|Reviews for Three Heroes|
| Hawki 3/31/13 . chapter 1
-I’ll admit straight off the bat that I’m not a military buff, and that my knowledge of the ‘Ace Combat’ series is quite limited, but would a “City Defence Force” really exist? Far as I can tell, the ISAF has an army, navy, and air force, and I can’t find any other branches. Closest thing in real-life terms would be a city militia.
Nitpick, I know, but can only be honest I’m afraid.
-Good introduction of characters. They’re introduced realtively close together, but time is given to flesh them out, and it doesn’t feel like an info-dump.
- "I no links to keep me here,”
Should be “I’ve.”
- "I wouldn't want to be captured by the Erusian's,"
Can cut out the apostrophe of “Erusians.”
-"Have you heard the rumours about what the Erusian soldiers do to girl soldiers the capture?
Should be “they” capture. Also, not sure why girl soldiers are being singled out as opposed to females in general. Usually civilians are the ones who are on the receiving end of such acts.
-Good visual imagery with the damage caused by the Erusian attack.
-Battle scene is decent overall. This is kind of a nitpick, and again, I admit to not being a military buff, but it does feel iffy that the fighting enters close quarters so quickly. Warfare’s been conducted at every increased ranges over time, and with the war in question occurring in the early 21st century, I assume the norm applies to Strangereal as well.
Still, decent fic.
| 101stkillah 11/28/12 . chapter 1
This is an excellent story, but might I suggest that you take it off an re-release it with a T rating? Then a lot more people would get to see your story, and you might be able to get some reviews. It kinda sucks that a diamond story like this gets buried in the M section, especially when most of us in this fandom can handle a few deaths.
Anyway, great job, and keep writing!