Reaaly D: poor POOR hollyleaf. I have no idea why but the whole conversation about their neighbors was funny lol :P

Ooh, LionXHeather! How old are they in this story?

Wow Ashfur is invisible to everyone except Hollyleaf. That sucks :(

Okay, so Hollyleaf knows what happened to Ashfur, but she didn't kill him. Now he's making her seem schizophrenic by appearing out of nowhere? Bad Ashfur! Don't drive Hollyleaf insane!

So Hollyleaf killed Ashfur... what's her reason this time?

Whoa, murder guy is like back from the dead. Oh, no, Hollyleaf!

Pleeeazzzz, this is HORROR!
AHHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHA HAHAHAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHH

I see that your French (since you said that in your profile lol) and its probably hard to write an English story. Try using this- ", instead of the dash mark when someone is speaking. For example: "Hi."

I like this story, and if you need any help with any kind of English writing please PM if you want, I wouldn't mind helping. Anyways please continue! :)