After reading both versions, I think the story is more effective with the Bosco breakdown scene in it.
However, I think it'd be even more effective if you moved it towards the end of the story, either after the "magazine in the bathroom" or just after "We'll be out the door in ten", where the second to last set of dashed lines are. Maybe splitting the Bosco scene would work too; have the first half, up to "They wouldn't stop falling" earlier on and then finish it off later in the story.
(shrug) I'm just throwing out ideas. I still love the content, and the way you pick every little detail to make it even more wonderful and profound. You certainly have a wonderful talent.

i love the way you write. really, i do. when reading your stories it feels like you've spent hours on each and every sentence. what i read is so well-written that my toes curl. you've chosen to write about something quite ordinary (except of course for 9/11) and still you manage to make it so much more exiting that the "main character gets kidnapped, tortured and then left for dead while his best friends tries to find him before it is too late" stories. thanks for sharing this wonderful story with us and please, keep writing! i noticed it's been a few months since you last posted something on fanfiction.net but i hope that just means you're working on another incredible piece of fiction :)

Absolutely amazing. Wow, just wow. This is, hands down, one of the best fics in the Third Watch fandom and also one of the best I've read in my travels through other fandoms.
You have truly captured Faith's voice. All I can do is sit back in awe of what you have written.

I can honestly say you are possibly the best writer this fandom has ever seen. You write with a pain not often seen, and a gift for spinning words into vivid, vivid pictures.

I ache after reading your story, your tale, and I really yearn to read more.

You have captured the sense of Faith and Bosco, and you have captured the critical feeling I got after watching "Falling", and I am still very much in awe of you.

This is an exquisite piece, and you have wonderful range, and I really hope to see more from you.

Holy smokes...this is seriously one of the best pieces of writing I have ever laid eyes on and I'm only on chapter one...

Your imagery is so amazing, so thorough, so realistic I was there...

Wow...I am seriously in awe of your talent. You need to publish something...I'll be first in line to buy it!

~Amanda

What a beautiful, beautiful story. Your writing is beyond excellent, and characterization is more powerful than anything I've ever read in a long while. And I agree that the less 'romantic' angle of F/B relationship is what makes it all so more fascinating.

Anything you can offer to this fandom would be a gem to cherish. Thank you.

Wow, powerful stuff. Great work!

So. I can finally say that I have read a good Third Watch fic...I enjoyed your use of quotes from "Falling" throughout, and your descriptions were just *real*.

Excellent character sketch, interesting approach to the episode/events. One of your more impressive accomplishments, I think, is that you made...almost characters out of intangible things -- Faith's mood is almost a separate entity from Faith herself (and even if that didn't make sense to you, it made sense in my head and I don't know how to say it any better), and 9/11, though not mentioned directly except through Bosco's voice, is a driving force as well. It feels like an oppressive cloud, darkening and tearing things apart while remaining invisible and almost unrecognized -- though, of course, without it the rest of the story would be irrelevent (and non-existent).

I applaud you for treading the fine line between friendship and romance successfully, and Faith's comparison of what happened to adultery. It was beautiully done. I personally am against the Bosco/Faith pairing, though I realize that you are in favor. This story isn't about love -- at least not the "oh I'm so happy! I'm in love! Finally I have found my soul mate!" way, but in a deeper, more complex way -- and it would have been wrong to mess with the dynamic of Faith's meloncholy.

As I said earlier (and my goodness! this has turned into *quite* the review, hasn't it? Sorry it's taking me so long to get my words out!), there are few Third Watch fics of quality. I don't mean to insult any other writers or *ever* stop them from writing/posting, but this fandom tends to attract few polished, mature writers. Bad grammar, lack of plot development, implausible events...these are endured to find the occasional story that captures something special. Yours did that. Excellent work, and thank you.

Oh. My. God. That was incredible. I don't know how you do it, but this was absolutely amazing. I loved it!! It was so in-depth with Faith's character that I am totally floored and sit here in front of my computer in awe. I remembered reading Out, Out-- and loving that one, too. You are a seriously, seriously talented and gifted writer. I love the way you write these characters because it feels so real to me, like you give them this further amount of depth that the show can only touch upon because it's tv, and writing can expand on it so much better, and you do an excellent job at that. Please, please, write more fics. I've been hoping since you posted Out, Out-- a few months ago that you would write another fic, and you did not disappoint. This is truly an incredible piece. I'm also a B/F shipper, but love their friendship just as much and their relationship in general fascinates me. If you're interested, there is a board that a lot of B/F shippers gather at frequently and talk about the show and post fanfic. It's the 55-David: Boscorelli and Yokas board and can be found at http://www.tw-gateway.net/55david/ . I hope you'll come visit and chat with us sometime! Write on!

Angie

Very interesting, love it:D Trust in the kich, the kich is good. Its not bad at all.

:)kich:)

Wow. This story is amazing. All of those thoughts and emotions...I really think that you have gotten inside the mind of this character. I especially liked the part where Faith was loving Fred and at the same time hating him, knowing she couldn't live without him but afraid that she couldn't live with him...it was so good. I can't wait for more of this story. Keep it up. Also, your writing is wonderful. Your use of words and everything. Very good.

WOW. I'm in utter of awe and babbling. That was just so tensified yet it just soaked with goodness of reading. I just knew it had to be you lol your writing stands out somehow :) and damn good job. I really enjoyed this and you are a really damn good writer. I hope to see more from you :) great job!!!! I want more!!! Stories from you!!!!