I like the darker tone. You bring up an interesting point: if Rorschach and Dan had a relationship before Blair Roche, how would Rorschach's darkening psyche affect their relationship? I find your answer satisfying, although it leaves me wanting more. But that's what good writing is supposed to do.

Oh... Firetruck... YES!

This is EXACTLY how their relationship would go. I HAVE A NEW OTP!