What a cliff hanger! I love it though, exciting and fast-paced! Keep writing so we all may keep reading please and thank you :)

Hello!

Ahahaha! Fav character is defiantly Khalidiah... acts just like me with random changing emotions XD *nudge nudge* And only you, I, and another one of us can understand that. :P

Ooooo very good. Duncan! You are such a creeper -_-

Read you around (and post again soon... *poke poke*)
Blackie

Continue! Please!

loved it

Hey, this is amazing! I love it! I really want to know what he'll do next... but just one thing? I'm a writer too and i appreciate constructive criticism. I helps me be better at what i like to do. So... maybe you could use less 'I's at the start of sentences? Maybe rearrange the sentence so a different word is at the start? Just a suggestion and you don't have to do it if you don't want to or anything. I'd know i'd like it if somebody told me how to improve...
Anyhow... ABSOLUTELY GREAT STORY! OMG i can't wait for the update. I'm adding you to my fave list :) and you should know that i don't do that very much! :)