|Reviews for Just a Dream|
| SuperiorDimwit 6/7/13 . chapter 9
Ooooh but maybe I wasn't wrong...? Yes, to Rin it must have seemed suspicious that Yukio "wasn't sure he could come over weekend". On mission, maybe? Heh, the mind sure sees what it wishes to see... Just like mine wishes to see Insane Rin. x') Dang, reading experience doubling back and stabbing me from behind!
Meheheheh, oh, you're good... So Rin liked the dreamt-up Yukio better, hm? That's one step in the right direction (according to me), and two in the wrong (nobody in the fic will think it's brilliant if he loses it). *w*
"What made Yukio uneasy was how Rin said he wanted to see the academy AGAIN." - Brilliant! Oh, that's just the thing to subtly pave the road to madness! *dances around* Meh, bear with my enthusiasm; it's not often I get to see someone begin with a completely sane character and turn him nuts by degree this convincingly. ;)
"Silence that the brunette twin would have ravished in if it weren't for the circumstances." - relished
"I'm going to study for a bit, you go on asleep."
| SuperiorDimwit 6/7/13 . chapter 8
I always expected Bon's birthday to be the 15th of August, since that's the date for honoring the spirits of one's ancestors (a tradition called Bon). :P That's cool, though!
Twenty-seventh? Ah, that's right: dates differ from manga to anime... in strange ways.
Rather sweet chapter, though I must say the Christmas treat for me was Rin and Yukio sharing that conversation by the swings. I love brothers that care for one another. :3 Though, "Maybe if I went back to school, I could get my old life back.." Is that...? IS that... a Rin that still hasn't given up hope of his life as an exorcist? It looks just subtle and ominous enough to be a seed of crazy taking root... Or maybe that's what I hope for it to be? x') To tell the truth, somewhere along the way I started to think that this would be a great way to turn Rin insane and toy with the readers' perceptions of what was real and what wasn't. I like getting mindfucked, but that might just be me.
| SuperiorDimwit 6/7/13 . chapter 7
Mmm, "my book". Why do I feel like he's... getting acquainted with a new pet? Naming it and defining it like that might have something to do with that impression, I think. But it's also a written work, and that's like a pet or a baby in my eyes... x') Though Rin probably doesn't feel the same about his writing, and he isn't exactly writing a story either.
Empty his plate into the... sink? 0_o Why not in the trash bin? Am I missing something here?
Mah, this isn't easy on Yukio, either. You mention it briefly, but the feeling gets through well. It's easy to listen to others and forget to listen to yourself: I'm glad you make this Yukio someone who is better at listening than the Yukio in manga and anime is.
...it just occurs to me that Bon is a lone child. Sure, he's grown up with Shima and Konekomaru, and a whole bunch of older kids in Myou Dha, but it seems (in your fic, at least) as if that hasn't been substitute enough for him to develop a concept of what it means to be brothers. In all, I think it's believable that he comes across as a little harsh in his counseling of Yukio.
Gotta say, I like the way you have Rin and Tatsuma interact in this chapter. It's so very Rin, to demand a straight answer with no bothersome thinking and deciding involved. :P Such a simple scene, yet it says quite a bit of how reading has been helping, and how Rin (of course) is oblivious to it himself. (I'm wearing a goofy grin, too.)
...so much cosiness, and then that ending line that somehow makes my brain prickle. Sounds ominous, that.
Couple of things that caught my eye:
"The younger of the Okumura twins had called to check in. since it was Friday..." - Just a slip.
"As expected by Shiro, Rin's face slowly became happy and a huge smile appeared on his face." - Might want to just look that one over, with the repetition of "face".
"Have you been telling Father what everything you say with him?" - Um, not following here.
| SuperiorDimwit 6/7/13 . chapter 6
The little... nnnnngh is there even a word for it? When the weft of one's life gets worn and fringed at the edges, and those little threads tangle and knot? It's such small things, like Yukio's see-or-don't-see-Rin dilemma, but even as the weft itself continues unhindered those small tangles become increasingly knottier and bothersome. It's an issue I often have with social life (which I'm not very good at), which might be the reason it leaps out at me the way it does in this chapter, but I still feel you've captured it so well one shouldn't be able not to notice.
Good suggestion from the therapist to write. I'm of the opinion that more people should write down what they feel and think, in whatever form suits them; I just think it would help many sort out problems that have been weighing on them.
This middle sentence here got me a little confused: ' "It's nothing," Rin said quickly. His face reddened even more as your face lit up in a blush. His face was already red enough from his crying, now he just added to it. Nothing more was said during the walk home.'
| SuperiorDimwit 6/2/13 . chapter 4
Pff, as if Rin would be fine with being bedridden. x) Whatever were they thinking? Up and stumbling about and cooking, that's him. Awww, and they're all gathered around the dinner table! x3 "His wife will have no chance..." Hihihihi!
Hssssss *draws in breath as of being in pain* Oh, poor Rin... If he doesn't let go of the exorcist life he dreamt, he's going to hurt himself seriously. I wonder, would re-introducing him to Kuro help any? If he realises he can't telepathically communicate with him, and that the cat does in fact only have one tail...? Nah, he could still dismiss it all as some illusion created by a demon to disable him.
| SuperiorDimwit 6/2/13 . chapter 3
...I feel for Rin. Getting his reality ripped apart like that. And people laughing at it. x/ They don't know what that does to him, and it is an outrageous tale he sputters, so I can't blame them. Though... that Shiro is alive should ease part of the pain, I hope. Then again, all those things they did together that welded them into a team never happened, and Shiemi and Bon and the rest view him as a stranger... No, I suppose it takes a long time to get over that and adjust to reality, if ever he can get over it.
What gets me a little is that he somehow managed to incorporate Yukio's classmates into his dreams, without having met them. He could have heard Yukio talking about them, could have heard their voices when they visited - a minute in real time can turn into forever in one's mind after all. But he even got their looks right...? I'm looking forward to reading more of this incredibly interesting fic!
| SuperiorDimwit 6/2/13 . chapter 2
Oh god, you make me cry already... It was a hard blow to hear Shiro say that, about pulling the plug on Rin. I mean, I can see the sense in it, hospital bills and all... but shit, that's so harsh. I love how Yukio stands up for his brother, how that collected facade crackles. He says just the right words.
""I'm a nun," she said. "That just had a day off at the beach," she explained her appearance. "And I'm not a very good nun."" - And straight from heartbroken to snorting with laughter! xD I don't think I'd describe the transition as smooth, but nonetheless one that I appreciate.
And straight back to the solemn atmosphere of loss, seeping out through the photos and never getting the chance to say goodbye. Dang, you always pluck just the right strings! I should mention, I love how you portray Yukio's classmates. Bon's "What was your brother like?"... That wouldn't have had half the effect, if not for the silence before it. But the silence is there, and the line is perfect, and I can see Bon standing there, arms crossed, looking at his friend's twin with that ubiquitous glare he worries himself about. Shiemi, walking in with flowers, and speaking of the photos like that... yes, yes, and yes: you make her the sweet, caring girl I know from the manga.
| Kadge Rose-Feather 5/25/13 . chapter 13
Ahhhhh, I love it u
Hope you'll continue. Great job so far.
I commend you on getting so much written, and so well, as well! Haha, awesome work though. Seriously.
| katsekala 5/19/13 . chapter 13
It is a great story! Many kisses!
| Kristen Sharpe 5/15/13 . chapter 13
Argh, why didn't I review this sooner? Probably because there's just so much to say.
First, the beginning of this had me dancing. (Well, not literally, but you know.) Yukio *finally* explained his issues, and he and Rin got that mess out in the open. On top of that, Rin got into True Cross! *cheers*
Also, Rin staring at Mephisto was hilarious. (He was probably amazed that the *human* one has purple hair.) And, of course, so was Mephisto himself. "Booty–wow–wow–sham"- *snort!*
Other than that, I don't have anything intelligent to say, just a lot of random thoughts. So, Rin will be rooming with Godaiin and Takara? Huh. I don't know if even Rin can get along with Takara, but it's nice to see Godaiin make a fanfic appearance! And, Rin *did* get lost at the school. Oops. Yukio's never going to let him live that down, is he? Ah, well, at least Rin and Shiemi are cute, though they seem to be moving awfully fast for what I'd expect from those two. Hmm, and Shiro still has to talk to Rin about that medicine. It doesn't seem needed at all right now. I wonder if that should make me worry...
| WELOVEOLYMPUS's Penguin6232 5/4/13 . chapter 13
| Guest 5/1/13 . chapter 6
I'm so sorry but I wanna knock Bon out
| anon 4/30/13 . chapter 13
hmm..i expect Rin to have trouble with his reputation preceding him. And some harassment because of the scar on his face
| Kristen Sharpe 4/22/13 . chapter 12
Ah, it's nice to see Shiro finally pushing Yukio a little more and Yukio finally listening to someone besides Suguro! Now, I wonder how everything else - the pills, the impending therapy session, Rin's brooding - will turn out. And, that scene at the end with Yukio's reaction to the pat has me wondering. What kind of relationship have Shiro and Yukio had in this world where there are no exorcists and Yukio wasn't raised as his father's protege? Hmm. Still, things are looking up a little! Maybe?
| IjuuinFangirl 3/4/13 . chapter 11
This is pretty cool. Although Rin and Yukio's relationship is borderline twincest in some parts (not that I'm complaining). I can't believe this doesn't have more reviews. Hope you update soon, since the last update was two months ago.