|Reviews for The 38th Annual Hunger Games!|
| AvalonJackson21 4/9/13 . chapter 17
So if I want Avalon to have sponsers... I just talk about her every time I review? I'm confused. :/ Please PM to explain!
| Chucklez-Lives-On 4/8/13 . chapter 17
Sorry I haven't R&R before this, I was really busy.
Now I have some constructive critiscm, mostly about grammar. (I find it easier to follow when the story has fewer gramatical errors).
I do believe "Peacekeepers" and "Capitol" should be capitalized. ;)
"Why have you volunteered son." should be "Why have you volunteered, son?"
"Oh really, well I think he is just being rude and selfish. Who shouldn't you get fame a riches... I will have my big hunky sexy boyfriend, and I can help you spend your winnings and we could live like royalty. Who wouldn't want that".
"Oh, really, well, I think he is just being rude and selfish. Why shouldn't you get fame and riches?... I will have my big, hunky, sexy boyfriend, and I can help you spend your winnings, and we could live like royalty. Who wouldn't want that?" is what it should be.
You also have simple mistakes, such as not capitalizing at the beginning of sentences and names. It helps if you proofread with a watchful eye before you post it. You may even want to consider getting a beta/ someone to proofread it (that's what I do). If not, at least try to be very careful with your punctuation marks. If you don't have the proper punctuation, it can make a sentence's emotion come across in a different way than you intended it to.
There's also a few more, but I'm still lacking time, so I won't go over them.
Overall, you do a very good job with describing the tribute's feelings and reactions, but please try to work on the grammar.
I'm interested to see how it turns out- I can't wait until they get into the arena, that's always very exciting. GO DISTRICT 7! GO GABE!
| district13.111 4/8/13 . chapter 17
I like how his dad is a bit stuborn
| GigiandMad 4/7/13 . chapter 15
Okay interviews but my fav part was Athena getting her token.
| AvalonJackson21 4/5/13 . chapter 16
I'm a bit confuzzled about Lee and Monty :/
and i'm curious about Lee's token. I don't think Maddie is going to last very long- she seems to have given up already. :(
| Theboyfrom3 4/3/13 . chapter 15
Loved this chapter! Kept me intrigued! :)
| GigiandMad 4/2/13 . chapter 14
Ruben is determined and I like it. Idk what to think about Makenna though
| AvalonJackson21 3/28/13 . chapter 14
Ruben sure is stubben. Like a mule or something. :)
Kenna seems like she's on the verge of an complete breakdown. I hope she's only pretending to be weak 'cause i kind of liked her before... lets hope my instincts are correct!
| Emmeline C. Thornbrooke 3/28/13 . chapter 13
All the tributes are good, but Makenna's my favorite and the one whom I hope will win, for her sister's sake.
| Emmeline C. Thornbrooke 3/28/13 . chapter 2
I forgot to comment on Makenna, the only tribute I will root for, since she is my character. You did a good job writing her. I would have done more characterization, and show her relationships between her sister and herself, but that's me since I'm a character writer. Good job.
| AvalonJackson21 3/28/13 . chapter 13
I feel really bad for Adam now. Alot of the tributes this year are dirt broke and have the same sad story about family death and poverty, but Adam doesn't really do that. He talks more about his responisibilities instead which is a relief sense I've already read everyone else. I thought Jackren was a guy for a second because of her name...
| GigiandMad 3/28/13 . chapter 13
Hmmm. I want to know more about this Adam kid. Like how he deals with his asthma and such. Oh and what his token is!
| GigiandMad 3/26/13 . chapter 12
Okay so originally I really liked Lillian (and Cob as the last name rocks lol my fav) and then when I read the part of her brother getting reaped I was a little irked. But it's growing on me now and I can see a lot of potential for the two, the brother-sister duo and I really like it now. Please update soon and hahaha Ren is next ;P
| GigiandMad 3/26/13 . chapter 11
Aww I like this Angel and Toby story! I think she should mention him in her interview or something like that. :) And I LOVE Raven! She- Whoops HE ( ;) ) is pretty awesome! It's hilarious that everyone keeps mistaking him as a girl ;D
| GigiandMad 3/26/13 . chapter 10
I like their escort, Rylan. He seems pretty cool for a Capitol guy. And I cannot even wth David. That is honestly terrible. Deli seems like she's strong. She's pretty so I guess it would help her get sponsors or the like and she's also polite. She might be a fan favorite of the Capitol.