|Reviews for In a Fathers footsteps|
| lavender spring 4/24/13 . chapter 1
I like the start to this story : ) It sounds like it's going to be detailed and interesting.
| Guest 4/21/13 . chapter 1
Nice story! Would love to see some updates.
| Seitora 4/20/13 . chapter 1
I enjoyed the introduction with Bel Tine and the fight between Haran and Tam, and Tam's various thoughts throughout. Yours doesn't quite match the writing style of Robert Jordan's, but it stands well on its own.
It seems to weaken a touch once Tam and Rand get home and Tam starts telling his story. His storytelling seems laser-focused on plot-relevant details, and that's disjarring to me to read. He should throw in a couple of anecdotes here and there, like details about Rand's (supposed) grandparents on his mother's side, assuming Tam ever met them, or perhaps a description of a court encounter as Lord al'Thor, or even spin off his encounter with the blademaster he defeated as a separate tale instead of just one line in his recollections.
I'm not quite sure about Tam outright telling Rand he's not his real father, though. Yes, you drove home that Tam doesn't lie, but that doesn't mean he has to tell all, since Rand is _eight_ years old right now, which could have just as easily led to existenial angst for him. He could just as easily have left out the detail about finding Rand on Dragonmount. He could just have talked about walking around the mountain among the corpses of the Defenders and Aiel and mentioning how the battlefield after a battle is a terrible sight to see, and then parlay that into an Aesop about how the fighting had to be done anyways and have Rand want to learn swordplay from there.
| Swanboy 4/20/13 . chapter 1
looking forward to more
| ShotgunWilly 4/17/13 . chapter 1
I kinda like seeing alternate WoT starts like this one. This is a pretty good start. On the topic of the revelation: I've seen worse reasons for similar stuff, so you can count that as a win, I think. It's a believable enough reason anyway. I thought the story and reveal to Rand could have been done a bit better though. I can't help but think you portray Rand as knowing more of the world than is realistic for an 8 year old boy in the Two Rivers - heck, your Rand seems to have more background knowledge (such as Illian's Laurel Leaves) than the canon Rand did at age 20 in The Eye of the World. I don't expect you to go back and change anything - I just wanted to let you know that you're pushing the limits on my willing suspension of disbelief (to use a TVtropes term).
Do keep in mind, however, that background knowledge of the One Power which may be trivial for us readers isn't commonly known among the common citizens in the Wheel of Time's setting - at least not in the Two Rivers. Tam might know better, sure, but it was made abundantly clear that Rand didn't know very much at the beginning of EotW. Perhaps now that Tam's told Rand of his adoption and agreed to teach him the blade, that would be corrected, but... *shrug* It's something to keep in mind for the future - maybe you can ret-con something if you care enough.
Well, whatever. It's really just nitpicking on my part and it doesn't irritate me enough to not want to see more of this, so I look forward to your next update!
| bandgsecurtiyaw 2/23/13 . chapter 1
Very good stuff.
| oraccio 2/21/13 . chapter 1
I have just read you masterpiece of fanfiction I beg you to continue to update and continue this story so many writers abandon the wheel of time fanfictions due to lack of readers. You are correct in the assumption that there is no other body of fictional work that quite matches up to the wheel of time in depth and breadth of storyline. But the sword of truth series if you are interested is a very good read and I think you would enjoy it if you haven't already. It is written by Terry Goodkind who is a phenomenal writer as well. Anyway thankyou for your addition and I am going to read your other works due to this masterpiece.
| tapionwarroir 2/20/13 . chapter 1
update soon please
| djgd 2/13/13 . chapter 1
Rand getting different start to story is always interesting and I have been thinking about different possibilities many times. I know this is AU and none of this really matters in AU setting, but anyways just to let you know that someone is reading here is few of my thoughts.
First thing... at the beginning you mentioned red-tiled roofs... I'm pretty sure there was no red-tiled roofs in emonds field at that time. I know it's minor thing and even I can't think why I noticed it.
Haral training with sword felt really out of place and fight with real swords againts beginner even more so. And two rivers people knowing what blademaster is.. They were pretty isolated bunch.
I know you tried to make series understandable for everyone, but Rand's pov was wrong way to do it. I think he was too developed for eight year old. For example kid that old should not know much about things that happened 3500 years ago and it was not necessary to explain all that at this time... even if he had heard the story it should be alot less accurate. Making it understandable for everyone is nice, but I wonder how many people who have not read the series will find and read this story.
Making Tam lord and getting some illian award is a bit unnecessary in my opinion... his whole story feels little unnecessary for me. I would have been fine with just X years old Rand leaving emond's field to see the world only with few clothes and sword. I really did not need to know why Rand got to learn sword... atleast not this soon in story.
Mr blademaster... About this I'm not sure at all... but pretty sure that they don't use that honorific in randland.. "master" is alot more common atleast. Also Rand using that honorific was in my opinion out of place.
While I do like your writing style it does not feel completely right for wheel of time. Can't quite point my finger on it, but there is something...
Sorry for giving pretty much only negativ-ish feedback, but that is usually way I review here I tell more about things that bugged me than things that I liked... it was not really all that bad so I hope you will not be discouraged to continue this.
| Guest 2/13/13 . chapter 1
| r1ncewind1 2/14/13 . chapter 1
pretty good, although rand seems a bit too knowledgeable about the world for an eight-year-old.
Have you decided how old rand will be when he leaves to travel the world? I would assume at least before he is twenty since that is the age where he originally leaves with moiraine?
Will he be a blademaster before he leaves?