OH! This one is longer! And, I see... so you’re doing 3 “before”, 3 “during” and 3 “after”? Maybe... but I’m wondering what you have in mind for “after”. XD;

“Sometimes, if she squints, the line between sky and soil blurs enough that it becomes a singular streak of runny color.” I absolutely love everything about this line. Gorgeous description 3

Oh my god. This is so good. Like... wow. Your writing is so beautiful here. Everything about the imagery and description were just... wow. W O W. Perfect.

Perfect.

Oh my god.

I would say something like “CAN YOU NOT” here but I feel like “CAN YOU ALWAYS” is more appropriate.

W O W girl. You need to stop being absolutely flawless. Or you know, like, not stop. Like whatever. 33333

“He fights like a dancer.”

First five words and I’m already “I can’t”ing all over the place.

AWWWW THIS ONE WAS SO SWEET.

I was fangriling with Kushina, too, let’s be real, the way you wrote Minato was perfection. Like even I want him now. XDDD

And in this short moment, I was both nervous and then happy as Kushina was noticed by Minato, and THAT my friend is how you know you have a good piece of writing. 3

YAY! Another short little thing packed with emotion and legitness, I’m sure! I see what you meant about the “glances” now and I really like the idea of telling a story like this. xD

“swears to invisible ears” and “afraid of what he won't say” are my two favorite lines from this one.

You describe her emotion so well that I can really feel what she does. The way you tackle their budding relationship and the fear of possible rejection that every girl with a crush has and I love it.

You got the emotion down perfectly 3

ALRIGHT. Kushina and Minato! Nothing like shipping the parents and it’s about time I got into this pairing since apparently, it’s a thing. XD So here I am!

Also, wow: “a story told in nine glances” are you trying to kill me? With just the description? No. Not okay. XDDD

AHHH I LOVE WHAT YOU DO HERE. (especially since I haven’t actually read this part of the manga or seen this part of the anime... facepalm. But PSH YOUR WRITING DOES IT BETTER SO SUCK IT KISHIMOTO AND STOP KILLING MY BABIES I MEAN wat. :D;;)

The way you describe his rescue of her just has so much emotion and you do it so brilliantly.

“Bone china”, “wan daylight”—can I just rip out your brain like the cheese from a pizza? XD;;;

No, but seriously. How do you do this. This piece is so short but packed with so much and I love it. I. Love. It.

Minato not understanding why he wouldn't want to be with her - big blooming smile right across my face. I wonder how long it'll take for Kushina to finally perk up and show off her aggressive side haha, but for right now, just seeing her be accepted by her future husband is adorable (ugh and now I'm remembering poor neglected Naruto). keep these coming!

there are so many snatches (hehe) of loveliness in your prose here, how Kushina doesn't want to be wiped clean, her heart doing a "trip-stop", and my favorite, Minato fighting like a dancer...just /lovely/. keep it up, you write these two cuties just how I want to read them!

Short and sweet. I love it! Nothing else I can say :)

I love the way you wrote this! :D its cute and sweet!

awwwwwww i love this fanfic ,, please update soon!XD

to short

I don't know how you manage to say so much with so little and then paint these pictures like Kushina's hair as her triumphant banner, and maybe her sleeping and thinking about Minato during the day, and then the sneak peeks during class? gosh so lovely, keep it up! :3

continue

GOSH WHAT CAN I SAY, THIS IS JUST A BEAUTIFUL BEGINNING! I love how you touched on one of my favorite parts of their relationship, that they ground one another, and the way you show how vulnerable Kushina is in that moment, not because he's making her feel that way but because she's allowing herself to relax...ugh such perfection. can't wait to read more! :')