Wow, this is GREAT! I loved the descriptions and the detail and things like that you put in and I liked how you knew about the half life universe and how you can just write up such an amazing short story! But what I think you might want to improve on is make it an actual story! He could have survived the bullet in his back! Please, write more, I LOVE what you've written!

Very god fanfic fun and cool please post more

Aw, man... This truly made me sad.