|Reviews for Shattered|
| ploring 6/1/13 . chapter 1
Your writing is good but this storyline unbelievable... way to out of character for the guys to act this way.
| Guest 2/1/13 . chapter 1
This was a tear jerker type story. Great plot line. I'm glad it all worked out in the end. :O)
| Kelmin 1/30/13 . chapter 1
Your story is well constructed, and most of the mechanical aspects are sound. The accident is believable-a horse spooking at the presence of a snake could certainly happen, and it would be a hard decision in that situation, for the one adult present, about whether to send a child for help or go himself.
Things that didn't work for me are that even though the story seemed to be trying to be true to the show, I can't picture the characters behaving the way they did towards Johnny. I think the story would be stronger if there were palpable tension amongst the crew; unspoken feelings, rather than instant hatred because of something that was clearly an accident. The really fast change from hostility back to best-of-friends also seemed forced. I totally dig what you were trying to do-put JOhnny in an impossible position-which you did-but everyone got out of character in the process.
Maybe I'm sappy, and I know this is fanon and not canon, but I always like seeing Johnny with Roy's kids. Yeah, okay, I'm sappy.
Keep on writing!
| Guest 1/29/13 . chapter 1
What a great, "Emergency" story. You certainly capture the camaraderie between these wonderful characters. Thanks!
| Voluspa 1/30/13 . chapter 1
Oh dear, poor baby Johnny and all those 'mean girls' at the station and mean old Roy booting him out of the only family he's ever known - boohoohoo.
Wow Roy's more concerned with berating Johnny than the condition of his son. Even if you buy into the notion that Roy would behave that way, he would have verbally berated Johnny later, not as soon as he arrived on the scene of his son's accident. The other guys at the station behaving in such a manner towards Johnny is so far-fetched. Firemen are trained professionals and would never act that way. Then theirs saintly Johnny forgiving everyone at the end. Such typical Glory to Johnny Gage fodder it makes one puke.
Of course, any story that begins with one of Roy's kids getting hurt while under Johnny's care always follows this line. Not original, totally predictable, and disrespectful to the show and characters to have them behave in such a manner.
| Piscean6724 1/29/13 . chapter 1
Nice job! Keep it up!
| Hank'sLadyLove 1/29/13 . chapter 1
Good story. I've been riding horses since I was a teenager (I'm in my 40's now) and know first-hand how unpredictable they can be. I can't even COUNT how many times I have been, bucked off, stepped on, nipped. etc. And there's ALWAYS something new to learn about them. If someone tells you they know "everything" about horses, they are a fool!
| sandybeliever 1/29/13 . chapter 1
This is a great second story - keep writing! :)
| hotshow 1/29/13 . chapter 1
I thought this story was perfect. Thank you.