|Reviews for Memoria|
| Edhla 5/3/13 . chapter 6
Things are still quietly ominous, and I really like that you're not rushing things along to get to the inevitable. I had a bit of trouble with this chapter, mainly the beginning part. I should warn you that any song lyrics you didn't write yourself are forbidden on the site, even if you attribute them to the person who *did* write them. Someone tried to sue the site a few years ago, and they were nixed. I'd seriously consider removing them, because I've known authors who've had their fics removed without warning over it.
Apart from that, the song lyrics and the singing didn't really work for me on an emotional level- I can see what you were trying to convey, but the power of music is in the... well, the music. It's nearly impossible to convey in text. I'm sure there are other ways to get your point across :)
The end of the chapter was the high calibre of the rest of your fic, of course :) Good luck. x
| Edhla 5/3/13 . chapter 5
With spring came climate change. I mean that in more than one way. - excellent line, and the last one, which is poignantly sad.
| Edhla 5/3/13 . chapter 4
"Gladiator" was completely adorable and I love how you show Kat and Haru bonding over having fun in the snow (even if I know tragedy is about to strike!) These chapters are very short and the story seems a little rushed for them to be declaring one another BFFs, but again, that's only my perspective, and I'm really enjoying this. Nicely written :)
| Edhla 5/3/13 . chapter 3
Cute scene, again, in the cafeteria, as another nitpick, I wouldn't normally describe brownies as "savory", but if that's what you meant, then that's what you meant :)
Although I went to high school in Australia, I suppose these kinds of HS experience are pretty universal, because much of this rings true to me. I'm liking what you're doing with Kat and Haru's characters.
| Edhla 5/3/13 . chapter 2
"Routine day." You could not pay me to be back in high school. For real.
"Wrong class!" - undeniably nitpicky of me, but I'm wondering if there's some solid way you can convey *how* they realised they were going to the wrong class?
"Some even stayed a while..." I wouldn't believe it if I hadn't seen a similar thing happen when I was at school.
"Hey, you ok?" And all it takes is one person to bother asking this, really.
"Bigger this time." - this turn of phrase seemed a little awkward to me.
Cute second chapter! :)
| Edhla 5/3/13 . chapter 1
What a beautiful and well-written chapter. I'm not familiar with the fandom so I can't speak to whether everyone's in-character and so forth, but this was stylish and moving. Thank you for writing x
| Distillation 4/5/13 . chapter 5
What might happen in the next chapter is kinda fixed to me after I read the chapters :)
| SIXSHOT6 3/13/13 . chapter 1
great story, cant wait for the next chapter!
| fansgirl 2/11/13 . chapter 1
i want to know Haru story