|Reviews for New additon (on hold)|
| Nerdified Elf 1/2/13 . chapter 6
Ok, now there IS some backstory! And I guess that's a good explanation as to why she has so many powers, but it still irks me slightly.
| Nerdified Elf 1/2/13 . chapter 5
It's telepathy, not telepacy. I understand that it could just be a spelling mistake. And now she's a vampire? You might wanna back track on that. I'd like to see a little more background story on Iris
| Nerdified Elf 1/2/13 . chapter 4
Ah so this is what Silvi meant when she was talking about Sammael! Two problems... Please dont tell me that Iris is telepathic and how does one slowly walk through a wall?
| Nerdified Elf 1/2/13 . chapter 3
Again, brief. I would suggest something to separate the point of views. And what is Silvi hanging onto? The mantis' creatures mind perhaps? or maybe she just means that she's about to pass out. Also, marble itself has a gray streaks through it.
| Nerdified Elf 1/2/13 . chapter 2
kind of short but not a bad short. I just have two questions: One, what sort of wings does she have? Angel like wings? Fairy? Cupid style? And two, what does, "She wanted me to tell you Sammael." mean? I can't figure out from the context.
| Nerdified Elf 1/2/13 . chapter 1
ok, ok, sounds good so far! Just a few things: I wouldn't recommend any more than two powers. You should do a little more research on the actually team, instead of just saying, "The things in between his arms, legs, toes, and fingers had what was it called? Anyway they were to help him swim..." Or "Not like with a rock or a match, but with her mind kind of." And I like detail as much as the next author, but don't list EVERYTHING she took to school. And finally, please don't say BTW. It's a bit more professional to write it out. Please don't take all of this the wrong way and I can't wait to read the next chapter!