|Reviews for Eyes|
| BrokenDownLilAngel 5/25/13 . chapter 26
I believe you did a wonderful job with this fanfiction! Yes L was a little off from how he is in the manga/anime, but that's perfectly okay. I mean how boring would it be if every L fanfic we ever read had L portrayed perfectly? I mean the way you portray characters is unique to you and you alone. Plus it's what makes your fanfic stand out from the rest! I truly loved this story and am excited to read the sequel.
| NonieBee 5/21/13 . chapter 26
The story was beautiful! And whoever swnt the hate reviews needs to get a freaking life! Srsly your portrayal of L was brilliant! I must admit that i think you could have put more in there, maybe some dialoge between her and shinigamis.. i unno, BUT it was still awesome!
If you feel bad about it do a rewrite and publishe as a NEW story, have the same start and different ending, if you do make sure to fill it out! The whole concept of ur oc having shinigami eyes is epic, i think that you could have adressed iit more... What i do in my story is, i reread the last few chapters befor writing an neew one, it helps with concistancies and stuff. I must admit i havnt read the sequel yet but thats what im gonna do now.
As for the haters... Because you are writing for such a popolar anime you will have readers that have very strong opinions, i never had that oroblem (i write for gintama )
Oh and if any o those pooheads hate mail you again, feel free to message me :D my inbox is always open n.n
| NonieBee 5/21/13 . chapter 18
Just wanna say i see a few auto correct mistakes.. i hate thise damn things, the mistakes that spellcheck cant find D: i LIVE on spellcheck!
Anyhoo LxK soo cuuute! I must admit this is the first multichapter LxOc fic iv read but i recon its probly one of the best :D
| NonieBee 5/21/13 . chapter 17
I think you need to go through and reread your work.. there are alot of inconcistancies, originally you said 2008 and now 2004... There are a few other things as well. The story on the otherhand is brilliant, tbough i think it seems a little rushed, like you skipped over stuff or something, maybe its just me wishing that it went forever n.n anyhoo i gonna read more now!
| NonieBee 5/21/13 . chapter 10
Haha you write how you talk, i do that too except instead of "ya" my silly thing is "gonna" as in "going to" and "wanna" as in want to
I love your little auther notes they make me smile! :D
| NonieBee 5/21/13 . chapter 8
So she can hear ryuk? O.o interesting, only ppl who have touched the deathnote can see him usually :P sorry ill try to not spam you with a million reviews x.x
*once again continues to read*
| NonieBee 5/21/13 . chapter 5
I think you have writen L really well :D i love him he is perfect!
is a douche! :D
| NonieBee 5/21/13 . chapter 4
Hmm in truth i think that L would have used an alius liiike riuzaki, or hideki ryuga (sorry bout spelling) i think he would still be suspicious of her.
But thats just my opinion :p *continues to read*
| NonieBee 5/21/13 . chapter 3
Hey i just noticed part way through that you wrote them instead of thumb its a bit after when she was cpunting her age :D normaly i would ignore minor mistakes like that but you asked for us to point them out.
So far story is reaallly interesting, cant wait to see what happens next *continues to read*
| Deception is Decepticon 5/10/13 . chapter 26
Tis alright, every author and experienced writer has had a fair share of these types of reviews...but I don't see what you are getting so worked up about. Sure, your story recieved a review upon which the truth was revealed to you, everything WAS out of place and different to the story line, but that simply calls for your attention, all you had to do instead of writing your heart out on this AN was go back, re-read your story, research your character (I believe there is a wonderful new complilation of informantion on Death Note Wikia) and get a BETA reader.
Every willing BETA reader is out there waiting for you to contact them with your concerns, and even if you have no concerns have another person just read it over. Its completely anonymous, so the chances of you giving your story to a friend is completely unlikely.
Yes, there has been the ugly truth in the words of one reviewer, but they have been the kindest any reviewer could have been to you, they told you that there was something in this story that wasn't right, all you had to do was take it in step and fix it.
No writer enjoys it, I must admit, but toughen up. We all suffer from it, but we all gain experience from it and learn to please the audience more.
| Radiant Innocence 5/3/13 . chapter 13
L is completely OOC in this story. I find it unbelievable that her eyes were only just mentioned. It clearly wasn't planned, and was randomly thrown in to make the character more interesting.
There are many errors in this story, and many aspects are highly unbelievable and random. I think it would have had more promise if things were taken MUCH slower. Being a victim of horrible abuse, she wouldn't automatically trust some random guy...Especially one like L. He has little to no social skills, and he is not a comforting person. I like stories where L does end up being able to love, but is taken to that point with an effective and believable story line. (I agree with WhiteLadyDragon on your take on L. Although she was harsh, she did raise some valid points. As an author also, I never appreciate a flame. I believe it is flat out rude, and I respect all authors and the effort they put into their writing. I hope I'm not being too harsh, or being mean in any way.)
I hope this doesn't constitute as a flame. I'm not trying to be hateful or insulting. I'm giving, hopefully, constructive criticism. Like I said, I believe this story would have more potential if more time was taken, errors were fixed, and their relationship was based on something believable.
I recommend, at the very least, a beta to edit this story. Not only that, but I believe a rewrite is needed here. A rewrite with much more detail, that builds a solid foundation for their relationship. I hope I did not offend you, as I said, that wasn't my intention. I'm simply giving you my honest opinion, in hopes that it will somehow be of some help to you in your future writing.
Good luck in your future writing, and if you continue to write LxOC, I'm sure I will be reading it. Seeing as most stories are LxLight, I read every LxOC story I come across.
| TheOutcast4 4/22/13 . chapter 26
I think this Fanfiction was really good
Ignore the people who say its bad
Be happy like Matsuda
Except don't shoot someone
| Kawaii-Attack 4/9/13 . chapter 26
I loved this fan fiction I don't usually comment on stories but this story definitely deserved it! The story was cute very cute and I loved it! You should ignore the idiots who insulted the ending. I mean obviously I couldn't end like that! I mean the last sentence. So yeah whoever said anything bad about this awesome story must've been drunk when they wrote that
| Guest 4/5/13 . chapter 26
Hey, your story is great! I love the characters! And you really know how to write L. But i thing they relationship is moving too fast. But either way this is great story!
| shushu422 4/6/13 . chapter 26
Personally I don't think you should delete this story...I think you should continue it lol
But if you aren't confident with the story it might be better to just redo some parts