Even If It Killed Him

By Ibonekoen

Once a Ranger, always a Ranger. At least. . .that’s how the saying goes. In reality, once you’ve served your time as a Power Ranger and are stripped of your powers. . .you just. . .kind of fade into oblivion. Oh sure, you’re listed in the archives so the new Rangers can learn your name and see all the stuff you did, but they don’t know you. You’re just a name and a face in a file.

Because, after three years of being the only thing standing between the Earth and total destruction, what’s left? What could possibly take the place of the adrenaline rush you get from morphing and going into battle?

And what if you weren’t ready to give up your powers? What if your new mentor gave you no choice?

That’s what happened to me and my friends when Dimitria decided we were too old to be Rangers anymore. I myself had gone through four power changes and switched from being the Black Ranger to the Green. Did I think I was too old? No way. Neither did Tommy, Tanya or Kat.

I always thought I looked better in black. Green. . .just. . .has too much history attached to it, what with Tommy and the whole Evil Green Ranger epic.

Oh yeah. I know all about that. When we first got the Zeo powers, I noticed Tommy flinching when he saw I was green.

So I asked Billy about it. I mean, Billy’s been around since Zordon first hand-picked teenagers to be his warriors and defend the Earth against crazy evil space invaders like Rita and Zedd. Surely he’d know why Tommy didn’t like the color green. And boy, did he. He explained everything that had happened. Now I understand why Tommy and Kat get along so well. They both know what it’s like to be manipulated by Rita.

Jeez, I’m taking a page out of Rocky’s book and getting off-track.

When Dimitria informed us that it was time to pass our powers along, I was very reluctant. I didn’t want to move on with my life. Being a Power Ranger was my life. It gave me a higher purpose. It filled me with honor and pride to know that I was part of the Earth’s only defense against evil space invaders.

Not to mention the adrenaline high associated with morphing. For that one brief moment as I’m metamorphosing into a spandex-clad hero, I feel like I can do anything.

And the spandex is an added treat.

Now, most of my friends think I’m this shy, timid creature who never thinks about sex but hey! I’m a guy, just like anybody else! Just because I don’t openly talk about it like Rocky and Tommy doesn’t mean I’m not interested. Besides, whenever we go into battle, I’m usually in the back of the line-up. . .and believe me, it has its advantages. Nobody notices you scoping out their ass.

Take Aisha, for example. I’ve known the girl all my life, since we were in diapers. I knew all the others guys in school thought she was hot, but I never really started looking at her until the first time we morphed. That girl can fill out her spandex.

Too bad she stayed in Africa. I really miss her.

Not that her replacement, Tanya, is bad or anything. She just doesn’t have ‘Sha’s curves. Or ‘Sha’s personality. But Tanya’s a sweetheart, and she’s pleasing to look at.

Kim. . .what to say about Kim? If I thought Aisha could fill out her spandex. . .Kim just makes it look like something out of Cosmo. But she was Tommy’s girl and I knew that meant hands off.

Same goes for Kat. Why does Tommy always get the hot ones?

Not that my tastes really run towards the girls. They’re nice to look at, but the one that really gets my engine revving is the Red Ranger.

Rocky Angel Hector DeSantos. My one true best friend. He was almost like my brother, we’d known each other so long.

And yet. . .

I didn’t view him as a brother. I’m not sure when it happened, but I started seeing him as a potential life mate.

But how could I tell him that? What if he wasn’t into guys? I mean, he’d been girl-chasing since we were old enough to date. Plus, I hadn’t talked to or seen him since he turned his powers over to Justin.

Man, I never knew I could miss somebody so much it hurt.

And yet, even though I missed Rocky so much, after Dimitria took away our powers, I still didn’t go to him. Why?

Because I was afraid. I hadn’t kept in contact with him, been too busy being a hero to millions and saving the world. I was afraid Rocky would be mad and push me away.

So I wandered. I worked as a stuntman, finding jobs with independent film makers, amusement parks, whoever was willing to pay for my services.

And I always felt a void in my life. It was caused partly because I pined for Rocky. . .and partly because I pined for the chance to be a Ranger again.

I missed it. The fighting, the thrills, the excitement, the adrenaline. The feel of knowing I had a hand in protecting the world’s citizens from total annihilation.

And then. . .I got a second chance.

My replacement, Carlos, had an accident. He hurt Cassie Chan, one of his teammates. Because of that, he felt he wasn’t fit to be a Ranger anymore.

And guess who stepped in to try and boost his confidence?

Got it in one--Adam Lucas Park, ex-Ranger.

It was pure dumb luck that I happened to be in the area when Carlos decided to go mano y mano with that Lizwizard monster. Seeing he was getting his ass handed to him, I decided to be a pal and lend a hand.

And then Carlos told me what had happened. And I decided to help. Because I remembered how I had felt when I was the newbie Ranger thrown headfirst into battle. I’d had the same insecurity. . .what if my actions resulted in someone’s death?

So I set up a training regiment, thinking that would help rebuild his confidence in his abilities. I guess it didn’t work quite like I’d intended, ‘cause the next thing I knew, Carlos was telling me he’d quit the team.

He quit. Just. . .turned in his morpher and communicator and walked away. Without being asked. All because of a stupid mistake that wasn’t his fault and couldn’t have been prevented.

Man, I’d give anything to be a Power Ranger again.

I still have my old morpher. The very first one I ever used. It’s a little charred in places and the coin’s cracked in half, but I couldn’t help but wonder if it still worked.

I asked Alpha about it. Of course, he freaked out and made me promise never to use it. And, like a good little ex-Ranger, I promised. After all, it was just a thought. Alpha seemed to accept that.

Little did he know, I’d had my fingers crossed behind my back. My promise was null and void. I had every intention of using that morpher, just to see if I could. I didn’t care if it killed me. I was that desperate to be a Ranger again.

And then. . .

The moment I’d been waiting for.

I had a chance to be a Ranger again.

Lizwizard attacked again, only this time, Carlos didn’t have his morpher. Luckily I did.

I whipped my morpher out of my bag and thrust it into the air, just like old times. I heard Alpha shouting at me to stop, but I ignored him.

And then I shouted the one word that would set me free and remake me into the Black Morphin Ranger, just like old times.

Mastodon!

And, with a blinding flash of light and a rush of power, I was on top of the world again.

That old morpher still had enough juice left in it. I was the Black Ranger once more.

And, damn, did it feel good to be back.

I was back and loving every minute of it. Lizwizard didn’t stand a chance against me.

And then pain. Cutting me to the bone. Filling me with nothing but earth-shattering pain.

Screaming. I could hear someone crying out, their voice filled with agony.

Oh yeah. I recognize that voice. It belongs to me.

Damn, I’ve never HURT like this. There’s nothing but me and the pain. Dimly I realize I’m phasing in and out of morphed and demorphed.

But Carlos still needs me. I have to keep it together. I have to protect him at all costs.

So I fight back. For as long as I can.

Alpha was right. Using that morpher could kill me. The pain is so maddening, I think I might just die where I stand.

And finally, the other Rangers show up to save the day.

Not my team. Carlos’.

They’re pretty good, the new guys. I gotta admit. But I still miss it.

And now Lizwizard’s been destroyed, I notice I’m completely demorphed. Still wracked with pain though. Carlos’ confidence is restored and he’s got his own morpher back.

And I’m slowly recovering from my morphing attempt. According to Alpha, the power coin was no longer connected to the Morphing Grid, so it had to find a new power source. The power source it chose? My life energies.

So, essentially, I was killing myself.

Do I regret it? Hell no! If I had the chance to do it all over again, I’d do everything exactly the same way.

Now if only I had the courage to tell Rocky how I feel.

******

Adam Park sighed and tapped the end of his pen against the open page of his journal. He stared out the window beside his desk and sighed. Recapping his pen, he let it drop onto his desk and leaned back in his chair, scrubbing his hands over his face.

He’d found out from Mrs. DeSantos that Rocky was living in Stone Canyon. Apparently he’d opened a dojo there. She’d even been so kind as to give him the address to her son’s apartment. All he had to do was jump into his car and start driving.

It seemed so simple. So why was he pacing the length of his bedroom instead of making tracks to Stone Canyon?

It all came down to Rocky. Though he wouldn’t admit it to anyone but himself and his journal, Adam was afraid of what Rocky’s reaction to him showing up on his doorstep would be.

But. . .there was always a chance, wasn’t there? A chance that Rocky might be so surprised Adam was there he’d forget to be mad and let him in?

He’d never know unless he tried.

With that in mind, Adam shrugged into his jacket and grabbed his car keys, which sat upon his nightstand.

He was going to see Rocky and tell him just exactly how he felt.

Even if it killed him.