My black shawl was wrapped carelessly around my shoulders. But it was burning me while absorbing the heat of the afternoon, summer sun. I lifted my head while blocking my eyes to see the darkness that had descended upon Tokyo. This fog would never leave. It was like a bloodstain that couldn't ever come off no matter how much you washed it. Only, your fingers would bleed and stain it all over again.
I carefully gripped the handle of my black guitar case and smiled softly to myself. I glanced back at the pavement as I stood there feeling as if I was unworthy of looking at the sky. Turning my head to my right, I watched my old apartment and gripped the handle even more with my gloves.
I had so many stories to tell. So many wonderful memories even though they were painted with red later on.
"How did I find myself here?" I whispered as if I would curse myself for being so masochistic.
I didn't belong here anymore.

Ne touché pas la lune. (Can't touch the moon.)
By Miyamoto Yui

Knockknockknock!
"I'm coming," I laughed as I jumped off make-shift couch, which was made out of magazines and books, and ran towards the door in a hurry.
"Ow!" I shouted as I stepped over a pen that I had left on the floor a few days ago. Or was it a few months? I forgot.
When I opened the door, my eyes opened wide to the red outfit that she had on. To show it off, she lifted up her hands and turned around for me. "See what I made!"
Red earrings to match the simple red dress with a small black coat and tall black boots. I nodded in approval. "Very nice~!"
"Hounto ni?" She then came into my apartment and laughed. "You always say that."
"But I'm just telling the truth." I walked into the living room behind her. "Actually, this is low-key to what you're used to doing."
She just nodded with her hands folded as she stretched her arms in back of her. "Don't have much time now to sew. So, I've to make do."
Lifting up her hand to cover part of her face, she did her signature loud laugh. "Ohohoho! But I'm a genius! See!"
I nodded as I sat on the ground as she sat across the coffee table from me. "Yes, yes. But do you want anything to drink?"
"Naw."
She grabbed one of the rock magazines on the ground. "You like that Indies band a lot, don't you?"
While picking up my needle and thread, I answered with a nod, "Luna Sea is totally awesome. You have to hear them some time."
"I prefer Rebecca. You know that!" She then read a bit as I started on a vinyl outfit that I wanted to wear for a performance that I would be having in a few days.
"So, how's Subaru-kun doing?" I asked as I thrust the needle's point into the material in my hands. "Where is he?"
"He's fine. He's somewhere doing a shigoto."
Flip, flip.

I didn't like the way she answered that though she was pretending to be contentedly reading the article on Rebecca. I wanted to frown as she tried to hide that she was worried.

Click.
So deep in thought, I almost forgot that there was music playing in the background. I got up to flip the tape and another song by Rebecca was playing.
That's how my small apartment was. Magazines for costumes or visual kei bands mixed in with manga on the living room floor. My bedroom was so full of clothes and cloth that it could have been a fabric store. The only thing that was clean was the kitchen, weirdly. I cooked well, but I was so busy that I would forget to eat sometimes.

Unfortunately, 'Moon' was playing: Hokuto's favorite song.
I knew she was out of it. She refused to sing along.

"Is something wrong, Hokuto?" I then pulled the thread with my teeth.
"Sei-chan lost his eye," she answered as if it were the most common thing to say. She put down the magazine she had in her hands and reached for another one.
"Sei-chan?" The needle fell to the carpet quietly.

Was I convincing enough when I did that? Even though I knew, I wouldn't have been able to do anything. It was destined to happen as he had said to me...

Hokuto-chan just nodded her head. "He did it for Subaru. To protect him."
Flip, flip, flip.
"What was he protecting him from?" I took up the needle again and started to sew again.
"A woman."
She sounded as if it was her Seishirou had fended off. I couldn't blame her. I wish I had told her, but I was sworn to secrecy.
I just nodded silently. "Ah."
'Moon' played in the background as I got up and went to the fridge. "I hope they both feel better."
"We visited Sei-chan today. He's doing fine."
I brought out a bowl to her lap and smiled. "I made green tea ice cream for you."
"Thank you."
Then, I patted her head. "Don't worry about it."

Ache. I'm so bad with lying to myself. But I looked at her with a straight face that she began to smile despite everything.
I resumed sewing as the song changed.

She couldn't tell me. Hokuto-chan was always like that. No matter what you would do to pry her feelings open, she wouldn't ever show you. It wasn't because she didn't want to. It was because she was so used to being alone.
Being in the background, she followed her brother with a smile. Her outfits were her way of getting attention without asking for it.
So, I knew that when she came into my apartment that day, she was finally going to leave. She was fading before my eyes.
Hokuto knew she was losing to Seishirou in a way that she couldn't ever explain aloud to Sei-chan, Subaru, or myself. I saw that melancholic look one time when I was leaving my apartment to go to the local music store to buy a guitar.
"Ohayou, Hokuto-chan! Subaru-kun! Sei-chan!" I greeted with the genkiness of a 17-year-old though I was already 25 years of age.
I watched the tall, handsome in back of Subaru whispering something to Subaru's ear. It must have been bad because Subaru just blushed like a red tomato while Hokuto-chan locked the door with her eyes closed.
Then, she opened them again and waved at me. "Aiko-chan!"
Walking up to them, I laughed at the amusing sight of an embarrassed Subaru-kun. Patting his shoulder, I gave him a dead-pan look. "You should just give in. Stop resisting."
Winking at Seishirou, Hokuto bursted out in laughter. Subaru blinked his eyes at me as Seishirou nodded his head. We exchanged glances.
Hokuto nodded in agreement with my statement, she took Subaru to one side and hit him in the back of the head. "Yes, you should do that! Follow..."
"I won't ever forgive you..." I harshly said as I looked at Subaru and Hokuto with a smile. "...Sakurazukamori."
"Ah, you play this game too, don't you, Aiko-chan?" Seishirou asked as he chuckled while also watching the two siblings 'communicate'. Or rather, Hokuto lecturing Subaru for five minutes.
"I love you, Seishirou." I closed my eyes for a second. I then opened my eyes and continued to watch my two best friends 'talk'. "But I love them more."
Taking out his cigarettes from his jacket pocket, he then lit it up and took a puff. After that, he handed over the stick to me. I started to smoke.
"I'm sorry Subaru loves you so much and all his sister can do is watch."
"Like you watch her."
Hokuto came back. I hugged them goodbye, but I kissed Sei-chan on the cheek while whispering to his ear, "At least make her beautiful for me."

When they left, I walked in the opposite direction. I sighed while taking another puff of the cig. It was then that I knew the clock to end her existence was starting. It was only a matter of time until I would lose both of them...

Days later, Hokuto told me that Subaru wouldn't eat or sleep. I wanted to go visit, but I had promised them I wouldn't intervene. I knew that even if I hugged Subaru now, I wouldn't be able to contain myself. I would have told him the truth.

The truth of why I was also their neighbor...
...to watch that assassin. To delay him for a while...
...for Hokuto's sake. Her brief happiness.

Hokuto wouldn't tell me anything, but her worry was consuming her alive. The vibrant colors were finally black. She didn't want to shine anymore.
The twinkle in her eyes was gone as she started to walk towards my front door. I then stopped her.

Only a little more time...

Wrapping my arms around her shoulders, I tightly wouldn't let go. I hugged her, but that was about as much affection as I gave her. She then began to sing.

And I knew it was over.

"Oh nothing stays the same for long. Seasons change and life goes on..." her voice sang as my heart became numb within my chest.
The warmth was dissipating and disappearing from my flesh. I wanted to save her...

"You make it seem like I'll never see you again," she laughed as she turned around when she finished the song. Hokuto then gave me a big hug.
I softly slapped her on the cheek. "You liar."
Shaking her head, she then said, "No, Hokuto-chan never lies."
I laughed. "Yes, that's right."
Stepping away from me, she began to laugh like the strong person she had always been. "I'm always right."

I love you, Hokuto-chan, I had wanted to say as she took my hands and let go while walking out the front door.
"Ja ne!" She waved to me and left me standing there watching the door.

Later on, I opened my door to leave for my performance. As soon as I did, I also heard a click of another door.
Under the moonlight, Hokuto looked very beautiful. No wonder she had loved that song. The moon and she were sisters. So close and yet so far to the one they must protect.
Hokuto turned her head to me with a smile. "Goodbye, Aiko."
"I'll see you later, Hokuto."
As if it were the most natural thing to do, she walked to her death with her head up. And I watched her until I couldn't see a little white speck in front of me.

I walked my way, not knowing whether or not she knew who I really was. But in my mind, I cursed to Kakyou, "I kept my end of the promise. I hope you two are both happy."
'Tap, tap, tap' went my black boots on the pavement. Getting further and further from the place I would never come back to again.
"Why are dreamseers the most helpless of them all?" I asked Hinoto-hime one time.
"We are bound invisibly by our own hearts," she answered.

That night, as I fell asleep, I watched the dream again. I watched Subaru call out to his sister, but I couldn't even cry for him. I couldn't even cry for myself.
Behind him in a shadow, I wanted to grab his shoulders and lie to him that everything would be all right. Just like the time he got his gloves. I was the one that picked him up as he ran away from Seishirou, but I erased it from his memory.

Both of their eyes were the same, but their hearts were broken in different ways.

Seishirou held out Hokuto's corpse in an array of flying sakura and I smiled.

I remembered: "If I ever die, tell Subaru that I loved him."
"Why are you talking about that?"
"Just promise me!"
"Yes, Hokuto."
"Tell him I'll never leave him."

"Thank you," I mimed as I directly looked at him. Seishirou just smiled as they both disappeared.

Finally, tears fell down my face. Nine years and it feels like it just happened yesterday. I looked at the gray sky again and began to walk the same direction, the one I always took. The one that was opposite from Hokuto's.

I bumped onto someone's shoulder and bowed in apology as I placed my guitar down on the ground and put my gloved hands over my knees. "I'm sorry."
Looking up, I didn't even gasp.
"Excuse me," the man had said.

You can't recognize me, can you, Subaru? That's right, I'm no better than Sei-chan. Erasing your memory just like he had always done.
I helped kill her by not doing anything.

Taking up my guitar again, I walked past him. Knowing I could no longer reach him with her words that she had left for only him, I began to sing. The wind blew softly and he heard my voice sing the other version of Moon:
"Moon, anata wa shitte iruno. Moon anata wa nanimo kamo..."

For a moment, he turned around to glance at my amethyst eyes.
Even with melancholy on my face, inside I was smiling.
But that was not for too long. He resumed walking away from me. Just like Hokuto did that day.
My heart ached. You couldn't remember me. As the way it should be.

Tap, tap, tap...
As I walked away, I remembered the day after she died. In a dream...

"I'm jealous of you, Kakyou," I told him as I sat on an imaginary branch outside the window of his made-up room. He sat on a screen door and looked at the ground trying to avoid my gaze.
"Why would you be jealous of me?" he asked with much amazement.
"She loved you."
"But you were able to touch her."
Shaking my head, I replied, "No, I didn't."
Holding up my white gloves towards him, I said, "I couldn't touch her. She wouldn't let me."

"We were no different, were we, Hokuto-chan?" I whispered as I looked up to the moon above me.
It was as if it had lost its light for a moment...

Owari.

Author's note: I made this because I thought it would be interesting to get a third person. So, this was what came to mind. Sorry that doesn't make much sense...but I like it.

"Moon, anata wa shitte iruno. Moon anata wa nanimo kamo..."
"Moon, I know you. Moon, maybe you are nothing."