i liked the story a lot you should keep on writing
i really flowed easily

A really interesting premise and a nice start, but there's something about this that definitely feels rushed. I think the idea of this crazy character group trying a...'harem route' is an interesting idea and it will definitely be a lot of fun to see how that turns out.

That being said, I think you're going way too fast. It seems like they're just jumping straight to this. The idea that all of the girls are just agreeing to this set up so easily feels odd. Other than that the grammar is good, I don't think I saw any obvious typos or anything of that sort. The only other thing that sticks out like a sore thumb for me is that you have Moka simply tell both the girls and us, the readers, about the scene with Tsukune at the lake. That sounds like an amazing emotional scene, and a great opportunity to show what Tsukune's most inner feelings and thoughts are towards each of the girls individually as well as a collective. It's just my suggestion, but I think it would do wonders for your opening chapter for you to write that out.

Keep up the great work and I can't wait to read a few more chapters. I don't think I've ever seen a fanfic that actually goes with a harem scenario.

amazing can't wait for the next Chapter ;) REDDAETH

angle beats is asome

Need moreeeeeeee!, i need more this fanfic is epic I NEED MOREEEEEE!

I liked this chapter, there wasn't anything wrong with it most of the time. Polar bears and Snow fairies, hmm...I wonder if they can coexist. Anyways, as always, nice work :) I especially loved the parts where Mizore got pranked with a heat sucker.

It is nice that you are keeping the tension in the story.

can u add kokoa to the harem

were is the rest

No offense but I hate the idea of all of them instead of one reasons are ruby is well u know. Mizore is to stalker and will be wondering where he was 24 is really annoying and to young I mean 12 year old with a 17 year old. Kurumu is to needy and if she kisses him he will become a slave.i think moka is the right one

Awesome! that was just an incredible I need to see what happens next!

Nice story. I hope you keep writing more for it. I'd hate to see you stop after getting so far with it.

I think I know what that last part says, but I think I'm wrong. I could look it up, but that would be cheating. Anyways, I felt a little awkward when I read that Kurumu was watching them have sex. That and falling off my chair when I read that Gin was touching her boobs in front of San. All in all, nice work.

In my opinion this story is terribly rushed. Try to do over chapters you wrote and make them at least tree times as long and detailed.

Who is mext