LAYTON YOUR NUTSO

Awww, that was so sweet! I'll be honest, I just about had a heart attack when I read the title. Great chappie! Please update soon!

Awwwwwwww, this was such a cool chapter! Can't wait for more ;)

great job with this. your doing really good with the charactors emotion and thire thoughts cant wait for the chaptors to come. -claire

Poor Luke! I can't help but love Clive though :3

wow clive is really mean in this. didnt clive become nice at the end of the game? well anyways i think its really good

Could Clive get any meaner? I thought that he had changed in the game at the end?

Omg, freaking awesome!

Ooh! This is looking really good so far! I'm interested to see what will happen.

One thing that I do have to say is spacing your dialogue out. For every new speaker, there should be a new line.

Also, some places your punctuation is great, but in others it lacks. For example, the last sentence 'I dropped my tea and the cup shattered into little pieces at my feet the floor and my feet becoming wet with burning tea.' should have a full stop after 'little pieces' or after 'at my feet'.

Looking forward to another update. Maybe next time a slightly longer one?

its good so far cant wait to read the next chapter(s) to come :)