This one started off really well. And overall i did like it its just for the last 5 chapters i got bored of reading. Your OC's were at first very well done, but then they too started to degrade under the multiple events and it seemed to me that the council was being far too obtuse. There was also a lot of hanging around needlessly almost like between each chapter you werent sure what to make them do next.

However, you were clearly trying to layer somewhat with Serrine, and that did work to an extent. Obi's torture in the Tube was very well described and as i said the initial 10 chapters were very gripping. Also liked Obi's revelation about Cerasi and being Jedi and his attempts to protect the others. As well as the hints that not all of them were being duped.

So i guess this one is a half and half...liked but felt it could have been better especially towards the second half.

Oh. Latin title. Classy... Smart of you to change the J to an I and make it accusative plural. I probably would have made it singular.

A great story, again! Totally love it... And it has a sequel.. *laughs evilly, then coughs* Erhem, well, it seems that Obi-Wan and the group's problems just've started...

Aw poor obi my eyes hurt so much thats how long ive been reading this! I love obi angst i dunno why lol! More plzz another plz plz xx

cool, how did you figure out the latin word for "jedi?"

Didn't see that ending coming and I love it. Great story. Definatly worth the read.

i blame you for the fact that i havent done my essay. once i started reading you story i couldnt stop. i think its brilliant and im so glad there is a sequel.

Great story! The torture parts are very well written. Also, another thing that is hard to do and most writers don't accomplish, is getting

Obi-Wans dialog right. Most people's dialog for him just doesn't sound like something he would say. I think you have nailed it! Excellent job!

Wow! I loved it. I love your OCs and all of the character development you do. I've read several of your stories and am still waiting,less patiently than before for an update to Forsaken and Begotten and Menagerie's Labyrinth! Please update soon, have pity, I'll update more, anything!

Just finished this story and loved it. Sorry not to have time for constructive critisism, mostly it would just be about grammar,spelling, or words used inappropriately (I'm probably not the best at the spelling myself, without a dictionary). It has been over 20 years since I was in school; but, when I was, I got straight A's in English. Sometimes a written passage just feels awkward, and I think I know a better way to phrase or punctuate it. It comes almost by instinct. If you want me to point them out I would. One example is your use of condoning (which means to pardon or forgive) when I think you mean condemnatory or censuring which mean to blame or judge as guilty. Please dont think I am being pompous- I just feel guilty about not giving constructive critisism more often. I love your stories' plots and character development and want to encourage you to keep writing. I'm off to your others to review! Believe me when I say that small grammatical errors in no way detract from my enjoyment of reading a good story, which is why I usually don't bother mentioning them. You are very talented and imaginative!

WOW! What a great story! So sad it had to come to an end! At least there's a sequel! I'm gonna read it now! :)

Great ending for a great story. I am making plans this weekend to read your other stories that you have listed here. Keep it up. I may not alway review but I always am reading stories.

hey, it's me again! great story! love it! i especially like the little plot twist at the very end...Jenna's back! oohh, SCARY! i would go over to read the sequel, but i have major homework to get at right now, but i promise i will read the next one...as soon as i can get to it! why did i ever take French and Spanish at the same time? i'm kicking myself, have been for the last few days...

Well, I certainly need some sort of special about a fanfiction to make me read it. this one got a lot of things. Now it is nearly midnight and I've got to go to school tommorow. That's what I can give you as praise. Go on like that

Maren

Thank you so much for this capter, I had hoped Serrine would do something to redeem herself, I couldn't help but feel sorry for her some how. You said that this was not one of your favorites, which one of your fics are you most proud of?