I loved your story! But it seemed like it was a little rushed. Don't hesitate to take some time and focus on the small details.

Cheers,

Doku Masho

Very nice introduction; it has that certain hook that grabs a reader’s attention. However, the format of your story is a little too dense. Unnecessary strain on the eyes might cause you to lose readers!

Cheers,

Doku Masho

It was really beautiful... You are a very talented writer._

nice fan fic

Very good, you put some human emotion into one of the Seasonal most people wouldn't have given a second thought to. Hope if oyu write another story to this the other two will see the light.

I read this a looong time ago and am just now getting around to reading it. ::Hits self on head:: I don't know why I waited so long. It's one of the best stories. Plus, Loren falls for Sekky! Yeah, great choice!

I love the story! you could have made it longer though, it you wanted to. but it's great I like it. why not do a sequel? about what happens next, like if loren goes back to america, and if seckmet comes with her, or if she stays? you gave your self alot of possibilities for a sequel, and I know I would read it. keep writing!

Short and too the point. At least the Ronin's know that Sekhmet was after Loren. Now, lets see her awaken Sekhmet's feelings of compassion and caring.

I'm really enjoying this story! I like the way Loren is acting and reacting to the other armor bearers. And as to who warned Halo: I think it was Piety, Seckmeht's armor.

I like your story, it's good you have a good plot and a good amount of action, I like that, it keeps me interested, but I have a question, you have romance as one of your genra's (I think thats the word...) and I wanted to know what romance you have, not to be rude I mean your story is great, but I didn't read about any romance. you don't have to answer my question of Where's the romance? but it would be nice if you did. you can e-mail me at . thanx! keep the great story up!

I'm glad to see the new chapters up! I like this story very much. I also feel that sooner or later, there will be a showdown between the two groups and that it will take the Ancient One to settle the dispute without major bloodshed.

hey, cool story! its an original plot, or at least to me and i hope you keep writing!

Finally, we are starting to get some information on Anbuis background, through this young lady. Keep up the good work, and I look forward to more chapters.

Great story... there aren't many ficcies out there that DON'T have anubis dead in them, your the first one I've read! haha. But, seriously, this is a really good story and I'm looking forward to more!

This is a very good start to this story! And I smell a lot of screaming, headaches, and talking going on in this story, as well as battles! If this young lady has even a FEW of the traits that Anubis had, its going to be a VERY interesting time in the Koji mansion!