Reviews for Tomodachi - FanFiction.Net

Reviews For: Tomodachi - Reviews: Page 1 of 15

Frog Lady 2008-04-26 ch 9,	abuseA very satisfying ending. So deep, so absorbing... so satisfying. And now that I have swamped you with mindless praise for all of my reviews... SUGGESTIONS! Firstly, I'm personally against using indents to separate paragraphs in HTML. It makes it harder to read. Double-spaced paragraphs are enough. Possibly, more detail in the dialogue is needed. I like the fatc that you didn't drag on the story longer than it was meant to, though, so thumbs up. I loved the different viewpoitns of love, all the uncertainties and whatnot. Made this story into a more satisfying one than it was meant to. I look forward to reading more of your work.
Frog Lady 2008-04-26 ch 8,	abuseAww! This story really affects me in an emotional way. The situations are so realistic, so mature. You completely understand the characters... Oh! Gotta finish the story!
Frog Lady 2008-04-26 ch 4,	abuseHa ha! Very nice story so far! I'll try and review all of it if I can. It's a very promising AU story and completely and totally MirSan! I don't see that often. Usually, MirSan is just a side pairing. People find it boring for some reason. But I don't! I think it's fantabulous! You've portrayed Miroku and Sango's relationship in a believable manner. I mean, believable for an AU. Some things have to change when Miroku and Sango both live in the modern era. As Miroku was not brought up a monk, obviously, he's different. Same goes for Sango. The story that unfolds is dialogue-based, but I loved chapter 4. It stuck out to me as very emotional and I found myself relating with Sango. So cute! I see this story isn't voluminious in length but it's effectively building up to a climax. It's structured very well in an economical manner. I'll review some more as I read through it. On to the next chappy!
virgoxvirgo 2008-04-02 ch 9, anon.	abuseI've read this story like... 10 times! I love it SO MUCH! I hope you start writing Sango Miroku stories again!
Kiari Hyuuga 2008-02-16 ch 9,	abusegreat job love the story bunches. Good idea adding in basketball thats wat made me want to start reading it.
Lady of Sushi and Sugar 2006-10-22 ch 9,	abuseWow! I really like this story. Miroku and Sango together forever! All I can say is wow! Thank you this story just made my day.
animepinay18 2006-03-25 ch 9,	abuseI love you.
animepinay18 2006-03-25 ch 8,	abuseo okay. Takeda is nicer. =)...but i still dislike him.
animepinay18 2006-03-25 ch 2,	abuseI LOVE THE WHOLE STORY!! but kuranoske...is really ** me off. sorry.
Yokai no Miko 2006-02-01 ch 9,	abuseThis was such a sweet story! I loved it!
Tiger 2005-12-24 ch 9, anon.	abuseVery well written story. Not silly like the majority of high school AU fics. You really took time to build things and explore thoughts/emotions of the characters. The dialogue was excellent, too. You didn't resort to the same "Miroku-grope-Sango-slap" routine which becomes quite tiresome. I didn't think Takeda sounded evil. He sounded like a nice guy who was being supportive of Sango. It's normal that Miroku would be jealous. Kagome was annoying, on the other hand (not that I'm suggesting to change her) -- I guess I'm not as idealistic as her, and Takeda seemed like he could eventually make Sango happy, if she really chose him. I guess I'm saying that I didn't find Kagome's harping on Miroku cool. Makes for the story though, doesn't it? Anyway, thanks for the great story!
CTHKSI 2005-08-10 ch 9, anon.	abuseAw...:D That was soo sweet! ^_^
Winter Aquamarine 2005-05-01 ch 9,	abuseThat was such a beautiful chapter. T_T I even cried a bit during Miroku's scene at the basketball court alone. But I'm glad that Miroku and Sango got there in the end... and finally realised that they were meant for each other. ^_^
demonspawn666 2005-03-30 ch 9,	abuseI'm melting...that was the cutest story I have ever read! It was so cute! Sango and Miroku...you did such a good job at portraying them. It wasn't the longest story ever...but it was perfect! Every word! This really was an awesome story!
ScoRPion Blade 2004-12-20 ch 9,	abusehmm...this story was updated january of 2003, and im getting around to reviewing it on 12/20/2004?! Guess that shows just how many times I clicked next on the PG-13 Sango/Miroku pages. And boy I am really glad that I did so. And being such a good fic I had to review. I sure hope you still visit the email that sends you this stuff. AU! And while I will always enjoy a well-writted canon, I think I prefer AUs. They just seem to take more personality form the author. Yours is no exception and you do a perfect job with it. You added your own touch to Miroku and Sango (amongst others, but mostly them) and made them your own, but still keeping them identifiable. Takeda...well, let's just say I hate Takeda with a fiery passion, so my judgment of him is quite, ah...clouded shall we say? Miroku's and Sango's relationship is quite interesting in this fic. I won't go quite as far as to say it's unique, but it is very refreshing. I mean, of course Sango is going to refuse him at first, no Sango shouldn't (did that make sense? I think so), but the way you brought them together was very cool, and I liked it. It was also a very mature way of bringing them together, not some sudden oh my god i love you let me throw my body upon yours and we'll live happily ever or some shtick like that. Doesn't work in real life, why should we pretend it does here? And maturity brings me perfectly into my next point. While the characters are somtimes very childish and immature, you always have a mature tone about your writing. Considering this is , where anyone can post anything (not that that's a bad thing, everyone has to start somewhere), I applaud the level of maturity that you put in this piece. It is that maturity that makes it so that everyone who reads it should feel entitled and responsible for letting you know how they felt: if you spent the time to write this well, we should spend the time to let you know how good it is and where you can improve. I guess what it boils down to is that you show a level of maturity no usually found in fanfics, and I think it is a great thing. I kinda read through all of the chapters at onceand I might have missed something, but do we ever get an explanation for why Sango didn't continue with the basketball (for the high school team)? I know Miroku wonders about that to himself, but I don't remember if he voices them. Not a terribly important thing, I was just curious. Some of your other reviewers have stated that you use too much dialect. I think it is a personal preference, but only to a certain degree. You develop a lot of the plot through the dialogue, and I think that you should keep all of it. However, to create more of a balance, maybe you could add some more description in between. Like in the last chapter, when you have the dialogue between Miroku and Sango and she says "baka! i asked you first!" and you had a little paragraph after that, that was good. I'm not saying you should do that for every single quote, but it would help in some places. Great story, I really really enjoyed reading it. I hope you get as much out of my review as I did out of reading your story. Hope to see more work form you in the future!! ~SPerry

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