I'm not even trying to read that.

Paragraph breaks, please! At the very least before EVERY bit of dialogue. It's a shame to see an interesting idea made completely unreadable.

Oh, and 'u' is not a word. 'You' is. If your summary has spelling mistakes, no-one's going to read any further.

I was rather enjoying the story. i would be ever so grateful if you would continue writing it.

It is a little hard to read. You should redo it with breaks and paragraphs. If you use work just save it as a webpage and then post it again. Easy as that.