|Reviews for Mentor|
| mangesboy01 6/4/13 . chapter 7
I really liked this chapter. I too like that the career alliance isn't the typical districts 1,2 and 4, but I'd have to ask too, what is up with the girl from 1, and why isn't she will Gabriel? Also, I really like the alliance Alec has going as of right now, but I have a feeling that Marline and Ashe will be trying to take them down, which will most likely result in a canon or two,
| richards25 6/4/13 . chapter 7
I also really liked this one to. I like how the careers are not the normal big alliance, that makes things so competitive. One question, who is the girl from one with? But I really enjoyed it, it was a good read. I am so looking forward to the games! :D
| MJElliot 6/1/13 . chapter 5
Cato familly- always surprising :)
| MJElliot 6/1/13 . chapter 4
I like how this time you make Ludo more analytical. He was always strategic, but now I see the difference in how he sees things. I also like the fact that you show the interaction between mentors- it's something I've always wondered about when reading the books. Good job!
| MJElliot 5/27/13 . chapter 2
interesting way of choosing the tributes...though i kind of imagined the Capitol would have had some rule about these kind of situation...
| richards25 5/22/13 . chapter 6
This is really good again! :D I think that if Alec doesn't make it, then it will hit Ludo hard :/ Good chapter, I like to see how the parade effect their sponsorship and his reflection of who could win. So yep, another great chapter :D
| mangesboy01 5/21/13 . chapter 6
Amazing Chapter! I was rather intrigued by Marline in this chapter...also, the boy from 7, Vincent seems promising as does the small boy from 9, Harold, which may look weak ,but if he has sponsors then who cares, because they'll keep him alive. I also believe that both of District 1 tributes will have potential this year so I'm eager to hear more about them!
(I thought highly of Ludo for rejecting the party offer, shows he takes his job seriously)
| Vykktor 5/21/13 . chapter 6
Nicely done, as always. I would've liked a bit more of a description on the tributes' costumes, but that's minor. There was a paragraph in which around four or five consecutive sentences started with the word "the", and you also missed some capital letters. Both of these are also minor errors. I'm looking forward to see more of the boys from 7, 9, and 10.
| Violagirl23 5/21/13 . chapter 6
Nice chapter! I liked that we got to see the competition. If I had to guess, I'd say the final fight would be amethyst vs. Alec, with Alec winning.
Can't wait to read more Alec next chapter!
| Vykktor 5/17/13 . chapter 5
I definitely like Amadeus. The old man seems to be a pretty cool dude. I must say, though, Sextus is a bit... odd. Not very much like Cato in Hunger Games. It makes me wonder if something else tragic happens between now and the 74th games.
| mangesboy01 5/12/13 . chapter 5
Amazing Chapter! You truly are an excellent writer. Alright, so I really like this chapter (a lot, especially the bit with Cato), but I have a few critiques/suggestions. :)
-This paragraph was confusing-["I was really worried that she was going to just give up." "I was, too," says Finnick. "Especially when she started telling me that everyone that she knew that was worth living for was dead. She has nothing left in life for her to live for."]
You should always start a new paragraph when you change speakers. ( I believe you know that)
"I was really worried that she was going to just give up."
"I was too," says Finnick , "Especially, when she started telling me that everyone worth living for was now dead, and that she simply wanted to be dead too."
(I know that's a little bit more dramatic, but I feel something along the lines of that would flow better)
-I would suggest revising this sentence, or adding in some transitions (commas or conjunctions) or omitting some words-[I watch the young boy walk away for a few moments before turning and letting myself get absorbed in the atmosphere of the moment.]
[I watch the young boy walk away, before turning and letting myself get absorbed in the atmosphere of the moment.]
-Happy Writing :)
| mangesboy01 5/12/13 . chapter 4
Great Chapter! I like how we're seeing the aftermath of the arena. Meaning, Ludo's thought process about the games, and the emotions that came with them. He seems to have changed, which isn't a surprise, because almost all tributes change once they've become victor.
Also, I like the relationship between Alec and Ludo. They seem to genuinely get along, maybe Alec can pull out another win for District 4.
Marline. I feel bad for her (because of the way she found out Nathan was dead), but at the same time, I haven't really developed a liking for her character.
I think you meant victor, lol -[Lilac Turner had been the daughter of an arena]
| mangesboy01 5/11/13 . chapter 3
Anther Amazing Chapter!
I like how you did it in Alec's POV that was different, but I remember you telling me that this story would be different!
This made me laugh. :) I think you meant block-[ I black out the cheering of the crowd as Foster charges at me, fists raised.]
Is Marline really that emotionless?
| mangesboy01 5/8/13 . chapter 2
Another Amazing Chapter. You really are a talented writer. I can't get enough of the backstory you've built.
I would suggest revising this-[Still, I know they were full of respect for me and Finnick surfing the Games.]
[His family do well enough.]-Change to-[His family does well enough.]
I like this dialogue ,but I think you meant looking not liking :)-["I'll do it," I say. "I've not done it before, so I'll give it a go." To be honest, that's only a half-truth. I would like to see what life as a mentor is like, but really, I'm liking for an excuse to leave District 4. Even though District 4 is my home, I don't feel like I fit in here anymore. Not since the Games. A month away will do me some good.]
Loved this paragraph-[I'm shocked by her decision. Yes, she was a Career, but surely she'd have wanted to wait another year? There is nothing stopping anyone from volunteering, but generally only the chosen Career does. I can see Rose Ellis in the eighteen-year-olds section, her face a picture of shock and fury. If she wanted to volunteer, she's missed her chance. I guess she didn't expect Marline, the girl she defeated for a chance to become tribute, would dare to volunteer. I have to admit, I didn't expect it either. Then again, it's her death wish, not mine.]
Nice way to end the chapter! Fight? Well, I don't know much about Nathan, but Alec is suppose to be strong so my money is on him, but then again Alec would be the obvious so Nathan might have a chance.
| richards25 5/8/13 . chapter 5
Ahh cato! That was nice! :D I love see how mentors do things, after all we never saw how it actually worked. So I love to see everyone's interpretations :) I really like yours! Ahh marline, not doing too well! Cant wait to see what happens! :D