Oh this is one of those stories I could read many times over. I liked how you introduced your villains' names - one calling the other by his name, naturally, while the other by the tag on his jacket. This approach seems more natural to me for Steve to deduce as this is from his POV.
The brutal treatment Steve receives from Tommy was realistically played out and not over the top. I wonder what was going through Mike's thoughts the whole time Steve was inside the store. After watching "Flags of Terror", I could just imagine the fear he was experiencing - the fear of losing Steve should things not go according to plan.
I have no idea what "bologna" is...it might be called something different where I come from but whatever it is doesn't sound too appetizing according to Steve's reactions LOL.
There were some very intense scenes that held my attention throughout. I was holding my breath during the shoot out.
Nice to see Olsen, Haseejian, Lessing and Healey had arrived at the scene out of worry for Steve and undoubtedly to provide moral support for Mike, as well as doing everything they could to ensure the safe release of Steve and Louise Richards. I'm glad it all worked out.
I also like how Mike subtly offered to take Steve to the hospital to get checked out, out of earshot of the rest of the guys for the sake of protecting Steve's "bravado/machoness".

A perfect ending to one of my favorite SOSF stories :-)

Excellent beginning! You do Mike's character justice with writing from his POV the way you do - true to the way he was portrayed and just so well written. Three things I really think are absolute stand outs to your stories that I want to mention here:

1) Your dialogue between the characters. You could write nothing but a script and I would be glued in front of my screen enjoying reading every line of it. It's something I do admire and wish I could write them almost as well as you do.

2) The way you get right into the characters' heads and write their thoughts into your stories. Writing in POVs is a fine example.

3) You do a fantastic job with cliff hangers and suspense. Your action sequences are not over the top and I could imagine them take place in an episode. I love action and suspense but admittedly, I can get a little over zealous LOL.

This is one of my favorites.

Both thrilling and meaningful! Thank you very much!

Very nice. Especially Mike reminding Steve that he does have family - in his friends and coworkers. Thanks and Merry Christmas!

nice story!

Oh, meixel, you've done it again... sucked me right in, sitting on the edge of my seat! Looking forward to chapter 2!

Wow, I'm glad that at least the kids are free!
Hope everything will turn out well for their mother too.