Wow, long names... They're as bad as the Rethwallens! (The unpronouncable name thing I mean) ...Now to read the rest of the tale.

I've read as far as chapter 23. Quite interesting.

There's quite a lot of wrong or mispelled words (I gather that English might not be your first language?), but I'm too tired to proof-read it now, and I need to sleep.

Someone else already mentioned that the Valdemar Guard accepts women (Vanyel's sister joined the guard, if you remember).

OH MY GOD!! You are really good at following the Mercedes Lackey formula for success, make the readers love a character and then drop a mountain on them! I am so glad that part of the sequel is already up or I would have sent you a Strangle by Email email. Wonderful Job!

You wrote "She’s from the company of guard trainees that came for a few days." Don't you mean "He's"? Chapters could be longer. There was no Selenay The Peacemaker, that was Elspeth the Peacemaker, but you're right, there probably were other Selenays in history, they just have never been mentioned. Good Job so far, I'll review again at the end.

well **

yay she is PREGNANT whope

ur probably getting tired of me by now but u could of put a damper with him being related to the queen but u didnt an i liked that but i have read that when u have sex other people can tell that u have had sex so that could screw tham over if everone els see it.

i m sorry but im kinda critical. but gay is not a word in their world. the only word for it is the hawkbrother name for it shay somthing. if u have read the magic trilogy i think its in there. if they dont know the hawk brother name for it they call it in regular word, i think. not totally sure. i hope this didnt ** u off again sorry

this story reads sorta familiar(sp?) not as in u stole it from some one else but the whole running away cause of family sounds familiar(again sp?) end.

This is a grat story. I am glad you rote the sequal thow I havent staerted reading it yet. I am going to do that naw.

I love this story!

hey it is great! I love raymond E feist aswell! hehe well I really like this story so keep on writing..lol
Sarah

This is starting to sound WAY TOO MUCH like Alana Quartet by Tamora Pierce!

AWSOME story. now i get to read the other one.

great story! i loved finding the lotr refrences... i wouldnt guess mulan, but Tamora Peirce seems to be close!

I really like how the story is going. I don't want to be annoying but apparently girls have always been in the Guard. Vanyel's older sister was even a captain. I haven't actually noticed any conflicting things, I didn't even see anywhere in the text where you came out and said that girls weren't allowed in the Guard. I always just assumed that Lan had disguised herself so that it would be harder for her family to track her down.