Hey! Lauren here. This story was hilarious! I really enjoyed it! I liked that you put a blind person in it. I thought that was really awesome! Maybe you could have Brianna in a few more of your stories. I'm off to read more of your awesome FH stories!

God bless,

Lauren

Wow! Great story!

LOL!

This is really good! you should do another chapter for this story! I think it would be good!

You might be right on the "Smash Club" lines - I think if she's trying to build up the place like in an ad she might try to be really favorable like that when fishing for something to say, but I don't know. Perhaps, too, it's a book vs. TV Michelle thing - the book Michelle says "how rude" a couple times and is a bit more likely to talk about disliking "potty mouths," IMO.

A for the Joey and Jesse bit! Michelle's lines regarding the Smash Club just dont sound right to me. Overall very good story.

I can't believe nobody commented on this yet. That was great! Keep up the good work.