|Reviews for Flaws|
| guilefan 5/5/13 . chapter 1
Awesome. This is beautiful, and the theme behind the story is pretty. Guile was a fail magician, and this is just a correct reason why he is such a loner in the game. Maybe he really has a sad past that he doesn't like to share to his friends... Maybe this is the reason why he is so emo throughout the game... I enjoy this! Thanks for the moral and story!
| Aeci 1/6/13 . chapter 1
This was a gorgeous one-shot, especially with your use of descriptive language. I loved the opening line and it drew me in, because I was wondering just what "that place" was. It was a fitting situation for Guile's remembering.
I also liked the prompts that were italicized in the beginning of each paragraph - they slowly became more gritty and dark, which helped develop the story as it went on. Guile's fear that the people finding him would be part of the audience came across very well.
Finally, his change in demeanor at the end, when he acknowledges the nature of human beings as imperfect, is a nice conclusion to his reminiscence. So he's learned a bit more about himself - and others - in the process; hopefully he can be more accepting of things now.
I have one little suggestion:
"Honestly, Doc, how can you know that she's allergic to that antibiotic?" - I feel this should be in past tense, like "how could you have known that she was allergic…". The fact that the patient died was no longer a 'current' issue, and instead was in the past.
I really enjoyed this!
| DarkHorse26 12/26/12 . chapter 1
It appears that you enjoy occupying my community! Oh well... ;P
Well, truth is, I like the way you interpret Guile in so many different ways (and you managed to do everything very well). This time he's a flawed magician... Oh, wow! The inscribed message is wonderful, and the last line makes a good resolution for everything! I loved this one! :D
| Green Phantom Queen 12/12/12 . chapter 1
It takes courage to accept the mistakes you've created. Guile can no longer explain why everything went wrong and everyone just jumped into conclusion. It's nice that Guile can just let things go and mistakes can become part of something better. No one is perfect, and you don't have to be perfect to be loved. All you do is just continue with life and never let these mistakes weigh you down.
| PrinceVeggie 12/7/12 . chapter 1
No matter how you write Guile, you always do a good job. Looking forward to updates :)
| ballofstring66 12/4/12 . chapter 1
The first paragraph is really well written andsets up a very melancholy mood and image.
I enjoyed the reflective nature of this and Guile coming to terms with his mistake. The only odd note for me was the little scene with the two clumsy people dropung vasesand tripping over tables. I think I understand that you were trying to show their flaws but in relation to Guile's own (rather huge) mistake this seemed rather trivial. I feel it needed to go a little deeper at this point but that is just my opinion. It's a good read and has an effective story arc.
| Her Royal Nonsense 12/3/12 . chapter 1
Funny that a previous reviewer should mention the draw of your first few sentences – it was actually the strength of your immediate introduction that spurred me to tag you. Mechanically and grammatically, this fic is very well written – although there are a few places where your wording does become a tad awkward. “Guile felt heavy on his eyelids”, I think you might have met Guile’s eyelids felt heavy? Also, using ‘scents’ in relation to beer and red wine – particularly beer which (imo) has more of a stench also reads a little awkwardly. Lastly, there was a bit in the middle of your fic where you refer to audiences... I think it might work a tad better if you remove the plural form. Nothing substantial though.
I actually very much enjoyed this little story and I do like the lessons you share. Like I said, apart from a little awkward phrasing, it was well written. Brava.
| ReadingBlueWolf 12/3/12 . chapter 1
Finally! Sorry it's taken me so long!
I loved how you started this off with the yellowish glow of the lamps. That was a great way to draw people in immediately. " reach that place, the place where" either removing that place or making it a semicolon would make this flow better. Right now it reads awkward. "the alcohol could end up" if you change could to would it flows better. I really enjoy the internal struggle going on. It's quite interesting. That was a twisted ending I never expected to read that. I really like the theme of this though. It was nice and really uplifting. While I wish there was a little more showing, I thought this was a really decent story. It didn't drag on and it wasn't too short. It gave you flash backs into Guile's life and it was something nice to see. Good job!
| Crow's Talon 12/3/12 . chapter 1
I still really enjoy the character of Guile, and the SPAG is nice and tidy for the most part. I like the lesson behind the story, too, that no one is perfect and we all make mistakes. Guile has a very nosy conscience. The dialogue seems less stilted this time, so good work with that. The ending tied in nicely, too. Good job.
| HeroesAmongUs 12/3/12 . chapter 1
Quite a spirtual little story here.
I liked the whole void part. It had quite a creepy/other worldly feel which came across slightly beautiful as well.
The line 'Humans are but imperfect living beings. No matter how great they are, they will eventually make a mistake.' I thought was perfect. That has to be one of the best things I've read.
An interesting story. Keep up the good work.
| Anonymous 12/3/12 . chapter 1
Well, your summary is extremely interesting, and again, the story itself is very intriguing! There's a message inscribed... Oh, and what's great is, Guile is the main character of the fic. Why you ask, because a fic focusing on Guile is rare. Good job and please write more.
| Edhla 12/3/12 . chapter 1
That first line is beautiful, I wish I'd written it!
I'm still no expert on your fandom, but I really enjoyed this. You have some lovely images in particular, like this one:
"Slowly, the quarrel abated. Darkness had enveloped everything, blackening Guile's vision. Now, he realized that he was in the void."
I also loved the reference to the scents of beer and red wine- you're great at writing with all five senses, not just describing what things look like, which is a mistake I make all the time!
There are some turns of phrase that are a little awkward, especially in the dialogue, ("I decided not to drink at this moment" but otherwise, I love this, and the last line is adorable. Well done x