White and blue candles flickered peacefully, arranged in a circle on the floor. A dragon shaped
incense burner wafted sandalwood scented smoke through the room, and a pile of empty aspirin
bottles were arranged artfully on the desk.

Seiryu cursed as he tried to twist himself into a lotus position. " I am at peace with myself and
the Universe," he chanted. " I am a god and need not be completely stressed out. I am at peace
with myself and-"

The door clanged open, and Genbu ran in, laughing and throwing flyers at everything. He was
soon followed by Byakko, who was wielding an enormous mallet and yelling: " That's it! Now
you DIE!" The two ran around the room several times, and then whooshed right back out through
the door, slamming it shut.

The aspirin bottle pyramid trembled, then collapsed, sending a rain of bottles onto Seiryu's head.

He blinked once. Twice. Then he melted into a whimpering mound of god. "All I ever wanted
was some decent seishi!" he whimpered, " And a priestess! That's all! It's not fair dammit, it's
not faiiiiiiir…." He went on for a long, long while.

Elsewhere, on some random mountain, our favorite twins were just starting their day.

"And what, dear brother," asked Amiboshi through gritted teeth, " Are you planning today?"

"Nothin'."

"Nothin', eh? I suppose you packed eighty bags of sugar and a rubber ducky for no reason?"

"Well…"

" And what is that thing in your hand?"

" It's a flyer."

Seiryu glared at the picture of Suzaku on his dartboard. It slowly melted, and then burst into
flame with a little 'poof'. Stress dealt with, Seiryu turned towards the door and tried to gather
together the pieces of his shattered mind.

" Next!"

A man with long white hair, yellow eyes, and claw-like nails glided through the doorway and
started laughing evilly.

" What's so funny?" asked Seiryu suspiciously. Geez, the guy had 'villain' stamped in bright red
ink all over him.

The man looked sheepish. " Sorry," he said apologetically," It's just…sometimes…I get this urge
to let out an evil laugh. Even if the situation really isn't that funny. I get kicked out of a lot of
weddings."

" Why do you have the word 'villain' stamped all over you in bright red ink?"

" Would you believe I got attacked by two blond, sugar-wielding twins on the way here?"

" No."

" Oh well. Anyway, I'm here…"

" Oh no, let me guess. You found a flyer in some odd and random place somewhere about your
house or on your person."

" No, actually I'm the janitor. But I'm sick of cleaning out the toilets and washing lipstick off the
mirrors-"

" Hey!" yelled Suzaku from the next room.

" So I've decided to try for this seishi job. By the way my name is Tenkou."

" Amiboshi…" Suboshi said lovingly, surrounded by millions of sparkly hearts and stars.

" Suboshi…" muttered Amiboshi, also looking as though he had just taken a short trip to a glitter
factory.

" Amiboshi…"

" Suboshi…"

" Amiboshi…Oh, I give up. It doesn't sound as impressive as Tamahome and Miaka, anyway."

"Want some more sugar?"

"So…Tenkou." Said Seiryu, staring at the new arrival. " Tell me what you think you can offer the
Seiryu seishi. Have you any weird quirks besides the evil laughter thing?"

" Well, first of all…I want to rule the world!" he declared, eyes glittering manically.

Seiryu paused. " Um…I'm sorry, we have one of those already. Anything else?"

Tenkou looked taken aback. "Um…have really cool hair and eyes. Look, they're all slanted and
evil looking!"

"Uh-huh."

"And…uh…I have many powers at my disposal…"

"Like?"

"…I can destroy stuff. With my fingers."

"Sorry, I don't think we need another blatantly evil guy."

"Wh-what?" Tenkou stuttered, eyes wide. "But...but…ARGH!" He stomped one foot on the floor
and pouted. " FINE! Be that way! I don't you and your stupid seishi opening! I'm gonna be a
GOD, and make MY OWN seishi!" He then stormed out of the room and slammed the door, and
a slightly overdone plot was formed.

And so was forged the Fushigi Yugi OVA.

"I've got hands." Stated Suboshi in awe.

"Me too," said Amiboshi, staring at them. He flexed his fingers. "That is a marvelous concept."

"Hands," said Suboshi, and then both of them continued to eat sugar as they made their way
towards the job interviews.

"Next!" Roared Seiryu.

In came a man wearing an immaculate suit and a pair of blood-red sunglasses. A desk seemed to
magically appear in front of him and he clasped white gloved hands in front of his face and then
simply sat and stared.

Seiryu felt oddly intimidated. "Erm…hello…" Was it just him, or was this guy *creepy*?
"Um…what do you think you can offer the Seiryu seishi?"

The man just kept his hands clasped in front of his face.

Seiryu stared at him.

The man stared back.

Finally, he spoke. " You are a disappointment," he said, then rose to his feet and left the room.

Seiryu stood there in a state of silent shock for a long while. " What the HELL?"

Genbu stalked through the city of Tokyo 3, attacking random buildings as he did so. "CANDY!",
he roared, while scattering flyers around, "I WANT CAAAANDY!"

"I must not run away…" muttered Shinji.

And the gods of sugar were very, very amused.

Unlike a certain dragon god, who was feeling very homicidal and very suicidal at the moment.
Drastic times called for drastic measures. He opened the secret compartment in his desk, pulled
an intricate series of strings, undid several knots, fed the ravaging guard hamsters of death, and
finally reached a small iron safe, from which he pulled out…

A Suzaku plushie.

With a manic look in his eyes, he took the plushie in one hand and grabbed up a handful of pins
with the other.

"You," he raved, staring at the stuffed toy and positioning a pin right over its heart. "This is all
your fault! You and your accursed 'let's play Priestess Chess' idea! Well, you know were you can
put that idea, Suzy? HERE!"

And with that he jammed the pin through the Suzaku doll, pinning it to the desk.

"And THIS is for your stupid nicknames!"

WHAM

"And this is for putting laxatives in my aspirin!"

POINK

"AND THIS IS FOR…"

And Seiryu continued to ram pins into the plushie, while yelling exactly what Suzaku did to
deserve the beating.

Meanwhile, the twins had finally gotten over their sugar high, and Suboshi and Amiboshi were
back to their normal selves.

"Blood," Amiboshi chanted, holding a sword in the air, "I must have BLOOD to avenge the
murder of my family."

"No, no, big brother!" Suboshi pleaded, giving his twin a pleading look, "You simply mustn't
give in to your violent urges like that! We should all love one another!"

Wait, what do you mean, I got their personalities switched? You mean they're not usually
like…Oh, sod it all.

Well, anyway…

"Now, I want you to behave," said Amiboshi sternly. "No throwing those yo-yos of yours around,
no killing off people's families, and no hitting on any short-haired blonde in sight."

"Aw…" Moaned Suboshi. "But that was an accident, last time in Qu-Dong Fried Chicken! I
really didn't mean to hit all those other people…"

"Just the one, hmm?"

"Yes! Exactly!" Suboshi paused. "I mean, no. Of course I didn't mean to harm or injure anyone. I
am a pacifist." With that, he turned around and pretended to choke.

"Good. Remember, this is a GOD we're having an interview with, and gods are solemn and
imposing, and…"

Amiboshi opened the door.

Seiryu was sprawled on top of his desktop, mutilating the Suzaku plushie, which already looked
like a small porcupine, while raving and yelling incoherently. He wore a headdress of bright red
feathers, and had what looked like crimson lipstick scrawled across his face. "ALMONDS!" he
yelled, then turned towards the door, looking straight at the twins.

They blinked.

He blinked.

Wind swept through the office, carrying a tumbleweed, which was immediately grabbed up by
Ashitere to use as a chew toy.

Seiryu was the first to speak. "Um."

"So," said Amiboshi. "Flyer."

"Job interview," said Suboshi, not know if he should burst into hysterical laughter or run away
and never come back.

Seiryu slid onto his chair and tried to look solemn. "So, do you have any quirks, eccentricies, or
homicidal/suicidal tendencies?"

"I like to kill people!" said Suboshi, sounding quite cheerful about it. "I have nifty yo-yo
weapons and they make people BLEED."

"I keep telling him to get a psychiatrist," remarked Amiboshi gloomily, "But he never listens."

Seiryu looked at Amiboshi dubiously. "Do you have any quirks?"

"Oh, sure I do! I can make people go insane or die by listening to my flute music."

"So, you're a really bad flute player?" Asked Seiryu incredulously.

"No. I'm a really GOOD flute player! Anyone can make good music. It takes talent to have
people actually die from listening to your flute playing."

"Uh-huh. Well, I can't take this anymore, and you two sound crazy enough. You're in. Get your
seishi tattoos over in the next room and leave me alone."

"Woohoo! And mom said we'd have to wait until we were thirty to get our first tattoo!" yelled
Suboshi, pulling his brother into the tattoo room and slamming the door behind them.

Seiryu collapsed onto his desk. "Oi…"

In a different auditioning room, Suzaku lay twitching on the ground. "Stupid salamander and his
stupid voodoo," he ranted, "Just for that, I'll make my priestess really annoying and really
indestructible. That'll show him. Heh heh heh."

And in the distance, Genbu and Byakko could be seen doing the macerena.