|Reviews for Escapades|
| ChemicalDarkness 1/27/13 . chapter 1
This was a really good first story! I found it very cute :) and I have to agree with it; I think that Sweeney would eventually fall for Mrs. L, even if it angered him to realize it.
Just a couple things to watch for:
Run on sentences. Instead of listing off four or five different things in a single sentence, make multiple sentences or find a different way to phrase it.
Find other words for "love", since you used it a ton. It just varies it up and makes it sound prettier
Don't use slashes (ex: to/of). I don't think I've ever read a book that uses those, so maybe just find a different way to phrase the sentence.
Good luck with further writings! :)
| thelovelyflorencelovett 1/25/13 . chapter 1
I loved it, It was beautiful and emotional!
| ElisaRHBC 1/25/13 . chapter 1
Good! Very nice *u*
| Gilly.Flowers 1/25/13 . chapter 1
I liked it! It's cute how messed up Sweeney is sometimes, XD I like how the beginning is worded, it's so beautiful, but I think it'd be better and all easier to read if you put semi-colons an' those stypid little line thingys in there, hold on, I'll show you what I mean! -
'' That time where everything's quiet and what matters is just the two of them; body (bodies, maybe?) joint (-And 'joined?') together; one looking forward to another night of satisfying him- the other looking forward in receiving satisfaction from her.''
Like that, see? I hope I'm helping :3 Thank you for posting this, it's adorable!