|Reviews for Return to Mu|
| Thrudgelmir2333 3/3/13 . chapter 3
Sorry I took so long to review this part. I had to go back and check your version at Sesa because I was pretty sure you expanded the story in this part and did some rearrangements upon my first reading.
Anyway, I have to admit I felt myself cringing a little when Mu and Shaka "discovered" the remains of the continent, but that's okay because my opinion of the scene completely changed once I got to the "Palm part", not to give out any spoilers. It had nothing to do with the writing itself, but it just felt a bit wish-granting to see them just stumble upon something many before Mu failed to discover, but, as I said, the "wish-granting" feeling I got just made the reveal much more awesome and poignant to me.
I feel strangely fascinated with Kiki's obsession surrounding the anime show. I just can't take my eyes off that paragraph because I keep trying to figure out just what exactly is enchanting him so much and why. As for it being the story's new finale, I actually like it better, since it was adapted into a better ending and closure for Mu's desire to return to Mu. I just got a much better feeling that he was moving on in this version.
As for the story's objective, you presented a very good emotional ride for Mu throughout the story as well as enough involvement from Shaka. I'm not a Yaoi fan, but I'm able to abstract myself enough from that to enjoy the dynamic between the two of them. Then again, the story's relatively sex-free when opposed to some other yaoi fics. If it weren't for a couple of parts that showed some sexual tension between the two characters, mainly from Shaka's part, I could actually even interpret it as a normal story of friendship and support.
Finally, the story overall is a really nice piece of work. I really enjoyed it. It didn't feel as crazy as you had warned me because I'm used to your Mu and you present a fairly normal version of him at first that prepares new readers to his weirdness well.
| Thrudgelmir2333 2/9/13 . chapter 2
Mu and Shaka both have been feeling a lot more human than they did in your old story, specially Mu. He feels a lot more approachable while retaining enough "weird" traits. I especially liked that comparison between Shaka's lack of materialism and Mu's abundance of it. There are a lot of lines in this story from both of them referencing this that I really liked. Moreover, I was touched by Mu asking Shaka if he thought he was weird in the flashback. He sounded like someone really lonely.
The initial scene reminded me of a couple of images I found in deviant art of Shaka playing sitar. It actually looked like an instrument that fitted him for some reason.
Structurally speaking, it was a good chapter. I liked the placement of the flashbacks and how they relate to the conversations in the present. I can feel the angst increasing within Mu as I read about him remembering those moments.
| Thrudgelmir2333 2/8/13 . chapter 1
I really liked this introduction. I could instantly tell you were referencing Aldebaran's flower flashback. Still, my favorite part was the discussion between Julian and Mu, not so much for the conversation itself and its dynamics, but more because it was a good set up for the emotional conflicts Mu goes throughout this story.
One of the first things that hinted to me that this one was your story was it starting with something that seemingly didn't have anything to do with what the summary/next chapter description promised, but then went on to become important for the overall chapter. Maybe this is a common writing technique, but something about the way it was written just screamed at me it was your doing.
The second thing was the characterization of the characters. I don't mean Mu being weird (I had pretty much nailed your identity by the time I reached that part), but more like the laid back writing. I don't think many writers are comfortable with writing certain characters so I just knew that whoever was writing the chapter either had a lot of experience writing with them or really good interpretive and writing skills.
Content-wise, I particularly liked Poseidon's quips about neutrality and the number of cloths, as well as the clear ruthlessness in his words as he describes. You can tell he enjoys torturing Mu and that he's not Athena's friend.
My exams and project are over so I'll be able to review the other chapters soon:)
Do your best
| Juu98264 1/19/13 . chapter 1
It looks promising. Please post next chapter soon!
| bronze andromeda shun 1/19/13 . chapter 1
OMG, Jenny, welcome back! I missed you!
This story looks really good, I can't wait to read more. Love the golds, keep up the good work, please!