i'm sorry i'm being so harsh, but another thing, Dean Thomas was muggle born! Harry wouldn't have to explain what the pants were for!

and when listing the thing he needs, start a new line! i almost skipped the end of this chapter just because of the way is it written!

oh, i know that you are done with this fic, but i have noticed several flaws already in the 1st chapter!

first of all, in the 1st paragraph, it would be Harry's, not Harries. the later would be the plural form and the earlier would be possesive.

and second, everytime, EVERYTIME someone else speaks, YOU START A NEW PARAGRAPH! it is really annoying when you have to strain to read that long paragraph, and to have to try and figure out who the heck is talking!

i know that is been awhile since you wrote this, but do you know when and if you are going to finish this story..i really did enjoy it up to this point...thank you

This is a quite unusual story. The first I read in fact where the light side tries to form a real army. However I agree with some other reviewers that the many code names are a bit : Who is Hunter? How old is Jack? Why revolvers and not pistols? Why are all the remarkable fighters male? And lastly: Are you ever going to update or is the story abandoned?

liked it very much! love to read more!

Hey! why have you stopped writing this story? I love it

your chapter 15 doesn't load at all will email you after I have read the story

its real asome keep going

love it!

tiny bit better, but you do need to work on your paragraphs. ie:

"Do I know you?"

"No, you don't Mr Dursley." Harry's eyes snapped up.

At one point you changed from 3rd person to first - that's also a mistake. Sorry to be picky but it makes it a lot easier, and you probably should get a checker.

No paragraphs make it extreamly confusing and headachey. A few typos and assorted mistakes - i know i haven't finished, but i saw this in your other one (where harry is an aprentice). I suggest someone to look over your work.

Loved it! can't wait for the next chapter.

You REALLY need some paragraph breaks in there.

GREat STORY, i know it has been a while since you have updated, but if you read this can you please Update, i will help you if you need it. thanks

LB