Alex Keaton + Andrew Keaton + Mallory = Money Problems
Alyce and Stephen Keaton are on a two-week holiday. Alex convinces Andrew
to give him his saved money to invest in the stock market. Mallory joins
in the Moneymaking attempt.
Andrew had just received his account balance statement. The money he was
saving due to his parents' advice was growing nicely and steadily; he
showed the account sheet to Mallory who sat beside him.
"You see. With the compound interest and the less government tax my money's
grown to that much." Andrew says pointing to the bottom of the page.
Mallory looked confused, "So interest good. Tax bad?"
Alex walked behind the couch from the kitchen and adjusts his watch. He
leans over and lightly kisses Mallory on the forehead.
"I've been explaining that for years Mal. And you just getting it?" Alex
shakes his head.
"Well Andy explains it better. You use confusing words."
"Sorry Mal, I will try and use only one or two syllable words for you. OK?"
Alex said patronizingly.
Alex ties his tie and looks over Andrew's shoulder at the statement and
shakes his head smiling, "That's nothing Andrew, that's child's money. If
you allow me to. I can really make your money turn into real money."
Andrew sits up, "How?" He asked.
"Stock market boy. It's about time you dabbled in the markets." Alex said
shaking Andrew's shoulders.
"But mom said there's no way I was to listen to you when it comes to
money." Andrew said.
"Look Andy. Who do you follow orders from?"
"Yes but Mom and Dad left me in charge. Therefore you must listen to me
since they asked me to lay out the orders."
"Alex. I'm sure that's not what they meant." Mallory said.
"Hey the latest Seers catalogue came in. It's on the table."
Mallory jumps with joy and with a spring in her step she headed for the
kitchen in the next room.
"Are you sure about this Alex?"
"Trust me Andrew. With your finances and my know how, we can make lots and
lots of money." Alex said, not letting go of his shoulders, "Come on Andy.
I have not let you down before have I?"
Andrew and Alex walk into the kitchen where Mallory is reading a catalogue
on the kitchen bench. She didn't look at them when they entered.
"There was the time with those trading cards." Andrew said.
"I could have got the kid to lower the price."
Andrew waved his arms around, "They were fifty cents Alex. Jeez."
"Trust me Andy. I can make you a little fortune." Alex said.
"And what about the time I had lunch with Kim the boy next door?" Andrew
continued, "It was a simple case of swap. But you had us there all
afternoon wheeling and dealing so you could get the coke."
"Ok Andy. I've made mistakes, but hey, I've learnt from them."
Andrew reluctantly agreed to let Alex take him and his money to the Stock
Market. Mallory agreed to leave the catalogue alone and drove the two to
Alex, Andrew and Mallory arrived at the stock market relatively early.
Reluctantly Andrew gave Alex the money he had withdrawn from his account
earlier. Mallory locked the car.
"I think I'll have a go." Mallory said, pulling out her wallet.
Alex and Andrew laughed hard, "You Mallory? I'm sorry but Seers is not a
stock. Come on what do you know about the stock market?"
"Buy low, sell high." Mallory said, "It's that simple an idiot can
"That's going to be a point proven today. Isn't that right Mal?"
Alex and Andrew wore their matching suits and Mallory wore her favourite
top that she had brought from a catalogue last summer. The place was
already starting to look packed. This was Andrew's first visit to the
Stock market and he was looking forward to it, since Alex often talked
about his trips to the place.
They entered the doors and immediately the action began to take place.
Andrew marvelled at the way Alex looked and acted confident when it came to
money and he already knew what he was doing. Mallory on the other hand
moved a lot more slowly and unsteadily.
Throughout the day Andrew watched in amazement, he had observed Alex's face
change from exuberance to panic. But on the other hand, Mallory had a
spring in her step and had a joyous look. She was having a ball.
Before long trading ended. It was hard to believe that they had spent a
full day there without really realising it. Mallory approached Alex who
hadn't moved in the last half hour or so.
"So how'd you do Alex?" She asked.
Alex threw his hands into the air and sunk to his knees.
Mallory held a piece of paper in front of Alex's face and waved it a bit.
As soon as he saw it, he threw his arms up again.
"Is there no Stock market God? Have thou taken my money making skill away
from me?" Alex then saw the sheet that Mallory waved triumphantly in his
face, "Why? How? It's impossible."
Andrew waited patiently near the door. He could tell that the news
couldn't be good. Eventually Alex and Mallory approach him.
"How much money did we make Alex?" Andrew asked, already guessing the
answer. On their way to the car Alex didn't say anything, "How much did we
lose Alex?" He asked.
Again there was no answer.
"Alex. What happened?" Andrew prompted.
"Andy I was sure it was a stable stock." Alex answered, "Mallory how did
you do so well?"
Mallory stopped after she opened the door to answer the question, "I just
picked the one with the closest name to a favourite shop where I got my
clothes from as a kid."
"Dumb luck?" Asked Alex, "I have been through Business College, finance
courses and majored in Economics. And you did so well with dumb luck?"
"I said any idiot could play the stocks Alex. I guess that proves you're
not any old idiot huh?" Mallory said with cockiness.
Alex is sitting on the base of the stairs in the lounge room while Mallory
was still gloating over her good day at the stock market. It was dark now
and there were only a couple of lights on in the house. Andrew had already
been sent to bed.
"Mal. Seriously, you have to help me out here." Alex pleaded.
"Seriously Alex. I got nothing I have to do." Mallory said, "But I could
help my brother out." She twirled some of her hair in her fingers.
"Ok Mal." Alex said in a defeated tone, "What will it take?"
Mallory thought for a while before answering that question, "I want you to
tell me that you're not the perfect one. That you indeed do make
Alex scoffed. He was perfect enough in his eyes. At that time the phone
rung and Mallory picked it up.
"Hi mom." She said, "Well you know it's funny how you mentioned that Alex,
Andrew and me-"
Alex leapt off the bottom step and wrestled the phone away from Mallory and
covered the mouthpiece before speaking to Mallory, "Ok. But finish the
phone call. But if you tell mom about today, I'm going to tear up your
Seer's catalogue and dresses. You got it?"
"Sheesh Alex. Alright." Mallory continued the conversation on the phone
with their mom, "Alex, Andrew and me went to the park."
Alex's panicked look turned to relief as she changed her story elegantly.
There was a long time before Mallory finished with her phone call with
their mother. She immediately went to Alex afterwards.
"Well Alex P Keaton?" She said, "Don't you have something to say to me?"
Alex bit his lip. He knew he had to say what he promised he would. He was
a man of his word and nothing would change that.
"Ok Mal." Alex said, "I was wrong."
"And?" Mallory said.
"And. I'm not perfect, I do make mistakes." Alex said while wiping his
mouth with the palm of his hand.
"I'm not perfect ok Mal. Is that what you want to hear?" He asked.
"Ok Alex. You will get the money Andy gave you tomorrow." Mallory said.
"You're just going to do it like that?" Alex asked in an amazed tone.
"Sure Alex. I know how hard saying you're not perfect was for you."
"I'm not going to say that ever again." Alex said, "Never!"
"You don't have to Alex."
She pulled out a small tape recorder and pressed play.
"I'm not perfect ok." She rewound it and played it again a few times.