|Reviews for Fire Emblem: Serene Radiance|
| Badiak 2/5/13 . chapter 6
Well . . . so Tibarn isn't dead. I guess that kind of takes everything about last chapter that I didn't like. And since this seemed like a filler chapter, I don't actually know what to review here. But yeah, I feel pretty stupid now, not going to lie.
Anyway, uhhh, I don't actually know what to put here now. But good story. Yeah. Yeah, let's go with that. Ok.
| Badiak 1/21/13 . chapter 5
Apparently you liked my previous review enough to respond to it. Well, you're welcome! Something else though: while I don't actually have an account here, as you've probably guessed, I'd appreciate a name besides 'anon' to use for these reviews. Especially if I become a regular reader of this story, which I plan to do. That's, of course, assuming you update reasonably often, keep things flowing and interesting, etc., you get the idea. Anyway, for the sake of these reviews, call me Badiak. It's my alias for several other online games, social sites and the like.
But I digress. About the story, there's a lot of things that you're doing well, and others I have to question. Good news first: if you're making any spelling or grammatical mistakes, they're scattered enough that I don't notice them. That's a problem that's more common than it should be on this site. Another thing: the story is easy to follow, it doesn't jump around too much. It's a steady, easy, enjoyable story to read.
As for the bad news: it's extremely bold that you kill off so many characters so rapidly. My all-time favorite FE story here (Spellbinding Radiance by Foxwolf Jackson, heard of it?) has only killed off 5 characters over 115 chapters that each easily match yours in length. Unfortunately, I have no idea where you're going with it: killing Tibarn and Janaff consecutively, particularly in the early stages of the story, pretty much sets up the Hawk Tribe to have little to no collective presence through the rest of it. I can only guess that Naesala is now going to get a much bigger role, even though he's barely had any role at all so far. It's one thing to kill off characters as a terror tactic, but there has to be an established core of central characters eventually. I thought I saw one forming, but Tibarn's death basically gutted it. That can't continue for many more chapters.
All in all though, it's a nice read. Looking forward to the next installment.
| Zilver A. Hawk 12/30/12 . chapter 5
I just want to say, this is a pretty intense story so far. I just discovered it today and started to read through it. The plot's exciting, I'll give you that. It makes me worry about the characters... And I really, really hate Gabriel. He just seems like one of those guys I would want to punch in the face. If you're going for a villain angle with him, then that's a success in my book.
I like the idea for the re-population of Serenes. I don't think I've seen it done before...and it makes sense. The heron siblings would have to do -something- to get their country back on track. And bringing in characters from Archanea. I'd have to admit I was a bit confused. I know that there were manaketes in Archanea, but never laguz. I'm just guessing that this is a more modern version of the Archanea we know? I'm still intrigued by the idea, so I'm waiting for more information.
The Sephiroth part made me giggle.
I'll give you a few critiques though, just because I'm a believer of giving compliments and criticism. In the first chapter, near the very end, I noticed that you used the word "dude." I'd be careful of the language you use when writing. Make sure that when you're writing dialogue, it matches the style of the period it's in. Since this isn't taking place in a high school slang and stuff probably isn't the most appropriate.
I will also admit that the fact that most of the story is dialogue makes it difficult to follow. I'm constantly scrolling back to see who's talking, and where they're at, etc. It's something I'm working on myself, but I'm a firm believer of adding in details that describe the characters and surroundings to paint a vivid picture in the eye of the reader. Because there is so much dialogue and not a lot of extra description, it makes the plot a bit difficult to follow. There's a lot of different things happening at once. I have to do a lot of rereading, but I think I can keep up with them.
Long review is long... Consider this a review for all 5 chapters, and I'm just catching up!
Zilver A. Hawk
| Guest 12/2/12 . chapter 4
It's a good story, really. The delivery could be better in some places, but I'm pretty well hooked. The character deaths bother me a lot, just because I see them as wastes of character development opportunity, but that's me.
You definitely ought to keep writing. No question. It may be rough around the edges, but this story has one of the better plots I've ever seen.
| Gunlord500 11/18/12 . chapter 1
Damn! Ike was (supposedly) killed! What a way to start a story...you've got my interest, at least. I hope you continue this :D
| Cookie-the-Platypus 11/17/12 . chapter 1
Are you suuure you don't want Volke doing charity work? Or Brom as a omnicidal maniac? I don't knooow... Crazy times call for crazy measures... XD
| Mathmatt878 11/17/12 . chapter 1
Nice story, and I liked how you added in the reference to the feast or famine conversation from RD, but it wasn't really realistic how Astrid wanted to make sure it was the same Ike, after all, does she know any other famous Ikes? But overall, good story.