Translation to English:

"ATTENTION: I am attention whore who will do anything to get your attention. Since I am too cool to be original, I've copied squirrelking's style and made it even worse. Because, you know, bad writing attracts attention, geddit. I want my bad-written story to have its Gary's Mod video on YouTube, too. But the main problem is, I don't know what actually to write, because lack of creativity is cool as well, so please be so kind to tell me how exactly can I continue this story and attract more of your attention. kthxbai"

He suhde song an sing to the tv to mark bagles

I think he should go to sleep cause he is tired. :)

How about, he breaks right out of your computer and chops your hands off so you can't type up this drivel anymore?