|Reviews for Rogue|
| imaddictedtocarrots 1/10/13 . chapter 1
amazing love it
| Illovebooks 1/9/13 . chapter 1
This is really good!
| Metal Flowers 1/8/13 . chapter 1
Okay, I'm signed in! Now I'll give you ALL of my questions. Be warned, I have a lot.
What's the Flock dynamic like? Who is leader and who is second?
Did they search for Max after she disappeared?
Does Max have any hard feelings for them?
How much did Angel change in looks?
Is Angel more mature?
Has Angel turned into less of a Mary Sue?
Is Angel evil or traumatized in this story?
How will she be portrayed?
Has she made a grab for leadership yet?
Why is he such a jerk?
Why is he talking so much?
Did he get over some of his aversion to talking?
Does he still wear so much black?
Did he grow out his hair again, or did he trim it so that it's in his normal emo cut?
Did he have a girlfriend in between Max leaving and Max coming back?
Does he still love Max?
Is he willing to accept Max as a friend?
Is he willing to accept Max as a girlfriend?
Does Max still like Fang? Even a tiny bit?
Will he tell the rest of the Flock that Max was there? No one but Fang, Max, Desisten, and Angel got a line, so I assume they were sleeping.
Why wasn't Nudge being her usual talkative self?
Was Nudge sleeping during the whole exchange between Angel, Fang, Max, and Desisten?
Does Nudge still love Max the best?
How would she react to Max's sudden appearance?
Does Max still love him a lot? I think she would, since she still used her nickname for him. Gazzers.
How bad are his farts?
How old is he, now?
Does he miss Max terribly?
Is he hot?
What can he cook the best?
Does he miss Max?
Does he like Nudge or Ella more?
Is he still blind?
Does he have any new powers?
WHERE IS HE?
What does he look like?
What's his age?
Is he hot?
What type of leader is he?
What is Max's impression of him?
Is Max his first love?
Is Max his first girlfriend?
Is he a virgin?
Does he want to have sex with Max?
What about Max attracts him?
Oh well. She's good.
Is that enough questions?
| Metal Flowers 1/8/13 . chapter 1
Eep! I forgot to put my name! That super long review was by me, the amazing Metal Flowers. Now just let me log in, and post ANOTHER super long review for your first chapter.
| Guest 1/8/13 . chapter 1
said, said, said, asked, said, said, said, asked, said, asked, said, said, said.
Do you see the problem? Really, this was the only problem I picked up. I never got any emotion from anyone's dialogue, except maybe Desisten. Let's have an example:
"So you're one of the virus children," Angel said, "The ones who were turned into vampires? We don't want to be saved by you!"
Now, what emotion is she using? Is she disgusted? Afraid? Is she sad that her pretend mother is a vampire? I don't know, because all you shared was the word 'said'.
Now, the critisism over...I loved this. It's one of my new favorite stories. I mean seriously, vampires and mutants. I've wanted Max as a vamp for so long, but I didn't want a crossover.
You. Have. Achieved. What. I. Thought. Was. Impossible.
And let me fangirl about Desisten. He is my favorite OC, ever. From all fanfictions, Desisten is my favorite. He seems witty, he's cute, he looks loyal, he wasn't being overly protective and let Max deal with the Flock, he had her back...did I mention how cute he is? I got a clear mental picture of how cute he is.
But what is the depth of Max's feelings for him? How much does he love her in return?
Now, let's focus on the vampire aspect.
Again, squeal! Maximum Vampire! For some reason, I'm picturing her with vamprie bat wings. I know that was never mentioned, but...it looks cool in my head. Let me dream!
So, they're fanged, burn-in-daylight vampires...the fangs. Are they always there? Do they retract? How long are they?
And how long can Max go without blood? What about Desisten?
Can a vampire drink another vampire's blood for sustenance? How does one become a vampire, without the help of the virus? Is it transmitted solely by bite, can it be transmitted, or does blood have to be drunk from both sides?
What are the clan's rules? I'm sure that they must have some.
Now, I'll focus on writing style.
You used choppy, short sentences that I thought accented Max's vampire thought perfectly. From your style, I felt that Max was...colder. I definitely like this better than Prodigy because of the style.
| forever in the shadows 16 1/8/13 . chapter 1
Great Job! Very interesting way to protray vampires! Much better then twilight. I don't want to agree with Fang, but I kinda wanna see rebellious Max with Desisten.
| UnicornPrincess21 1/8/13 . chapter 1
Loved it! Post again soon!