|Reviews for 60 Seconds|
| Becks93 5/23/13 . chapter 29
I always feel sorry for the district 3 tributes. They are so intelligent and yet they have no chance to survive. This emotion comes across really well in Calci's chapter. I think it's the simplicity of the chapters which really makes these, if they were any longer I think they would lose some of their power.
| Becks93 5/23/13 . chapter 23
The district 4 tribute chapters are amazing. Yet again you managed to capture the scene perfectly. They are so haunting in a brilliant, artistic way. Well done again :)
| Kate-The-Great-And-Powerful 5/20/13 . chapter 40
...That was really sad :'( Very good, but sad...
| Nrrrd-Grrrl-Meg 5/19/13 . chapter 40
Your writing is just unlike any other on here. With little words, you paint a picture better than a 5000 word chapter. I've always had a little place in my heart for the D1 siblings, since I could see something like this being the norm for them. It is gross, yet they have no say in it.
| FriendlyFinnick 5/18/13 . chapter 40
The Capitol is sick.
| Edhla 5/18/13 . chapter 4
Hi :) As a stylistic thing, and I probably said this in an earlier review, I think perhaps you should keep A/Ns to a bare minimum or leave them til the end, as they risk overpowering your drabbles- I know a lot of writers put in disclaimers, but I think they're sort of implied, anyway :)
I really like the gesture of Clove crossing her ankles, though I keep wondering if the comma in that sentence should be a semi-colon. You're probably best off asking someone who's grasp of punctuation is better than mine. :p I do really like "shifts about", though, and the restlessness that is implied in that.
Given how excellently precise your drabbles tend to be and how apt your details always are, I thought "Enobaria and Lyme sit on the couch" was a little lacking. Given that you're restricted to 100 words, though, I'm not sure which I'd sacrifice to give that imagery a little more punch. Really like the "coiled spring', and the image of Enobaria baring her teeth... like she's a savage animal and not a human being.
Is the spelling "Ceaser" canon? I have no idea, but just thought I'd check :) I'm a little confused about the sudden mention of the name of someone who seems not to be present, but that's no doubt a canon issue and not a flaw in your writing.
I like the simple horror of "kill them?"
Although as a fellow Aussie I would say something like "leans forwards" in conversation, I think "leans forward" is more correct in writing :) If Lance is the one speaking in all instances, I'd put "tell them exactly..." on the line above, just to make that a little clearer. Quite chilling that he's talking about a child who's about to probably die as being a "slut." Ugh.
"Confused"- this is brilliant. Very well done on this one x
| RussianDestruction 5/15/13 . chapter 5
I loved this one. It's so heartbreaking. You can just feel Finnick's longing for Annie in every word of this drabble. In my opinion, your decision to go simple with the description was wise. Nothing more was needed. The last line, in particular, is breathtakingly meaningful. Finnick loves her so much, and it really comes across in this.
You captured everything of Annie's personality just in the way she speaks to him about the crab over the phone. Her innocence and calmness really shine through in the almost childlike way with which she tells Finnick that the crab “wanted to go home”.
This may be a smaller thing, but your including the reference to the time difference with district 4 fleshes out the canon universe, since those sorts of things weren't really touched on all that much in the books.
My only nit would be that you are needing a comma here “What did you do today, Annie?” as well as here “I can't wait to be home too, Annie”.
| starlight.moon.princess 5/15/13 . chapter 5
So, I'm only familiar with Finnick due to the pieces I've read here and there, and the discussion a few of my friends have had, but from what I know, this is lovely :)
The way Finnick calls and checks on Annie is lovely, but the underlying sadness is heartbreaking, because while I'm reading this, I'm very concious about the way the past victors - and most likely Finnick just moments before/after this piece - are treated in the Capitol.
Annie's childlike behaviour and her disconnect from the world are shown beautifully here, especially since we never actually see/hear her in this chapter.
The last lines were gorgeous. It's a mark of how much Finnick loves Annie that he's content with just listening to her breathe, and you've brought that across really well.
The italics to mark speech work here, unlike in the last chapter, mainly because they don't overpower the drabble.
I do have to comment that the spacing between the paragraphs seems to be a little off, which makes the entire drabble look like a huge chunk of text.
But that's just technical details :)
The actual writing was brilliant as usual :)
Well done :)
| starlight.moon.princess 5/15/13 . chapter 4
Oh, I like this one :)
It's a bit unconventional, but I like the act that it's not completely focused on Clove. I think it's a beautiful reflection of how the Tributes were coached and turned into these otherworldly characters who were most probably nothing like them.
Clove's slight nervousness - the way she glance at the door, the way she just agrees to what her mentors are saying without arguing - is a testament to the fact that she was molded into someone that isn't really her, I think.
The thing I'd like to point out about this is the fact that the mentors' dialogue being in italicized a bit disconcerting. The fact that so much of the drabble is italicized also makes it a bit difficult to read visually. It think it would be better if you made that regular font.
But otherwise, this was brilliant as usual :)
| Becks93 5/15/13 . chapter 15
I think the Roy, Cecilia and Mila chapters really capture the sense of just how sick Panem is. Especially Mila's. This is a good showcase of how to capture different characters voices.
| Becks93 5/15/13 . chapter 9
Aww, Henrietta. So sad, I think it's really amazing how you capture the emotion in 100 words, a very difficult task well done.
| Becks93 5/15/13 . chapter 6
Cedar, :), perfection. I think this is probably a true representation of the thoughts going through a tributes mind before the main event. I wonder what the gamemakers would do if a tribute actually died before the arena?
| Becks93 5/15/13 . chapter 4
I have only read 4 so far, but I love the way you change the choice of words/style of writing for each of the different characters. For instance, Peeta's was haunting, Marvel's was very provocative and Clove's is really strong.
| starlight.moon.princess 5/14/13 . chapter 3
I liked reading Glimmer's version of the events of the last chapter here :)
[it is not meant for real life] I love this line. I love how the entire idea of the Games seems to be something like a dream for the participants, especially the song and dance they are put through before they have to fight to the death. I can imagine a Career like Glimmer, who has been raised to fight, would be bewildered by the entire "show" that the Capitol puts up before the actual Games start.
[she looks as tarnished as she feels] Another beautiful line here. I love the juxtaposition between her name, which brings to mind glimmering precious metals, and the word [tarnished]. It's as though she's wondering just how far she'll have to fall if she has to win the Games.
The part about her relationship with Marvel was lovely. I have a soft spot for this pair and Cato and Clove, and I love how you've portrayed the shyness of a young girl in love, especially as she knows that she may just have to kill the boy she cares about. No matter how she has been raised and the warrior she has been forced to become, Glimmer is still a girl, and the fact that you brought that out was brilliant.
Well done :)
| Edhla 5/14/13 . chapter 2
Here we are again :)
Again you have some lovely imagery here. I didn't mention this in the last review, which was a while ago, but I'd be very wary of using/overusing A/Ns in bold for this fic. Your drabbles are so teeny-tiny, like little jewels, that they're easily swamped with bolded A/Ns that are the same length as they are... especially if there's a dissonance of mood between them.
I had reservations about your use of the word "arse" here; we could just have very different mothers ( ;) ) but it seemed almost shockingly vulgar to put in the context of the drabble, especially with the far more flattering depictions of her thighs and "pert nipples." YMMV, but I don't get any kind of sexy or attractive connotations from the word "arse." :p
I love Marvel's fixation with his hands- that's clever, succinct storytelling.
"Marvel is..." there's something slightly off about this and I'm not entirely sure what it is. I think there's a tense change? "Wouldn't" vs. some other expression like "doesn't" or "would never"...? I'm struggling a little, but the line was very slightly problematic to me.
As always, though, lovely work x