Link meets Shakespeare (my dedication to my favorite writer and playwright....in a humorous sort of way). Beware though....this fanfic is really kinda corny.
[Scene: Link is battling a 7-headed monster when he is automatically transported to medieval England].
Link: [Falls onto a stage filled with actors]. Where the heck am I?
Actor #1: Now where did he come from?
Actor #2: I don't know, he just fell out of nowhere!
Shakespeare: All right, all right! Who are you?
Link: My name's Link.
Shakespeare: Well, if you're going to stay here, you're going to need a part in my new play. It's called "A Midsummer Night's Nightmare."
Link: Isn't that supposed to be "A Midsummer Night's Dream?"
Shakespeare: This is a sequel.
Shakespeare: Here, put these on. [Tosses Link a blouse, tights, and shoes.]. Oh, and if you're going to duel, you can't duel with that sword. Here! [Tosses Link a rapier.]. Now HURRY UP AND GET DRESSED!
[Link goes off to get dressed and comes back out in costume, carrying the rapier].
Link: I look stupid.
Shakespeare: No you don't, my boy. You are going to be partaking in a dueling scene.
Link: Wow! Cool!
Shakespeare: No I wouldn't say it's cool. It's a little warm outside but that shouldn't affect your performance.
Link: No, Mr. Shakespeare. The word "cool" is also used in a slang term to mean something really great.
Shakespeare: Fantastic! I shall use that in writing the next scene!
Link: You mean that you haven't written the entire play yet?
Shakespeare: No, I'm writing scenes as we go along. It's easier for me.
Link: [Rolls his eyes]. Oh great...just great...
Shakespeare: Now my good boy, what's your name?
Link: My name's Link.
Shakespeare: Well not anymore. Your new name will be......Reginald Crates!
Link: What? That name is stupid!
Shakespeare: Well, the name "Link" isn't what I call "stageworthy."
Link: Oh all right. I'll go along with it.
Shakespeare: Good boy, Reginald! All right, let's start again. Reginald, you charge at John over there and you two start fighting. Meanwhile, think of some motivation or dialogue or something.
Link: Um, isn't that your job? After all, you're writing the play.
Shakespeare: Not really. I'm trying out something new. It's called "improv."
Link: Oh great...this play's gonna bomb.
[Link and John start fighting. Link starts making up lines.]
Link: That shall teacheth thee to steal my sheep!
John: This shall teacheth thee to keep thy gate closed!
[They continue to duel.].
Link: Taketh that, my mortal enemy!
John: Taketh this, my mortal enemy!
Link: I shall knocketh thee into next year!
Shakespeare: Good! Now stick your rapier under John's arm....so it looks like you killed him.
Link: Now I have thee! [sticks sword under John's arm].
John: You hath kill'd me, Reginald! But my brothers shall go after thee in revenge! [He feigns death].
Shakespeare: Very good, Reginald. Such natural acting talent! I shall mold you into a top-notch thespian!
John: That's very good for a beginner. I've never seen such talent!
Shakespeare: Reginald, how would you like to join our acting troupe?
Link: No I don't. For one thing, this is not organized, and another thing, MY NAME IS NOT REGINALD! [Runs backstage, changes back into his normal clothes and runs back onstage]. I'm going back home!
[Link is transported back home to Hyrule and lands in Hyrule Market.]
Zelda: Where were you, Link darling? Our children were waiting for you to take them to the Hyrule County Fair.
Link: All right, I'll go get them at the castle. But why are you here?
Zelda: I got us tickets to go see a play at the Hyrule Theatre. It's supposed to be an imrpov play called "A Midsummer Night's Nightmare."