|Reviews for My Shadow|
| Barako 5/1/13 . chapter 9
Awww! I can't wait to see what antics Songi gets up to outside! XD
Also, this was SO adorable!:
"Oh. Well..." He hesitated. It wasn't often that Songi made a careful effort to choose his words. "As much as I'd like to say, 'No, I wish you idiots had died there,' I... I'm glad you three didn't end up on my body-count. It was high enough as it was."
Your Gala is a lot like mine, feeling really bad cause he thinks he didn't do enough to prevent Songi from going off the deep end :( Poor Gala!
Can't wait to see what happens next! _
| Barako 4/16/13 . chapter 7
Another great chapter! w I know I've already read it and told you a lot of what I thought, but reviews are nice. XD
Anyway as always I really enjoy Gala and Songi's dialogue! They're very IC and I love the tension between them! It was adorable when Songi thanked Zalan, too, I wasn't expecting that. I know I won't find out for another couple chapters, but I really want to know how Songi will react to Gala bringing up his father! I can't wait to read more
| Barako 4/6/13 . chapter 6
Ahhh! The two lovebirds are moving in together at last XD!
Seriously though, this was another great chapter! _ I think your portrayal of them was very in character, and I was totally shocked when Gala punched Songi in the face... but it makes sense! Anyone can only take so much bullshit before they snap, even Gala! I almost laughed out loud when Songi tripped over the metal pieces and scrambled to his feet - I could really picture the look on his face XD
I can't wait to see what happens when these two are alone together! Hopefully, now that they don't have an in-house doctor anymore, Songi will be more careful...
| Barako 3/25/13 . chapter 5
Another great chapter, as always! This story really pulls at my emotions ;; I really like how their relationship seems to be developing, it's very realistic - a step forward, a step back... It seems very natural that Gala would be so confounded by Songi and his true intentions; Songi does do a great job of hiding himself, after all! The last few lines were quite ominous though, I wonder what you have in store! Can't wait to read more w But of course, take your time You've also done a good job with the little interactions with Zalan :3
As for the vegetarian thing, I have the V-Jump guide, and all it says is that Gala's favorite food is something that translates to "vegetarian food eaten by Buddhist monks". I don't know if that means Biron monks are fully vegetarian or not - I like to believe that it does and Songi is a rule-breaker by loving steak (XD), but it's not really conclusive either way. Either way, having them eat meat for muscle mass makes sense too, so it's all good!
| Hikari No Aijou 3/25/13 . chapter 5
Man! Poor Gala-he's just in turmoil! I love how his entire character is in conflict. During the story he's been constantly switching moods and his emotions seem pretty unpredictable right now. He's quite emotional right now. Ever-stoic Gala is doing a good job of keeping his emotions in right now more or less, but I get the feeling that sometime soon Gala is going to have an emotional breakdown and start yelling at Songi and spouting a bunch of things he'll want to take back later.
And it's nice to Songi feeling bad-I feel sorry for Songi, don't get me wrong, but I still want Songi to suffer a bit for what he did. It's obvious that Songi is starting to feel a bit like himself again. You're doing quite well I think with balancing Songi's actual character with his emotional, not himself moments. And Gala's certainly not himself either-he almost seems like he was back when he first met Vahn and Noa.
You're doing really well with making the reader's emotions connect with what the characters are feeling. Damn you, quit making me get all emotional! You keep making me "aw!" and "poor Gala!" and "poor Songi!" and making me feel bad for them!
All in all, good chapter-full of lots of conflict, anger, and emotion. Didn't find any typos or any of the sort to point out. Keep writing! Me likey!
| sylar's sidekick 3/25/13 . chapter 4
aaaaaaaaaaw! he cries! Songi cries! isn't it the cutest thing in the universe when the bad guy cries ? (thinks of Oliver Thredson and sylar with joy ;)) great writing hon! as always! I so shouldn't say that your ego is already big enough! but whatever! we need confidense don't we ? even if we pretent we don't sometimes ;)
| Barako 2/26/13 . chapter 4
Ahhh! Oh my gosh! What a great chapter :D
I really enjoyed all of the interaction between Gala and Songi. I think you handled the characterization well; Songi still has some of his arrogance despite being in the middle of a breakdown, and Gala, although he cares about Songi, is still quite distrustful of him, as he should be. I also don't mind the abrupt ending, though maybe that's just because I have a habit of ending things abruptly too! xP
I wish I could offer more constructive input but I honestly can't think of more to say than I really loved it, and I think you're doing a great job, and I want to read more! :D
Oh and one minor nitpicky thing, you typo'd "recognize": "With some embarrassment, Gala realized that they probably recongnized him" Not that that did anything to hamper my enjoyment of this chapter of course just thought you might like to know XD
| Hikari No Aijou 2/25/13 . chapter 4
Wow. Pretty emotional chapter. Songi crying doesn't seem all OOC to me-I mean, like I said before, every character has a time when they're not their usual selves. He's got a LOT to feel sorry for, and I'm glad he feels sorry, but at the same time, you kept his personality. Part of why he's crying is because of how his actions have affected HIM, and how he has to live the consequences for the rest of his life. He cried partially I think for the other people too, who were affected by his actions, but mostly for himself.
And you did a good job in this chapter with Gala's conflicted feelings of being both worried and angry, of both wanting to help Songi and leaving Songi on his own and never seeing him again. Very good inner conflict.
About the only thing I caughte is that you misspelled Soren. "...flying away with those Soran after the fortress collapsed." The way Soren is spelled in LoL is Soren, not Soran. Other than that, you're good! I enjoyed the pacing of the story. The only thing I didn't like was the ending-it ended a bit too suddenly. It didn't really feel like a conclusion to the chapter, like a cliffhanger or just normal ending to a chapter usually does.
But good job overall, especially concerning Songi's crying while at the same time keeping his reasons for crying focused more or less on him. Look forward to next chapter!
| Barako 2/16/13 . chapter 3
Hey! I really like this so far! Not only cause it's a Gala/Songi fic and I have been waiting like years for someone to write one, but I am really liking your interpretation of the characters. Especially the thing about Songi taking care of wounded animals when he was younger... I would never have thought of that myself, but it was so sweet and I think it really works!
Also, I think the second chapter doesn't really need the whole Hari scene in it, I think leaving it out helps the pacing, personally. After all, the focus of this fic is what happens with Gala and Songi after the game is over, not scenes we've already seen (with the exception of half-dead Songi being included in them of course).
And aarrgh how can he apologize and just leave like that! I understand it though, he's drugged, been through hell and back and totally conflicted, but ahhh the feelings ;_; Can't wait for the next chapter! 3
| Merel 2/8/13 . chapter 3
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw! songi is sick and in pain! I love it when they are! especially the bad guys! he should turn evil again though but weak and than Gala can keep him locked up (in shackles O_O)
| Hikari No Aijou 2/8/13 . chapter 3
Nice chapter! Even though it was short, I enjoyed it. And you're right-Songi was totally out of it. Truth be told, I get the feeling Songi's character is going to change. I think he's gonna be full of regret and guilt from the things he's done. I don't think Songi was out of character-I think his character is slowly changing. That's more the way I look at it. Of course, as of the immediate moment, he's gonna be quite different because of all that's happened.
And I like the way Gala's thoughts went-his thoughts reflect the current situation. And the whole Transmigration festival and Jigul Grass event is probably a lot of where Songi's whole search for power thing started.
Even though your chapter was short, it was nicely paced. There's only one thing I have a question on-the way you spelled jeweller. I've never seen it spelled that way. Is it a different version of it? I know in England they spell some words differently, like realise instead of realize. Just curious! And I look forward to next chapter...I get the feeling Songi is going to be doing something that will shock Gala...XD Aw darn it, now you really have itching to read it! Curse you! DX
| Guest 1/22/13 . chapter 1
NEEDS MORE SLASH!
| mereldegrauwe 1/19/13 . chapter 2
nice! I like that you put in backstory to explain how songi became evil! it's important for badguys to have a reason to turn evil or they're not realistic and less scary/interesting! and it was cute how worried gala was for songi at the start ;) and yes your writing is awesome... (thought I'd mention it... not that your ego needs a boost but whatever... I'm a nice person damn it!)
| Hikari No Aijou 1/13/13 . chapter 2
Aw! Poor Songi! This chapter really makes you feel for him. And I loved the way you wrote Vahn in this chapter. He is a very kind-hearted person (at least that's how I see him-he didn't have much personality in the game. XD). But he has EVERY right to be angry with Songi. I mean, Vahn had to face the chance he might lose every single he person he's ever loved, all at once. And you have to wonder how on earth he could do that to poor Maya. I mean, she did love Songi.
And I can see how Mei feels, too. Her and Vahn will find it hard to-if they ever do- forgive Songi. All of the characters seem to be in character mostly, save for those few moments when they're angry, but that's to be expected. Everyone has his or her moments when they aren't themselves.
And Songi's gentleness with the animals! That got me. I totally relate to Songi in that way. I'm extremely softhearted towards animals and little kids. It annoys me because my parents don't see animals the way I do, and I bet Maya and Zopu didn't quite see them the way Songi does. I really get a good impression of how close Songi and Gala were at one point.
There's only one thing I have a question with: Why is Biron a goddess in this? Biron is male. Back in Rim Elm, when playing as Vahn and you make the choice to ask Tetsu, "I want to hear about Biron," Tetsu says, "Biron is a god of strength and love..." Any particular reason why he's a goddess instead of a god in this story? It's just a big detail change, is all.
I didn't find any mistakes, so you're good there. :) Other than the Biron detail, I enjoyed your story. You really pulled my emotions in this chapter. I feel so sorry for Songi. And Gala of course. I didn't find the chapter boring at all. It was nicely paced, characters were kept in character, and you made a very interesting, and sad, backstory for both Gala and Songi. And Gala/Songi interaction next chapter! Yay! Things are bound to get interesting next chapter...Hikari likes, and Hikari has now faved! Look forward to next chapter. ;)
| Hikari No Aijou 12/14/12 . chapter 1
Hey, this is pretty good. Everyone seems in character, and the way you thought of saving Songi was a clever alternative to his death. After all, Horn is still a Ra-Seru. I like the way you set the relationship between Songi and Gala-Gala still cares for Songi, even after everything Songi did. The moment in the Seru-Kai was the one moment where I really felt sorry for Gala, and I guess, Songi as well.
I didn't catch any typos or grammatical errors. If I ever spot any, I'll let you know. :) But I love the way you've set this up! And Legend of Legaia is such an underrated game. It's my favorite game, and I wish more people would write in this section. Please keep writing! I enjoyed it. You're off to a good start so far. I look forward to more!