In general, this proved to be an interesting bit of work, although the fact that you defied continuity by making Harry Osborn a contemporary of Peter’s CHILDREN rather than Peter himself lost you a few points (You could have just made Hobgoblin Norman Osborn’s GRANDSON and have Harry have died in an accident of some sort after his own son was born).
Still, that continuity issue aside, May’s discovery of and subsequent exploration of her abilities was very well-written- even if it could have been longer in some areas-, and her subsequent conflict with the Hobgoblin was an excellent touch, while the added mystery of that other spider-person created a certain air of intrigue that DEFINITELY spiked my interest.
And as for the revelation of her true identity AND Spider-Man’s ultimate fate…
EXCEPTIONAL concept; the idea that a simply fluke of luck could have resulted in Peter becoming what Black Widow became here ALONE wins you points- to say nothing of how you allow us to see her point of view while still making it easy for us to hate her-, but the final confrontation…
EXCELLENT work, really; a highly interesting unexpected revelation and reunion, followed by a dramatic fight (Particularly the part where history nearly repeated itself; nice touch, to say the least).

this was super cool! i did not see Sider Man showing up in the end! i thought he was dead! Wow! good story!

amazing! i read the entire story and it was fabulous! i think you should make a second the first was soo wonderful you rock bye:)

god danm, that was just one super story, tell have you anymore instored?

I realy like the story of what I have readed to far.
but I'm not sure I like Harry Osborn being in it.
It should be his son/daughter in it, not himself.
but still great story, I'm reading on anxious to see what happens

Wonderful Story! This is a brillant interpritation of what a Movie-verse Spider-Girl/Mayday Parker would be like. I really like her friendship with the Green Goblin's grandkid. Another good part is that Peter wasn't really dead and made a full recovery. I also like Mayday's little brother.
However you should have used a differnt name than Harry for the yougest Osborn, it's a little confusing.

I think you your here is INCREDIBLE! i love your stories! are you adding more to the second one involving Anubis?

ill tell yah simply i love it

woah, i LOVE this story. it is totally the awesomest spiderman thing i've ever read.

well, good luck all future writing peices. love ya 4 writing!

chatter puncher

I really love this fic. It's the first Spider-Girl fanfic I ever red. Keep up the good work.

ok you should turn this story into Marvel Comics because it's just that good. Hope you have more like it. James.

Wonderful story. Thanks for taking the time to write it ^_^

AW...Crying...SO. CUTE.

Too. Much. Fluff...Can't. Breathe..Gack!

^-^

LOVE the chess scene...c'est très magnifique! Very clever writing indeed...

A thunderstorm? Heh, how fitting.

Really love the story idea.