|Reviews for The 18th: Standing in their Graves|
| Thgfan9 4/25/13 . chapter 15
These alliances really did shock me! Seriously,
Noalee is with Aedan AND Shiloh! Two of my favorite male tributes in the whole story. I'm happy. Noalee is much more suited to being with male allies seeing as she is such a tomboy and I am interested to see how this alliance plays out.
Lydia and Knox are the perfect match and I think each of them is the type of friend the other needs. I can see Damien joining in with these too, that'd be interesting.
The career alliance is already filled with tension and animosity and there is a lot going on with them especially with them being one ally down now, I can see them trying to recruit someone else, possibly Barke?
Andras's choice of allies was interesting and showed a lot about Andras that I didn't know, he's really developing into a very complex and interesting character now! He seems to have picked quite rebellious tributes and I wonder what his true reasoning is for this.
And there is mentions of Alyx and Rhain too... I'm interested in them and to see the dynamic of that alliance as they are both rather different in personality and background so we shall see how they get on!
I haven't many predictions for scores just yet though I see Sawyer, Ainsley and Andras scoring very highly, Desire about 8, Calder probably 7, even 6 as he is not very career like and Melody will likely try and do well enough but now as well as she could do seeing as she is still playing the part.
I think the other members of Andras's alliance will score a higher average score like a 6 with Phi possibly scoring even higher.
The other tributes I see doing quite average maybe with a few expecptions but I am really interested to find out.
I can't wait until the next chapter and whatever you have in store for us.
| Foxface5 4/24/13 . chapter 15
I really like what you've done in this chapter in terms of character development, alliances and of course the set up of future plots and developments! XD It's so exciting! Training is always one of the more exciting stages in terms of Capitol chapters and you've done so well, not to mention the writing is fantastic as ever!
Inez: I like her humility and normality, she is just such a normal girl but she has some intricate qualities and such a unqiue way of thinking that it makes her interesting despite being an average person. I like her reasoning for going it alone in the games yet I like how she is still kind to Aedan.
Melody: The careers are dysfunctional and arguing already and there seem to be a lot of resentfulness (mainly from Desire) and Sawyer has just swooped in and claimed control! Melody's true feelings were ominous and very effectivley contrasting to her outward behaviors.
Shiloh: He's still nervous and shy and has a low self esteem but it is clear that he feel boosted by his sucsess in the plants test, his correct use of the whip and being invited into an alliance. Things seem to be looking up for him and so he is focusing less on his cutting which is nice but I have a feeling since he's feeling so much better now that things may come crashing down.
I love this alliance already!
Elmo: He views fire and flame in an almost lusting way which is intense and dark but still very interesting to read. I can't help but not take his oath for revenege not seriously XD He tries so hard to show he is unique and tough that it just comes across as desperate. Marlee and Andras caught my eye here more than Elmo unfortunately.
Lydia: I am so pleased! Lydia will be a perfect friend for Knox and she has the right spirit and attitude to coax Knox out of his timidness XD Who knows maybe he'll get a chance to be a hero and protect her though Lydia seems like the motherly, protective type herself- maybe they'll just protect each other. I liked the gauntlet scenes :)
Phi: He is so moody and dark and maybe too cocky as he shouldn't go making an enemy of someone like Andras! He may think he has the advantage here, judging by his last lines but Andras seems much to smart and alert to let his guard down around someone like Phi. I think Adras, Phi, Marlee and Kalen will be a very diverse and interesting alliance!
I hope you update soon!
| LexisZ-10 4/24/13 . chapter 15
Training chapters are always the highlight of the Capitol section in syots for me so I enjoyed this, a lot!
I love the development process you seem to be following for Inez and every move she made, each thought and every opinion here was very in character for her but I like the subtle changes in her attiude! I adore her feelings for Aedan but how she doesn't want to get attatched, that was a perfect detail to incorporate for Inez. So I'm very pleased :)
Melody's section was all about the career's relationship and hierarchy and then Andras's departure but with some subtle hints of Melody's coming plans and she's playing her part very well so far.
Shiloh's was a very internalized pov with his angst and depression still there but more under the surface now and mixed in with his desire for acceptance and friendship it made for a very enjoyable read. He seems to be doing his best to hold on to a little bit of hope. He has allies which he is pleased about and seems to have at least one weapon he is competent with already and it all makes him feel happier about himself which is so sweet. I loved the interaction with Aedan.
I think Elmo was a lot more unhinged here. He made a mistake trying to impress the careers and I think he is overestimating himself with his thinking that he can get back at them. I liked all of the thoughts about fire, you really brought his obsession to the forefront and explained it well which some authors seem to neglect when portraying pyro tributes.
I would have put Lydia with Knox if it were my decision so well done on that alliance, they are probably going to be the most trusting and friendship-based alliance and they will break a lot of hearts of the reviewers I think. Lydia is so optimistic yet not naive and she is just making the best of her situation while it is apparent that she has little hope of survival which makes her more realistic and therefore more likable. I liked her and Knox a lot.
Phi irratates me with his cocky and blunt attitude. Okay so he is used to being judged and ridiculed but he shouldn't come on so strong and be so utterly defensive because if he was a bit more open people might like him for who he is. I love this new alliance though, sure to make things interesting.
I can't wait for more! Good job!
| MyrtleFalls 4/23/13 . chapter 15
"You're barely bigger than a bug, and way too nice."
Ooh, Sawyer...you're going to REGRET that little comment...I thought that you'd be smarter than that. Apparently not. I can see an epic showdown between Melody and Sawyer in the near future.
I really like how Andras split up from the Careers; I didn't expect that he'd do that. But allying with Phi: bad move. He's going to be stabbed in the back while he sleeps or something.
I didn't expect that Shiloh and Knox would be in separate alliances, but the Knox-Lydia thing works too. They both have similar personalities, I think, and Lydia's...motherliness? will help Knox in the arena.
Elmo, though...whoa. I thought that he was a little more...sane? I mean, we all knew the pyro part, but the screaming, the obsessive hatred of the Careers...there's a lot of rogue psychos in these Games.
Shiloh, Aedan, and Noalee...I can see that. I thought that Noalee would go for a...tougher? alliance since she's involved in gang activities and all, but I can see the Aedan-Noalee dynamic working out, although I don't really know how Shiloh will fit.
And finally, Inez. I really like her character, and I love how she decided to go alone because it would hurt too much to have allies. Personally, I'd surround myself with allies: going at it alone would scare me; there'd be no one to back me up. But I completely understand her reasoning.
As always, your writing is fantastic and I cannot wait for the next chapter!
| Even when musics gone 4/23/13 . chapter 15
I am so happy Lydia is with Knox :-) really it is so adorable how she looked to him for reassurance and happiness and I just love it already. I loved her pov!
I am glad the careers have some strong competition and have lost a strong ally already as it shakes things up and this 'anti-career' alliance is quite cool even if it had been done a lot lately this one is a very unique group.
I also adore Shiloh with Aedan and I wonder what Noalee will add to the alliance?
I think the careers will have very high scores but Melody might hold back a little and not do as well as she could.
And for non careers I think Phi, Noalee , Kalen, Barke and Rhain and Damien could get quite good scores and the rest will be average or quite low. Who knows!?
Can't wait for more :)
| Anime'sPrincess 4/23/13 . chapter 15
Training chapters! Usually the moment of truth for alliances and rivalries and I can see many future sub-plots have been set up. The story is already intricate and fast moving and I excitedly await each future update!
Inez is still a favorite of mine. She's so morally uptight and always tries to be polite but the ways of the Capitol citizens even annoy her, someone who is so tolerant usually and I liked how clear it was that she is struggling to remain proper and polite and is questionings the ways of herself and her sister.
Melody was a bit more bland this time around though to me more tolerable. I wasn't feeling it when she was being overly crazy and I am still not a fan of the whole Melody/Lilith double agenda aspect of her though I am interesting to see how it plays out in the arena. She kept on suggesting that she'd give it a few days until she revealed her true self so I wonder what that'll mean.
Andras's depature did come as a shock though ultimately made sense and will be interesting and it adds a new dynamic to the games already.
Shiloh is always nice to read about, he's very much an internal and pyschological type of tribute so most of his pov was just his own thoughts and I liked the addition of Aedan, it brightened the pov up a little.
Shiloh is very easy to root for and to want to see him do well and I liked the subtle reminders of his self-harm that were intergrated through the pov.
I am not feeling Elmo at all. It just doesn't feel right how arrogant he is for a 14 year old from 5 and why he is so hate-filled. Phi is similar in his character though it feels more justified and explained with Phi ... Elmo's attitude and pyromania just feel random to me.
The best part of this pov was the surprise of Andras recruiting Marlee and also Elmo showing himself up to the careers was rather amusing.
Lydia's section was on the milder side but probably the most endearing section. Her struggles with trying to delude herself and pretend everything will be okay was keenly felt and well executed and she's almost clinging to Knox as a way to keep her feeling normal and sane but I do like them together and think they'll have a nice friendship.
Phi is defensive, paranoid and very rude and I just love his blunt responses. He still wouldn't be my favorite character but he brings something interesting to the story that is for sure and his last lines were quite forboding. As I said, there are so many possible plot-lines being introduced already.
I found the alliances interesting, especially that of Andras and the 3 others and I think I'll like the Noalee, Aedan and Shiloh alliance too.
As for the mentions of Alyx with Rhain, I am very interested as of all the others I never pictured Rhain with Alyx and look forward to a pov from one of them to see how Rhain ended up with such a nice and happy tribute.
I don't know about scores yet I will wait and see!
| Lupus Overkill 4/21/13 . chapter 15
Well, I don't really have too much to say to begin this review, but I should say I really like how you've done the pre-Games chapters so far; you've definitely set up several potential subplots at this point and it looks like they'll be interesting. I'll go further into my thoughts on each of the sections in this chapter below...
Inez: I'll admit, Inez's part was a bit dull compared to some of the other parts in this section, but it made up for that fact with some nice character development and tribute interaction. It seems being reaped into the Hunger Games and her time in the Capitol are beginning to change her perspective on things; she's developed a strong hatred for the Capitol ways already and her feelings toward her sister seemed to have lessened as well. The interactions between Inez, Aedan, and their mentor were interesting as well (I liked the mentor's background as well). She's being quite sensible and pragmatic in her decision to have no allies and try to learn some survival skills in training.
Melody: Melody's part wasn't a favorite either; I don't like her that much as a character, although she does play an interesting role in the Career pack's dynamics. Speaking of which, the interactions between the Careers were definitely the highlight of her part; I'm really looking forward to seeing how the Careers develop this year. Not only that, but Andras' departure seems to have set up what looks like it will be an important subplot during the games. It also sets up the possibility of recruiting, which is also interesting. Overall, it was a nice chapter; I don't like Melody that much, but her part set up a major plot point for the Games and established what seems to be the Career hierarchy.
Shiloh: Shiloh's section was rather nice as well; I like him as a character and I enjoyed reading his part. He seems to have mastered the basics of both plants and whip use surprisingly easily, so that bodes well for him. However, the part that stood out together was the formation of what I'll probably be calling the Shiloh-Aedan-Noalee alliance (for now, hopefully a better name will come along). Honestly, I really liked how Aedan approached him, and his ending lines were probably what will be one of the few happy moments in this story. Based off of that, I would say this section was one of my favorites in this chapter.
Elmo: Elmo's part wasn't too interesting for me, to be honest. His frustration about not being able to use his lighter was interesting, as was the fact that Marlee was recruited into the Anti-Career alliance. His attempt at impressing/joining the Careers ended horribly, so that was somewhat interesting as well. Sorry about not having much to say about this section, by the way; Elmo's section didn't have as much content as some of the others in this chapter.
Lydia: Lydia's part, although it wasn't as eventful as some of the other parts of the chapter, was still fairly memorable; her interactions with Knox are sweet and I look forward to seeing how their alliance develops. She doesn't seem all that competent (at least in agility) based on her failure at the obstacle course, but she was still a nice character to read about. The alliance offer from Alyx was interesting as well, as was Alyx's alliance with Rhain. Overall, it was a section I liked, but it wasn't necessarily a favorite.
Phi: And lastly, it's time to talk about Phi's part in this chapter. Overall, it stood out and it was enjoyable to read; Phi isn't my favorite character, but he's still interesting. The first thing that stood out to me was that he abstained from training; he seems quite arrogant in doing this and it'll probably come back to haunt him in some way. The other important part in this chapter was Phi's invitation into the anti-Careers; he'll certainly be a major player in that alliance. The dynamics between its members, especially Phi and Andras, seems like they'll be something to watch out for in the games, and they're quite interesting as well. Those last few lines were both amusing and informative about Phi and Andras as characters.
What did you think about the alliances? Overall, they were interesting; there were many surprises, to say the least. Here's my thoughts on each of the currently known alliances...
Careers: The Career alliance seems interesting this year, especially with the Desire-Sawyer rivalry and Andras' departure. It's certainly not a stable alliance and it was rather either to predict its initial members, with the exception of Andras. It's nothing new, so I'll move on to the less anticipated alliances that have formed.
Anti-Careers: Although I was expecting some sort of anti-Career alliance to be founded, I'm surprised that Andras was the one to found it, although it makes sense now. Kalen and Phi seemed like likely candidates, but Marlee's membership in this alliance was surprising, although the reasons for it were explained well. Overall, it seems like it'll be an interesting alliance, although they'll all be in great peril once the games start.
Shiloh-Aedan-Noalee: I'll admit, I was surprised by this alliance; it's mainly because Shiloh's a member, although it seems reasonable. Honestly, I think I like this alliance a lot, although they're probably going to suffer in the games; they've got a really nice dynamic, but they're all weaker tributes.
Lydia-Knox: I'll admit, I'm not a huge fan of this alliance, but they seem to work well together. I don't have much to say about them at this point except that I look forward to seeing how this alliance develops.
Rhain-Alyx: Seeing as there hasn't been a Capitol POV for either of them, I can't say that much about this alliance. From what I can see, they seem to be closely-knit for two people who only just met; they both seem like very devoted and kind people. It's not a favorite, but these two have some possibilities ahead.
Any predictions for the scores, or the future of the alliances?
Well, first of all, out of the 6 Careers (I'm referring to those who trained, not the alliance), I imagine that Sawyer, Ainsley, and Andras will get the highest scores; Desire, Melody, and Calder will probably get comparably lower scores, with Calder's being the lowest. As for the alliance itself, I imagine there's going to be a lot of tension and rivalry, which is commonplace in most Career alliances. The fact they plan on recruiting another member/more members only adds to the possible tensions that could develop. I'm not sure who they'd pick, though.
Meanwhile, I imagine the anti-Careers should be a bit unstable as well, although I think it'll probably be the more stable alliance of the two. As for possible scores, as I said before, Andras will probably get quite a high score; Phi and Kalen will probably get high-average scores, while Marlee will probably have the lowest score of the alliance.
As for the Shiloh-Aedan-Noalee alliance, I think they'll remain fairly stable, for the most part. I imagine Shiloh could end up being highly dependent on Aedan and Noalee, which could have two kinds of results. One, he ends up sacrificing himself for them, or he loses them and ends up having some sort of breakdown. As for scores, I can't see any of them scoring high, although I don't see them going extremely low either.
The Knox-Lydia alliance should be fairly peaceful and friendly; I imagine they'll be together for a while, although they are both weaker tributes and in danger of dying in the bloodbath. I imagine they'll get mediocre scores, but they won't be extremely low.
And now I'll discuss the last alliance (Alyx and Rhain) and its possibilities. Their relationship seems similar to that of Knox and Lydia; they'll probably be together for a long time as long as neither of them die. I imagine they'll also get similar scores to those two as well.
And now to discuss the possible scores of the tributes who are currently loners...
Cathodra: Cathodra's score is probably going to be close to average; I know her strengths and weaknesses and I don't see her scoring especially high, although I could see her getting a somewhat higher score if she plays her cards right.
Elmo: Elmo's probably going to get an average or low score, to be honest. Although he's an intimidating pyromaniac, I don't think his ability to start fires will help make up for his weaknesses to impress the Gamemakers.
Barke: Barke's probably going to get an average score, although I could see him scoring a bit higher than others with "average" scores. He seems tough, but he doesn't have anything that will catch the Gamemakers' eyes.
Visca: If there's anyone I imagine getting a one in training this year, it's Visca. Her paranoia, fear, and stage fright will definitely lead to a poor performance before the Gamemakers.
Inez: I imagine Inez will probably get the lowest score out of all of the eighteen year old tributes, although I don't see her getting an extremely low score. She seems more focused on survival than weaponry, and her refusal to work with weapons will probably lead to a lower score.
Damien: Damien's probably going to get an average or high score; he seems strong, but he's certainly not an experienced fighter, although he seems interested in such things.
Eris: I imagine he'll get one of the lower scores among these tributes, although I don't see him getting an absolutely atrocious one.
Kyra: Like Eris, I imagine she'll get a lower score, simply because she's one of the weaker/younger tributes present this year.
Well, that's it for now. I'll be eagerly anticipating the next chapter of Training/Sessions/Scores that you've got planned; I'm looking forward to finding out how all of these tributes and their alliances develop.
| nb1998 4/21/13 . chapter 15
This chapter was great, each character is very original and unique in their own way and so far I really agree with some of the alliance choices that you are making.
Inez Carmen: I really do like Inez, she's a normal girl and her thoughts are those that probably reflect what most people would be thinking that had just been reaped. I didn't see her as the type to cry but if that's the way she gets through things then so be it. Her and Aedan's friendship is nice and it shows some district unity. I hope if they see each other in the arena they won't kill.
Melody Lark: I don't particuarly like Melody's psrsonality as she is someone I would definitely not get on with but the act she is playing is quite good. No-one will expect her to be such a sadistic person an if anyone was to it would probably be Andras. And that bit with Andras leaving the alliance was written really well when he just didn't say his name. Melody is nicely fading into the background of the career alliance and she's hardlys just got in, Sawyer will get a shock when she reveals her true colours. But will age matter?
Shiloh Tyne: Shiloh was one of my favourites from the reaping so it was nice to see a pov from him. I think he's doing really well.. he hasn't stressed out and in that edible plants teat thing he seemed to do well if that last question was anything to go by. Also with the whips he even did okay in the end and now he's got himself a nice, cool alliance in Aedan and Noalee? I'll be interested to see why Aedan suddenly wanted Noalee as well, maybe he's just that friendly..
Elmo Acoba: It was nicely written that there was a recurring theme of fire in this pov. I don't like the fact the pyromaniac has been overdone but that doesn't draw me away from the fact I like Elmo. He's really quite unique. Just his actions by trying to impress the careers showed me how different he can actually be but I like how fire is his.. source if you like. It's almost where he gets his ideas or inspiration. But the careers rejected him.. poor Elmo.. I guess he's not got an alliance then.
Lydia Fern: Lydia is probably one of the kindest and sweetest tributes I have seen in a syot. She just always seemed to be there for Knox in that pov and just by the way she was speaking I was thinking it was virtually impossible for Knox to reject. It shows how kind she is because Knox has already said he doesn't really want allies. I like the two of them alllying though because I do find them similar in a way.
Phi Pandit: Phi is a big threat and someone you definitely wouldn't want to come across in a dark alley. I like his attitude, he's going about in the right way to make people scared of him. This alliance he has joined seems strong, Andras, Marlee, Kalen and Phi.. hmm I can see this alliance going a few different ways. It just depends who dies early. His and Andras' interaction was the best and made me laugh. 'Pretty boy'.. haha.
Another great chapter!
| JabberjayHeart 4/21/13 . chapter 15
I really am starting to like Inez more. I find her character to be rather realistic, in a weird way, and like before I still find myself relating to her beyond years xD
She both wants to be true to herself and is polite and sweet, but she's also not against going hard to survive. That's a realistic outlook; anyone, in any position, would kill if their life depended on it, no matter how sweet and innocent. It's a common instinct. I find Inez to be the perfect proof of that. I still like her and Aedan, whose beyond adorable xD
... Melody annoys me. I don't like the whole sociopathic side she's playing, trying her hardest to ensure that her "outer" image isn't ruined, but so she's still deemed psychotic enough for the Careers. I just don't like her; I find her a little overdone at times, like she's trying too hard to make herself normal, which, could be part of her character - desperate to be hidden - but at times I want to slap her and be like "you'll get further for being openly sadistic".
THE CAREERS AND MY FEELS. They are going to be entertaining, I can tell. It won't just be bloodshed and fighting with them, they'll be banter and nasty jokes and rivalries and I'm so excited! Sawyer has really taken to her role well. Love her :') Desire is great, and I love the rivalry between Desire and Sawyer. Ainsley fades, but I see that more of the point that it just happening - he doesn't want to stand out. Cal is wonderful :') Andras leaving too, I'm shocked; like others, if I had to pick someone would leave, I would've assumed Cal but Andras is just as understandable. I pretty much like all Careers except Melody... though her name is pretty.
You capture my baby so well :') you understand his desperation and need for approval and friends. Aedan is genuinely the kindest person ever to pick Shiloh, and I can see them two getting on well, Aedan pulling Shiloh out of his hardened shell. Noalee was a good addition, too, I've always been interested in her.
Ugh. I don't like Elmo as much anymore. Before, he seemed badass and straight to the point, but now... now he's slightly pathetic. He's young, sure, but he talks about his differences a lot. Like, sure you're proud of deep red hair and eyeliner, but he mentions it so much that it's like Elmo is expecting people to notice him, like an attention-seeker. He has slowly but surely dropped on my list, becoming more and more pathetic. Joining the Careers wouldn't have worked either. I hold on hope for you, my little red friend.
Lydia and Knox was a good idea. I like them both; Lydia is sweet and caring, hippie lifestyle yo, whilst Knox is slightly downtrodden and seen as weak. It'd be a nice boost for him to have Lydia.
"Good luck, Knox!" I call out to the boy still working on getting up his net." - this made me really like Lydia for some reason. It showed a lot of her character and how genuinely nice and selfless she can be.
Lastly, Phi. The name still annoys me, but the character is interesting. He is probably the Careers biggest threat, and now he's joined the even bigger threat, the Anti-Careers. He's observant, watching the others and learning as to who is joining who. It shows that, whilst Phi's volunteering was ulterior motives, he is truly well-equipped for the Hunger Games.
Joining Andras, Marlee and Kalen was a good addition, and I didn't expect it. I imagined Phi on his own, but I can now imagine him as a backstabber to the group, or like a double-spy for the Careers and then a double-spy to the Careers for himself! Ugh. So many different ideas. I approve, Phi. Andras is awesome, and I remember Marlee as being someone who looked good... sadly, I don't remember much about Kalen, except the awesome last name.
Great chapter ;o
This is going to be intense.
| Cashmere67 4/21/13 . chapter 14
HEY CHAOS IN DA WAKE!
Knox Blake: I like him a lot more than his reaping, but I'm still not the biggest fan, you know? The whole thing with his Grandma's stories is still interesting because it shows how young he is. He believes in such stories and he follows the stories' morals and lessons. I like the mentor too, since she seems like she really cares for Knox and will try to help him, even though he's sort of helpless. He makes good points, and I think it makes for a good character. Eh, I think there isn't much more to him, though.
Barke St. Claire: Well, he was more tolerable in this chapter. I like the recaps of the reaping, because it shows Barke's opinions on tributes and who can be competition or not. He's a little ambivalent, though, and I'm not sure he even knows what he believes in. I want to see more character development, though, since I really feel like I don't know a lot about him yet. Like, I do, but I want to know more, I guess. More about his backstory and more of his opinions of others.
Kyra Montgomery: You always have to have that one bland, average, and one-dimensional tribute. That is Kyra. I think it was necessary, though, since her POV was laid-back and refreshing. There wasn't much to it, and it shows a lot about Kyra. I personally don't like Kyra, but I do feel bad for her and think her as a character is necessary. I liked the scenery and her descriptions about it. I like her internal thoughts, and all of it seems very genuine and like how a twelve-year old would actually think.
Desire Blanchard: You're perfect :3 Really, you're doing a wonderful job portraying her. You got the 'Teddy-Stamp-of-Approval,' which is rare, my dear. Keep up the good work (y)
BUT! Sawyer is annoying to a certain degree, even though I find her funny and she will be someone to look out for in the Games. The Careers are really interesting, since there are clashing personalities and no one seems to get along just yet.
Calder McCullin: YES! I still like him a lot. I like his whole laid-back, carefree, amiable personality. I liked his comments on the Careers - especially Desire - and how he feels about everyone. He's funny and adds some humor and calmness to the Careers. I can see him being a Career, since I can see him bringing in a lot of sponsors and whatnot. He might be the first Career death, though, which is unfortunate. I liked the outfits and everything, especially because Calder commented on everyone's and how he personally felt about them. Calder/Desire? I ship it.
Visca Martin: No
I liked all of the descriptions and commentary on the outfits and tributes, but I still don't like her. I'm not a fan of her overall personality. Just something about her. I don't have much to say about her, but I did like her few final lines. It was deep to the point that made me enjoy reading the POV. I like her internal thoughts and I like how she thinks that everyone is watching her, you know?
| arkanians 4/21/13 . chapter 15
I liked this chapter. The Gauntlet scenes were fun.
| nb1998 4/21/13 . chapter 14
So glad we're in the Capitol now and sorry for the late review. Your writing is really great and just by these few pov's so far I can tell there is going to be some interesting plots and alliances.
Knox Blake: I like Knox's attitude here, the way he stood up for himself against Rhian was definitely not something I expected him to do so maybe he'll shock me a bit more. I like the mentor, she seems like one who genuinely wants to help but Knox wants to work with her if he wants that to happen. Him remembering something about what his grandmother said was sweet and she's right, he can't trust anyone, everyone wants to go home.
Barke St. Claire: The majority of his pov was him just talking about the reapings but I think he's wrong just to mark off people because they don't look a threat, looks can be decieving and he should know that. I'm surprised he wants to not watch himself getting reaped as for sponsors I would think he would like to carry on the act of the boy without the shirt. I quite like how he's not too interested in allies, it shows he is wary of the consequences.. although poor Alyx, I highly doubt she'll be allying with all of them.
Kyra Montgomery: Awh district twelve are just so sweet this year, I really do feel sorry for the two of them. Twelve is definitely the most normal district this year and I would like to see at least one of them go far because they're so nice. I like the bonding between them and although I don't think they'll ally I think if they see each other in the arena they'll help each other out. Kyra's fear was shown really well here and the writing was great, I loved the line 'They are, in effect, cheering for our deaths.'
Desire Blanchard: I don't even know why I like this girl because normally I don't like District One females but recently each district one female I have read about I have liked. She actually makes me laugh, she's so vain but it makes good writing and she really does have her own personality. Beauty is clearly a big thing to her and it's shown really well through her opinions of others and what she looks like. I am interested to see what she's like as a fighter.
Calder Mccullin: I'm sorry but Calder annoys me so much.. his attitude is so stereotypical for a district four male and that isn't your fault, it's just the tribute that you've been given. I'm surprised he's even been let into the career alliance since he basically has no training and with someone like Desire choosing. I won't be surprised if the others get annoyed with him soon enough as Sawyer and Desire already have. Yeah, just.. I don't like him but I'm not going to like them all.
Visca Martin: For someone who doesn't want any attention on herself trying to run away from the chariot rides was a very stupid idea. That was a very unique plot though and you really have to feel sorry for her because you made her feel so afraid. I kind of hoped her and Shiloh would make an alliance but by the way she was thinking, I think she just wants to be alone and she might not have an alliance at all. Another great chapter.
| DA Member Hogwarts 4/21/13 . chapter 15
Aww Inez! I really like her for some reason... probably because Teddy has influenced me because he is obsessed with her as he thinks she is Nina Dobrev... yeah I don't even know LOL
But it was clear that she was trying to make the best of things and be positive but she is too realistic and sensible to do so and ends up feeling quite bitter... and she was reflecting once again on her sister and her way of life. Inez might be realizing that she did take her life too seriously and I wonder how she will further develop... hmmm
I really liked the end XD She tried so hard not to get attatched but can't seem to help it with Aedan. The ear-ring comment made me laugh LOL he really is an idiot.
Melody did seem more stable here than at the reapings and she was much more tolerable.
Of course Andras did capture most of my attention here! I'd have thought if anyone left the alliance it was to be Calder but it was way more surprising that it was Andras and it made a lot of sense.
Melody is still keeping up her act and it seems she is going to use Desire! Good! har har, Teddy.
And Sawyer LOL of course she is the leader. The rivarly between her and Desire is interesting and it makes a lot of sense as Desire likes to think of herself as the best and Sawyer has a very assertive and intimidating personality. I almost feel sorry for Desire as everytime she tries, Sawyer just knocks her down.
Shiloh is as adorable as ever! I agree that the alliance felt random hahaha but it made sense as Shiloh is shy and desperate for acceptance and Aedan would go around wanting to be friends with anyone and I'm so happy that Noalee is in the alliance as her and Shiloh are two of my favorites :D Ugh I am going to cry at this alliance :(
Awwh! And I loved the comment about Aedan not liking the whips because they hurt the horses. Why you have to make him so adorable ;_;
Anyway, Shiloh seemed pretty overwhelmed here but he is trying to be strong which is good and shows he could have some type of chance and now he has allies :D
Elmo... oh you and your fire. Get over yourself kid you are weak, 14 and wear eyeliner so stop trying to intimidate people and swear revenege haha.
Naw, I do think he is kind of a 'wild card' and that if the careers are underestimating him they might just be in for a shock as he is pretty crazy and he'd be ruthless in the arena, he'd try anything so maybe they shouldn't count him out.
I really was surprised by Andras allying with Marlee and I liked their conversation and his reasons for asking her. They'll be interesting for sure.
Poor Lydia. She really is too much of a fantasist and she is way too optimistic. I think her and Knox are perfect for each other and will be so adorable together ;_; an other alliance to make me die with emotions.
I liked how she just wanted someone to stay with and keep each other normal and protected as long as they could, that was realistic for her and how she is expecting to die but wants to just make the most of what she has left with a friend. Ugh, it's so depressing but really in character for someone like her.
And then Phi. He's so snappy and defensive and that kind of made me like him a bit more. I still find him ridicolous and a bit annoying but in truth I sort of liked him here. I like people who are kind of defensive and can stand up for themselves. LOL Everyone calling Andras 'pretty boy' XD
I'm surprised at this alliance- Andras, Phi, Marlee and Kalen. It's very random but at the same time it makes sense and I really think they'll be a strong alliance. Phi's last line was ominous but it just made me roll my eyes at him to be honest and I loved his reaction to Andras casually telling him he has a boyfriend LOL Phi is so insulting, 'and Kalen's not much of a looker either' LOL That kind of made me like him a bit more too.
ANYWAY! it was a really great training chapter XD All of the characters are coming along nicely and the alliances that were made were great- some just perfect and others surprising but I'm looking forward to seeing more of them all.
I liked the development in Andras's character the most. I hadn't really thought of him as being anti-capitol and a bit rebellious before but clearly he is and it's mainly because of his life and how he has been judged and I like that and surprisingly I'm starting to like Phi a little... what?
Great chapter ma gurl! Update in 8 minutes, k?
| Anla'shok 4/21/13 . chapter 15
Inez's part wasn't bland but it didn't wow me. Nevertheless, I like how she's trying to be kind and figure things out while still being scared. I liked the part with the uniform because it shows she's aware of the surroundings.
Melody's was predictable but well done. Andras stole the show here. I find Melody much saner than she appeared at the reapings. Sure, outwardly she should be 'sane' but her narration is a little bland.
*But he's just another threat to kill off now.*
Because before he was what?
Shiloh's desperation came through very well. The alliances sometimes seem random, like *Phew, he's nice, I'll go with him because otherwise I'd be alone*, and I'm not sure why Aedan would want Shiloh, but Shiloh's reactions were excellent.
Lydia is struggling with reality and that was done well. She doesn't know what she really wants because she thinks the mature thing is to accept her death but she wants someone laid back, but not too laid back, to be with. I think her and Knox are good together, but their alliance is also sad and a reminder of what the Games truly are.
Phi is very defensive and has the social graces of a troll but he's not stupid. I liked the way you portrayed him, as well as the fact he doesn't see why he should pretend to train. luckily for him Andras is not stupid either. I liked Phi's reaction to Andras' sexuality. The mix of WTF? and *shrug* was funny. And I like that they're not friends. They'll probably go far, but they might implode. I'll wait to see.
| Foxface5 4/18/13 . chapter 14
I loved Knox so much here :( You are making me fall in love with my tribute just like with Bay and ugh I'm sad already as I know his death will break my heart! I loved the thoughts on being a hero and how they can still be afraid D: bless you Knox I hope you will die as a hero in your own way, baby... likely not though.
I loved the conversation with Avia and also Knox's innocent thoughts on Rhain and how he'd liked to be her friend even if people don't seem to like her, you captured his slightly naivety there and also his stubborness in not wanting to be viewed as a kid XD over all you did so well in this section with him and I liked Rhain and Avia a lot though not so much Roxana! hah
Barke's views on each tribute seemed realistic though I didn't think he'd pick up that Melody was not to be trusted! I thought she had the whole innocent girl act down well (she seemed to fool Calder but perhaps Barke is more astute) though Barke didn't just seem to know straight away she was dangerous or acting (I hate when authors do that) he only said she didn't seem trustworthy! I liked Alyx here and how she tried to lighten the mood and Barke did like her but tried not to take her on too much, that felt in character for Barke!
Eris is so adorable! I'd like to maybe see him with Knox :') But Kyra, I must agree is very dull :( I hate to say that and I find most characters interesting in their own rights but in both her portrayals so far nothing stood out about Kyra and she seems to just view everything around her and none of her thoughts are overly gripping or refreshing but nice job with her fear and realization of the enemy (being the Capitol) at the end :)
I liked Desire's internal annoyance and sarcasm toward the prep team but of course she was sweet and polite outwardly. I also thought her thoughts and reactions really explained her further as a character along with how she acted with the careers at the chariots! She is very organized and overly controlling and is already taking it all so seriously, maybe too seriously. It is sad how much emphasis she puts on looks but that does make her interesting.
I do quite like Calder but truly I prefer careers to be well more career like. Well Calder isn't truly a career is he? He didn't volunteer or take training too seriously and his attitude is new and quite cool to read but it does get sickening XD I did like how Sawyer reacted to him and how nothing seem to faze him.
And Visca was a good choice to show the actual event of the Chariot Rides and her little panic attack and attempted escape were all very appropriate. I do quite like her in a way as she's realistic in the way she is so overly socially awkward and paranoid but still I find her a little... too much? I still can't get over the whole nose thing and how she her whole character seems to be built around garnaring sympathy :') I don't know... but I did like how she was portrayed here and some of the outfits sounded awesome!
I know it hasn't been so long since you update but please update soon XD