A Night Out On the Town

By: firefly

Note: Hey there! After finishing my angsty and depressing fic, Spider Eyes, I decided to do my first Yu-Gi-Oh humor fic! ^_^ Warning though, extreme ridiculousness coming up! I hope you enjoy it! Please read and review, and have a nice day.

Oh wait! Can't forget the disclaimer!

*Elbows Tea who she has tied to a chair with a piece of tape over her mouth.*

Firefly: Oops, silly me! *rips the tape off not too gently*

Tea: Ow! Where am I! Who are you! WHAT'S GOING ON!

Firefly: *elbows her again with a nervous look on her face* Just say the stupid disclaimer…don't make me do something you'll regret!

Tea: *gulp* All you authors are the same…

Firefly: *elbows her again*

Tea: Ouch! Okay, okay! Firefly does not own Yu-Gi-Oh. Now please, can I go?

Firefly: *smiling* Nope, now the rest of you, go on and read!

Tea: Help me…

A Night Out On the Town

"No…this can't be right!" Tea exclaimed in horror, staring at the paper she held in her hands as she jumped up from her desk, making Yugi glance at her in surprise.

"What is it, Tea? Didn't you pass?" Yugi asked, brandishing his report card in her pale face, a big grin on his face. "Look at what I got! An 89 in history! Someone up there loves me!"

"Hey, what's crackin?" Joey suddenly said, strolling over to their desks, a cheerful look on his face, with an ecstatic Tristan hopping up and down next to him.

"Hey Joey, what did you get in math, did you pass?" Yugi asked, anxiously, knowing that Joey had been working really hard lately to get a better mark, or at least a passing one.

Joey flipped the report card over and shoved it in front of Yugi's face, a proud grin on his face.

"77 baby!" Joey said proudly, doing a little dance, and with that, he started singing really loudly and off key. "I AM THE CHAMPION! I AM THE CHAMPION! NO TIME FOR LOSERS! CUZ I AM THE CHAMPION!"

Yugi blinked before he turned his gaze to Tristan, who was still hopping up and down near Joey, too ecstatic to speak, his face starting to turn blue, his excitement getting the better of him.

"I…passed…English!" Tristan squeaked out, before he jumped up on the desk and did his own happy dance. "No summer school for this desperado! Hahahahahaha!"

"Hey Ryou!" Joey called, shoving Tristan off the desk as Ryou strolled over to them, having got his report card from the teacher. "How'd you do?"

Ryou gave them all a pleased smile and raised the report card in front of Joey's face.

"I have an average of 92. I think that's enough to be happy about." Ryou said, modestly, earning a look of astonishment from the rest of them, especially Tea.

"B-but! How can that be! You were absent about forty times this year!" Tea exclaimed, furious at the fact that she had been beaten.

"Forty three, to be exact," Ryou said, thoughtfully, shrugging at her. "My Yami has nothing better to do after he knocks the stuffing out of me, so sometimes he just does my homework when I can't do it myself."

"Aw…that's not fair!" Tea whined, pouting. "My Yami never helps ME with MY homework!"

"Uh, Tea?" Yugi said meekly, raising one hand in the air. "You don't have a Yami…"

Tea looked at them all with a nervous smile on her face. "Yeah…silly me, heh heh…anyway! How could I possibly fail Geography! That means I have to go to…to…" she stammered, her eyes wide with terror.

"SUMMER SCHOOL!" Tristan and Joey chorused, earning a smack each from Tea.

"You didn't have to remind me!" She shrieked, making them cower, as Yugi and Ryou snickered to themselves in the corner.

"Hey, chill out!" Joey said, defensively, rubbing his face.

"Yeah, don't worry Tea," Yugi said reassuringly as she collapsed in a chair with a moan of anguish. "You'll get through summer school. It's not hard; I had a cousin who went there once."

Tea blinked and suddenly imagined a horrible mental image of a much dopier and goofier version of Yugi who had buck teeth and walked around with hiked up pants with his finger in his nose.

Wailing, she started to bang her head against the table.

"Why! Why me? How could I fail GEOGRAPHY!" She cried, thumping her forehead against the table.

"Maybe because she's destroyed too many brain cells from using that method as a pain reliever," Ryou whispered to Yugi, who nodded back, a slightly disturbed look on his face as they stared at Tea who continued to bang her head against the desk.

"Or maybe it's cause she's got no sense of direction!" Joey exclaimed, earning a death glare from Tea who took the time to raise her head and look at him.

"I'm doomed," she whispered, staring straight ahead with a glazed over look.

"Hey, listen," Tristan suddenly said, standing up. "I know about a new bar that just opened down town. It's all the buzz down there, it's got a karaoke joint, a small casino, a sports room for the guys AND one for the gals! What do you say? We can go out to celebrate, and Tea can go to get drunk and forget her problems!"

"Tristan!" Yugi said, aghast, staring at him with wide eyes. "We can't drink! We're underage!"

"Don't worry about it!" Tristan said, winking. "I got it covered." Looking both ways in the classroom to see if anyone was looking, he opened his jacket and suddenly flashed his friends, making them all scream.

"TRISTAN!" Ryou shrieked. "What are you doing! I'm scarred for life!"

"Hey, don't act like you don't like it!" Tristan said slyly, winking, making Ryou's face turn a pale green.

Seeing the pukey look on his friends' faces, he sighed.

"It was a joke…" he said, unconvincingly. Sighing again as they exchanged looks, he opened one side of his jacket, revealing a whole bunch of fake identification cards.

Pulling four out, he handed one to each of them, a proud grin on his face.

"Ew! I'm supposed to be some guy named Arty!" Yugi whined, showing the card to Tristan, the card having a picture of some nerdy looking guy with glasses whose face looked as if it were permanently scarred with pimples.

"And this is a picture of Monica Lewinsky!" Tea yelled, brandishing the card in front of Tristan's face. "I'm no hoe, Tristan!"

"And this guy doesn't look anything like me!" Ryou protested, showing his friend's a picture of some skinny, freaky looking guy with platinum blonde hair, his face decorated with many piercings and an eye patch.

"Yeah! And my name ain't Fat Joe and I don't weigh 350 pounds!" Joey yelled, staring at the picture of a bald guy wearing a dirty white tank top on his card.

"Hey! I did as best as I could! And besides, these are the ones that look most like you," Tristan said calmly, before he turned and led them out of the room after the bell rang.

"So, what do you guys say? Wanna have fun?" Tristan said, excitedly, looking at them all expectantly.

"I'm up for it!" Joey exclaimed, before he turned to look at Yugi, a pleading look in his eyes.

"Come on Yug! It sounds awesome! Please say yes!" Joey begged, putting his hands together in front of Yugi's face.

Yugi looked doubtful at first, until he looked down at his puzzle, his face breaking into a big grin.

"You know what, I say yeah!" Yugi exclaimed, earning a high five from Joey and Tristan. "And besides, I think Yami will enjoy it, he never gets out."

"What other choice do I have…?" Tea said miserably, staring as at the report card in her hands. "From the mark I got today…it looks like that's where I'm gonna be spending the rest of my days, downing beers and buying pretzels…"

"Ryou?" Tristan asked, a hopeful look on his face.

Ryou looked hesitant at first. "My Yami would love it, I know that. He's drunk all the wine my father stores in the cellar, and it doesn't even make him the slightest bit woozy. Well, I guess I'll be the sober one who'll end up taking each of you home in a cab."

"All right!" Joey and Tristan exclaimed, slapping Ryou on the back, who in turn smiled meekly.

"I sure hope these I.D's work," Tristan muttered to himself, as they headed down the hallway and outside. "I mean, I did just cut the pictures out of a most wanted poster…"

"What?" Yugi asked, managing to overhear the words most wanted and work.

"Uh…I was just talking to myself. I was saying, man, those most wanted posters really work, don't they! Heh…heh…" Tristan stuttered, his left eye twitching. But Yugi, being the extremely naïve person that he is, shrugged, believing him in an instant as they headed home.

"Whew!" Tristan thought to himself out loud. That was a close one…and I wonder who the new owner of the bar is anyway…?

"I'm suddenly having second thoughts…" Ryou muttered to himself as they all stood in line outside the new karaoke bar, flashing lights and deafening music reverberating off the walls.

"What kind of a place is this!" Yami Bakura demanded, slightly dazed as he stared at the mesmerizing flashing lights, his vision slightly distorted.

"I told you, Yami!" Ryou shouted over the loud music. "It's a place where people go to have fun!"

Wrinkling his nose in distaste at the obnoxiously loud music that continued to assault their ears, he gave Ryou a hopeful look.

"Will there be wine?"

Ryou sighed. "Yes Yami, more than you could dream of."

"Goody…" he murmured to himself, an evil look on his face, as the line moved up and they were second in line with the rest of the group.

"Man! This is gonna be awesome!" Joey exclaimed, standing beside the equally excited Tristan as they held their fake I.D's ready.

"I don't see how this will be amusing," Yami Yugi said, stubbornly, as Yugi tried to drag him closer to the entrance, a sulky Tea by their side.

"Oh come on, Yami!" Yugi protested, giving him his infamous puppy dog look. "For me? Pwease…?"

Yami's right eye twitched slightly as he stared at the adorable little face of his aibou. Crumbling under the pleading look, he sighed, nodding his head, only to be glomped by his ecstatic aibou.

As soon as they got to the front of the line, where they expected a huge guy named Tiny guarding the entrance, their jaws dropped in absolute shock when they saw the person waiting there at the entrance.

"MOKUBA!" They all shouted at the same time, as the little brother of Seto Kaiba grinned up at them, dressed up in a purple silk Armani tuxedo, a pair of Gucci sunglasses on his face.

"Hey, wassup?" He asked, pushing the glasses up on his head as he regarded his friends with a big grin.

"Mokuba? What are you doing here! This is a BAR!" Joey yelled over the noise.

"Yeah I know! Seto owns it!" Mokuba exclaimed, making the group face fault.

"KAIBA! He owns this bar!" Tristan screamed, his voice barely finding its way to Mokuba's ears.

"Yep! Big brother decided to make it right after his stock dropped by 12 percent! He decided that he needed more fun in life!" Mokuba giggled, before pushing the fancy glasses back down on his nose, crossing his arms.

"Okay, don't tell anyone else, but you guys can get in for free! Seto won't mind!" Mokuba shouted, being incredibly generous as he nodded to two guards blocking the entrance.

"Phil, Paul, let 'em in," he commanded in a very authorizing voice before he grinned at them all and winked, cocking a finger at them and clicking his teeth.

"Have a good time guys," he said, ushering them in, waving to them as they disappeared inside.

"Is Kaiba mad!" Yami shouted to Yugi as they somehow managed to struggle through the crowd and find a large glass table to sit at. "Letting Mokuba guard the entrance! He didn't even check if we were licensed!"

They all slid into the booth, Yami Bakura being forced to sit next to the Pharaoh by Ryou, who had a stern look on his face as he stared down at the two cranky Egyptian spirits.

"Now you two, behave!" He commanded. "I'm the one who's going to end up dragging you all home, and I expect no trouble from the two of you!"

"Whatever, Aibou! Where's the wine!" Bakura demanded, banging the table with his fists. Sighing, Ryou took a seat next to Yugi and put his head in his hands, blowing a lock of white hair out of his face.

As soon as Ryou took a seat, a waitress made her way over to them, wearing something that even made Yami Yugi stare. She smiled at them deviously, her red hair tied up in a sleek bun with two black chop sticks, her body adorned with black silk in a very classy arrangement.

"Hi!" She shouted to them, over the loud beat of the music. "I'm Rachel! I'll be taking your order! I hope you enjoy yourselves here!" And with that, she approached close to the table, leaning over Ryou, allowing him a full view of her…um, assets, making the boy blush furiously as he moved closer to Yugi, trying to get away from the flaunty waitress.

"Ryou…you're squishing…me!" Yugi squeaked.

"Take your time, I'm in no rush," she added, smirking at Yami as she placed the menu in front of his shocked face. "I'll see you later…"

As soon as she left, Ryou went back to his seat, his face still blazing as the rest of the guys just stared at the retreating waitress, practically drooling.

"Wow…now that's what I call a hot mama!" Tristan exclaimed, whistling.

"Yeah, Kaiba may be a jerk but he sure knows how to pick the ladies…" Joey mumbled, his eyes wide.

Yugi, having been squished by Ryou, had taken no notice of the waitress and stared at his Yami, confused, as the Pharaoh stared off in the direction in which she had left.

"Yami, are you okay!" Yugi yelled in his Yami's face.

"They didn't have any fire hair colored women back in Egypt…" Yami replied with wide eyes, only to be elbowed in the gut by Tea, who hadn't said anything in the entire time that they had arrived.

She was tired of their antics, and she was desperate for a stiff drink. And…she hated to admit it, but she felt a slight twinge of jealousy as she noticed Yami gawking at the waitress.

"Get outta my way, Pharaoh Boy!" She snarled, making them jump, before she climbed up on the table, walked across it with defiant strides and jumped off, much to everyone's shock.

"Tea! You're gonna get us thrown out!" Tristan exclaimed, half amused and half concerned as Tea flicked her hair at them, before she headed down a flight of stairs and to the main bar.

"What's the matter with her?" Yami said, snapping out of his trance, giving Yugi a concerned look.

"WHAT!" Yugi shouted, plugging his ears.

"Ah to hell with you fools! I'm going down there! I want my wine!" Bakura yelled, following Tea's example as he pulled his arms and legs out from between Yami and Yugi and climbed onto the table, before jumping down and departing down the stairs.

Ryou stared after his Yami, a blunt look on his face.

"I better go after him, I don't want him harassing the bartender," Ryou muttered, before he politely asked Yugi to get up so he could leave and go after his insane Yami.

"Yeah, what are we sittin' here for?" Joey exclaimed, before pulling Tristan out with him. "Let's get down on the dance floor! You guys can wait for that red head all you want but I'm bettin' that there are way more girls down there!"

Before Yami and Yugi could reply, they were gone, howling at any girl that walked by them.

"Hey Yami, what red head?" Yugi said, confused, as his Yami's face flushed red.

"Never mind Aibou," Yami stammered, blushing, as he ushered Yugi out of the booth, rising to his feet.

"Let's go after them. Ryou might need some help controlling that tomb robber." Yami replied, relieved as they headed down the stairs, but not before he cast a woeful glance at the table they had just left.

"Gimme!" Bakura demanded, plopping himself down on a stool, his eyes narrowed expectedly on the bartender, who just blinked at him, confused.

"Uh, okay. What would you like?" He asked, politely.

Bakura rolled his eyes, growling his impatience. "Wine! What else!"

"What else? Oh, this bar's got the biggest variety of drinks in town! You have tons to choose from, wine's only a tiny part of the selection!" The bartender said, trying hard to promote the bar's reputation.

At this news, Bakura smirked slightly, leaning forward. "Is that so…? Well, give me your strongest!"

The bartender cocked an eyebrow at the tomb robber, giving him a look over. "Eh, no offence buddy, but I don't think you have the body composition capable for handling the capacity of alcohol within our strongest drinks…"

Before another word could come out of the bartender's mouth, Bakura grabbed him by his shirt and pulled him forward, a displeased look on his face.

"I SAID, I want your strongest drink…" he said between clenched teeth, making the bartender gulp before he released him.

"Now do your job and get me it before I seal you in the Shadow Realm!" Bakura screamed at him, making the terrified man run towards bottles of alcohol that decorated the shelves behind him.

Smirking in satisfaction, Bakura crossed his arms, awaiting his drink when his Aibou suddenly took a seat on the stool next to him, a suspicious look on his face.

"You've behaved yourself so far, right?" Ryou asked, slightly afraid of hearing his crazy Yami's answer.

Turning his head slowly, he grinned slightly, flashing his sharp eye teeth at his Aibou.

"Oh course I am…Aibou." He purred, making Ryou edge away from him a few inches.

Turning his attention back to the bartender that approached him, Bakura cocked an eyebrow when the bartender set a tiny little shot glass in front of him which was half full of a harmless looking amber brown liquid which had wispy lines of alcohol swimming through it.

"What the hell is this!" Bakura demanded, disgusted at the miniscule amount of alcohol.

"It's our strongest drink, sir," the bartender said, fearfully, as Bakura raised it to his eye level and peered at the dark liquid.

"Be careful Yami," Ryou warned, as Bakura continued to examine the drink. "Don't underestimate the size of that! If I took one sip of that stuff, I wouldn't wake up for two days!"

"That's because you're a weakling," Bakura replied, raising the glass to his lips.

The bartender heard Ryou and looked at him, blinking in shock when he saw an exact double of Bakura. Shaking his head, he muttered the word 'twins' under his breath. Before anyone else could say a word, Bakura tilted the glass completely upside down and forced the liquid down his throat.

Swallowing it without the slightest bit of hesitation, he slammed the glass back down on the counter with a shocked look on his face as the horribly strong sweet and bitter taste erupted in his mouth and burned his throat.

Coughing slightly, a big grin suddenly appeared on his face before he cast his gaze on the astonished bartender, who had expected Bakura to drop like a sack of potatoes in ten seconds.

"Now THAT…is a drink!" Bakura said, cackling insanely as the alcohol immediately started to take effect. Shoving the glass into the bartender's hands, he yelled at him to get him another one.

Ryou shook his head at his Yami downed the second glass, before he turned his gaze on Tea who sat in the corner, her back against the wall as she sipped from a giant mug of English beer, a depressed look on her face, and before Ryou had realized it, she had finished the whole glass and was now muttering to the bartender for another.

"Uh…I think you've had enough, ma'am. This is your third glass," another bartender said, slightly concerned as Tea stared at him through half-lidded eyes, hiccupping.

Unexpectedly, she grabbed him by the front of his shirt and began to shake him furiously.

"I'LL TELL YOU WHEN I'VE HAD ENOUGH!" She shrieked, before she released the poor man and buried her face in her arms, her shoulders shaking. Getting up from the floor, the bartender put a tentative hand on her shoulder in a sign of comfort, before he slowly shook his head and went to retrieve another beer.

"Wait…" Tea mumbled, raising her head. "Make that a Margarita…"

Ryou shook his head in dismay at Tea's state before he turned his disturbed gaze back on his Yami, who was now giggling to himself, downing glass after glass of vodka.

"Uh, don't you want to try something different now?" The bartender asked, fearfully, as he watched the vodka drain into Bakura's mouth. "You've had six shots already, and there's plenty more."

"You know what? You're right!" Bakura yelled, incoherently, dropping the glass to the floor. "Gimme something else!"

"Is tequila okay?"

"Yeah…yeah… tea quit a…is just *hic* dandy!"

"Is there a hole in my pants, or are you just admirin' my ass?" Joey cat called to the brunette that just walked past him, disgusted as he stumbled around the dance floor, a bloody Mary in his hand.

"Hey! Don't act like you don't like it!" Tristan hooted, giggling as he swallowed the glass of Piccadilly Punch he clutched with both hands.

"Pig!" A girl yelled, before slapping him across the face, making Tristan stumble back and bump into someone.

"Sorry bout that man…" he mumbled, turning around, dropping his drink in shock when he saw who stood there.

"Well, well, if it ain't the Scooby gang and their dog…" Seto said dryly, crossing his arms as he stared at Joey and Tristan with a cocked eyebrow. "I have to stop Mokuba from letting in every other person he recognizes."

"Hey Kaiba! Buddy!" Joey slurred, stumbling over to him before he draped one of his arms around Kaiba's shoulder, who wrinkled his nose at the smell of alcoholic tomato juice coming from Joey.

"This is an awweessssommmmeee bar!" He mumbled, giggling, before his face became serious and he looked up at him, pointing.

"I have somethin' to tell you, Kaiba," Joey muttered, his voice barely audible over the loud music. "I decided to let ya marry my sister…"

"What!" Kaiba exclaimed in shock, shoving Joey away from him. "I think you two have had too much to drink! I haven't even met your sister!"

"EH! Don't act like dat!" Joey shouted, before he put an arm around Tristan this time, barely realizing his actions. "I saw da way you were lookin' at her…you sly dog! Hey…look at me when I'm talkin' to you! Serenity likes ya! And she says, she says, Joey, big brodder, ain't that Kaiba guy cute? And I says! I says! Sure he is Serenity! And she says...uh…she says…" Joey squinted at Seto, as if trying to remember.

"Forget it guys, no more for you," Seto said sternly, wrenching the glasses out of their hands before he muttered to a nearby guard to make sure they couldn't get their hands on anymore alcohol.

"It was nice seeing ya!" Tristan called, before he and Joey both went back to harassing the women as the song suddenly changed to Madonna's, A Ray of Light.

"I love this song!" Joey exclaimed, getting many odd glances from the men, as he stumbled away from Tristan and began to dance surprisingly well, despite his drowsiness from the alcohol.

"Yeah! Go Joey! Go Joey! WHOOO!" Tristan howled, as a large circle of cheering females soon surrounded Joey, who continued to dance up a storm.

"This is like some kind of a drug hallucination!" Yugi said with wide eyes as he and his Yami stood at the foot of the stairs leading to the top floor, their eyes on the yelling, dancing people, and the multi-colored lights and smoke that roamed around the room.

"What in the name of Ra are Joey and Tristan doing?" Yami suddenly said, bewildered, as he caught sight of Joey doing many weird movements out on the dance floor, Tristan hopping up and down clapping his hands as many women, one by one were pulled out of the crowd by the rambunctious Joey and joined his dancing.

Yugi giggled, seeing the shocked look on his Yami's face.

"They're dancing! I didn't know Joey could do that!" Yugi said, impressed when Joey lifted a girl over his head and started to twirl before he expertly threw her in the air and caught her in his arms, before he released her and pulled another one in to dance with him.

"There's Ryou and Bakura," Yami pointed out, before they started towards them.

"Hey Ryou, having fun?" Yugi asked, cheerfully, oblivious to the miserable look on Ryou's face as the white-haired teen watched his Yami swallow a whole glass of Fantasia Cocktail, olive and all.

"Hey!" Bakura yelled, unnaturally loud as he pulled Yami down next to him, much to everyone's surprise. "Pharaoh! You haven't lived till you try this *hic* stuff!"

Yami looked at the many different glasses of alcohol set before the tomb robber with hesitation, which Bakura saw and used to his advantage.

"Never mind!" He said in a sing-song voice as he reached for a glass, waving it in front of the pharaoh's face tauntingly. "I don't think that even the great old pharaoh could take one of these and stay conscious!"

That did it.

Yami, being the incredibly strong-headed person that he is, grabbed the drink from Bakura, who grinned in return, his eyes wide.

"Get on with it! Or are you too afraid you'll make an embarrassment out of yourself?" Bakura taunted, only fueling Yami's determination to prove him wrong.

"Yami! Don't overdo it! Okay?" Yugi said, concerned, putting a hand on his Dark's arm. Yami paused, shooting a side glance at the concerned look on his Hikari's face.

"Don't worry, Aibou," he said smirking, before he turned his gaze back on Yami Bakura. "Just one, I promise, I just have to prove that I'm as much of a man as he is."

"Well, cheers to that!" Bakura cackled, before tapping his own glass against Yami's.

Without a word, Yami tilted his head back and swallowed the brandy that had once been in the shot glass, gulping it all down without choking.

The results were immediate. Just like Bakura, Yami's eyes went wide at the incredibly strong flavor, and his throat burned with a strange heat as it teased his taste buds, the taste not exactly appealing but not bad, either, as if tempting him to try another to determine whether it was good or not.

Coughing, Yami shakily dropped the glass back onto the counter, earning a slap on the back from Yami Bakura who was laughing now more than ever.

"Ha! The pharaoh proved me wrong! Here's to that!" The tomb robber giggled, before grabbing a Manhattan Whiskey and swallowing it in one go.

Yami cleared his throat, shaking his head as the alcohol immediately went to his brain. Turning, he blinked as he spotted Tea sitting at the very end of the bar, away from everyone else as she threw her head back, forcing a glass of Bouncy Bear Bourbon down her throat.

Seeing his Yami's surprised face, Yugi followed his Yami's gaze and blinked in astonishment as he spotted Tea yelling at the bartender for more.

"Yeah," Ryou sighed, seeing their gazes on the depressed Tea. "She's been going at it as long as my Yami. I dare say, she's just as woozy as he is."

"Oh man," Yugi said, concerned, as he winced as Tea scrunched up her face at the bitter flavor of the scotch she had just swallowed. "I knew she was upset with her mark, but I didn't know she was that depressed. I better go stop her."

Ryou and Yami watched apprehensively as Yugi managed to struggle through the dancing crowd and towards Tea. Finally managing to get through the crowd, Yugi took a seat next to his childhood friend, frowning in concern when she took no notice of his presence and dipped her finger in her drink, before placing her finger in her mouth, her depressed gaze on her shoes.

"Hi Tea," Yugi started cautiously, as she sighed, dipping her finger within the foamy beer that she clutched in her hand.

Blinking, dazed, she slowly raised her foggy eyes and smiled at him, looking completely stoned out of her mind.

"Hiya Yugi," She hiccupped, a drunken smile on her face. "How's life?"

"Uh…fine," Yugi said, unsurely. "Tea, I think you've had too much to drink. I'm worried about you."

Tea dismissed his words with a wave of her hand. "Whatcha talkin' about? I only had…um, six?" she mumbled as she raised the glass to her lips again.

"Tea!" Yugi yelled, trying to sound as scolding as possible as he wrenched the glass from her hands. "What you're doing is not healthy! You might get sick!"

Tea stared at him, a dazed and surprised look on her face, and unexpectedly, she leaned forward, putting her arm around Yugi's shoulder, a strange look of contempt on her face.

"You know what…you've been my friend since we were, like, five…?" Tea mumbled, leaning on him heavily, as Yugi tried his best to support her without falling to the ground.

"And you know what? I think I'm gonna tell you now Yugi Mutou, I always wanted to…but I never had the guts," Tea slurred, a drunk smile on her face as she leaned her head against Yugi's shoulder, who just blinked at her in surprise.

"What?" He asked, curious.

"You know that guy…sittin' over there?" Tea whispered, jerking her thumb back over her shoulder. Yugi turned his head and saw that she was pointing at his Yami, who was trying to get Bakura to unhand the jar of olives he had taken when the bartender wasn't looking and was now trying to throw at people.

"You mean, Yami?" Yugi asked, raising his brows in amusement at the sight of his Yami wrestling the jar of olives away from Yami Bakura.

"Yeah, him. I gotta tell you a secret…" Tea whispered again, in Yugi's ear. "I got the hots for that guy…"

Yugi froze, his eyes going unnaturally wide as Tea giggled like a hysterical school girl as she pulled herself off of him, getting to her unsteady feet with the beer mug clenched in her fists.

"You…?" Yugi started, his voice coming out as a squeak as he stared at Tea, as she swallowed the rest of the beer in her mug. "Have the…the…h-h-h-…" he couldn't bring himself to say it, so Tea finished for him.

"That's right! The moment I saw him, I was smitten! All that leather, the confidence! The power…could drive any girl crazy!" Tea giggled, patting the pale and shocked Yugi on the head like he was some kind of a dog.

"You know what? I think I'm gonna tell him!" Tea suddenly exclaimed, stumbling away from Yugi and through the crowd. Yugi stared at the spot where she had been standing, a few moments before, until he turned and nearly fainted when he saw Tea climbing up on the karaoke platform.

And meanwhile, on the other side of the bar…

"Give me that you blasted tomb robber!" Yami yelled as Bakura stood on the bar counter, clutching the bag of the little umbrellas you were supposed to put in the tropical drinks.

"Nuh uh! These are mine!" Bakura yelled back, completely out of it as he stumbled down the counter, somehow managing to avoid stepping on other drunks who had collapsed against the counter.

"Yami! Please come down from there! You're going to get us into trouble!" Ryou shouted, panicking as he saw his Yami slip on the shiny linoleum surface of the counter and go falling into the laps of a group of women who shrieked in surprise, dropping Bakura to the floor as they scrambled to their feet and ran off.

Seeing his chance, Yami grabbed the bag of the tiny umbrellas as Bakura grabbed the edge of the counter, lifting himself to his feet, a confused look on his face.

"Who took my darts!" He demanded, looking around, disoriented, not even noticing it as Yami calmly handed the umbrellas back to the nervous bartender.

Yami opened his mouth, ready to use his mind crush on Bakura to put him out of his misery when he heard all the people in the bar erupt into cheers, hooting wildly. Turning, his mouth dropped open in astonishment when he saw Tea climb up onto the stage, staggering toward the microphone as a loud techno dance beat started up, flashing lights and smoke making their way up on the karaoke stage as Tea grabbed the mike, pointing directly at Yami.

"La la la! La la la la la! La la la! La la la la la!" Tea lip synced, prancing around the stage as the crowd erupted into cheers as Kylie Minogue's song "I can't get you out of my head" started to blare out from the speakers.

Yami swallowed, his eyes huge with shock as Tea stopped in the middle of the stage and started to dance, pointing at Yami as she started the main chorus of the song.

"I just can't get you out of my head!

Boy, your loving is all I think about!

I just can't get you out of my head!

Boy it's more than I dare to think about!" Tea sang, as Ryou and Bakura stood near Yami, blinking in shock at Tea who expertly danced to the song, doing the very not so modest moves that were in the original video.

"Tea's lost it…" Ryou mumbled, with wide eyes as she skipped around the stage, pulling her denim jacket off and throwing it into the crowd, as the "La la" part started up again.

"Heh heh…oh Pharrrrraooooooh!" Bakura said in a sing song voice as he elbowed the shocked Yami in the side. "Still got it, don't ya!"

"Every night…!

Ev…ery day!

Just…to be there…in your arms!" Tea sang, winking at Yami who was starting to develop what looked like the mother of all blushes on his face.

"Won't you staaay…?

Won't you laaay?

Stay forever…and ever, and ever, and ever…!

La la la!

La la la la la!

La la la!

La la la la la!

La la la!

La la la la la!

La la la!

La la la la la!

I just can't get you out of my head!

Boy your loving is all I think about!

I just can't get you out of my head!

Boy it's more than I dare to think about!

Theerre's a dark…seeecret in me…

Don't, leave me locked, in your heart…!

Set me freee…!

Feel the neeed in me…!

Set me freee…!

Stay forever, and ever, and ever, and ever…!" Tea sang, before she turned, and to Ryou, and Yami's even further shock, she fell backwards into the surging crowd, who supported her weight and threw her into the air as the "La la" routine started up again.

The shocking thing was that two of the people within the crowd carrying Tea above their shoulders were Tristan and Joey, and before Yami knew it, they had lowered her to her feet and she was soon standing right in front of him, as she sang out the last verse as the "La la" continued to play in the background, getting quieter as the song slowly finished.

"I just can't get you out of my head!" She sang once more, her face flushed, the song continuing without her when she suddenly went limp on her feet, the flushed, sparkly-eyed look still on her face as she slowly keeled over in front of Yami and fell to the ground with a thump.

Yami stared down at Tea's unconscious form with a blank look on his face as Yami Bakura started to giggle hysterically from behind him.

Yami didn't even acknowledge Yugi who came up to him and stood by his side, to stare at Tea who continued to lie there, a drunk smile on her face.

"I think you got the message, Yami," Yugi mumbled.

Yami only nodded slowly in return, his face still blazing red as the two slowly knelt down and grabbed Tea by her arms, dragging her over to a chair as Yami Bakura went back to drinking, only to be interrupted when a tough looking guy that looked as if he ate tire rubber for breakfast approached, a cocky smirk on his face.

"Hey, you!" He said, poking Bakura in the shoulder who glanced at him as out of the corner of his eyes as he finished off another shot of scotch.

"Yeah, whaddaya want you pathetic mortal?" Bakura replied lazily, as he beckoned to the bartender to give him another.

"I challenge you to a drinking contest. I got some major bucks ridin' on this, so you better accept," the tough guy said, warningly, pounding his fist into his other hand.

Bakura swiveled his stool around to face the guy who took a seat next to him, with crossed arms, his sunglasses sliding down on his big nose.

Yami Bakura's eye twitched when Ryou shook his head at him furiously from the side, gesturing for him to not accept, his actions completely ignored by Bakura, who just smirked evilly at the tough guy, and nodded.

"You're on. Barry, my humble bartender, be so kind to give us both a shot of your strongest vodka," Bakura asked, the alcohol affecting his usually rude manners.

"Sure thing, sir," Barry the bartender said unsurely, secretly hoping that Bakura would win the duel, because word of this tough guy known as Doug had been spread about town, saying that he liked to cause fights in every bar he went to.

Grabbing the glasses, the two opponents smirked at each other as a crowd soon gathered, starting to cheer and make bets on who would win, the majority of the people betting on Doug, having seen Bakura drink for the past hour without stopping.

The crowd cheered as they both threw their heads back and swallowed the vodka whole, setting their glasses down for more as they stared each other down.

"More." Bakura demanded.

Barry obliged and filled their glasses, the two raising the glasses to their lips before they repeated the same action, this time getting a cough out of Doug, which caused the crowd to hiss in dismay as Bakura smirked at him, completely unhindered.

"What's the matter? Not smooth enough for ya?" Bakura cackled as Doug glared at him, wiping his mouth before he barked at Barry for another shot.

Ryou watched, a panicky look on his face as he watched his Yami and Doug drink until the bottle which was once full of vodka was now reduced to a few drops left at the bottom, enough to fill one more glass.

Doug swayed in his chair, practically drooling as Bakura struggled to stay conscious. The crowd held their breaths as the two stared at each other. It was obvious that Doug was unable to take anymore, one more shot and he'd explode, and much to everyone's shock and to Barry's amusement, Bakura grabbed the bottle of the vodka that Barry held, put the spout in his mouth and leaned his head back, swallowing every last drop as one half of the people in the crowd erupted into cheers while the others grumbled their disappointment.

The crowd pushed Doug out of the way as Bakura leaned back so far he fell off his stool, laughing in triumph.

"Yami! Yami, are you all right!" Ryou demanded, rushing over to his fallen half, leaning over him. And Doug, so drunk that he couldn't tell the difference between Ryou and Bakura, grabbed Ryou and yanked him up and off of his feet, raising his fist in the air.

"You little twerp! I'll show you!" He yelled, as Ryou yelped, hiding his face with his hands, ready to be knocked senseless when he heard his Yami shout.

"Hey! Unhand my Aibou!"

And then he heard the sound of glass shattering and he removed his hands from his eyes only to see an empty beer bottle being smashed over Doug's head.

"Nobody, and I mean NOBODY, is allowed to beat up on him 'cept me!" Bakura yelled, infuriated as he grabbed Doug by his collar and with his supernatural strength, he threw him across the bar and through a wooden table.

The crowd erupted into raucous laughter and hooting, as Bakura wiped his mouth and turned to his wide-eyed Aibou, who stared at him with a shocked look on his face.

"What are you lookin' at?" Bakura said, slightly uncomfortable as Ryou broke into a smile.

"I can't believe you said that! That's the nicest thing you've ever said about me!" Ryou exclaimed, only to yelp in surprise when Doug suddenly appeared from behind Yami Bakura, holding a chair over his head.

"Yami! Look out!" Ryou yelled, as Bakura blinked at him, too late to prevent the chair that smashed into his back.

Doug stood back, satisfied when Bakura fell to the floor, Ryou rushing to his side looking horrified.

"Yami! Are you okay! Can you hear me!" Ryou demanded anxiously as his Yami lay face down on the floor, motionless, until he groaned.

"That son of a bitch…" He mumbled, barely audible, about to get to his feet when Ryou suddenly had an ingenious idea spring into his mind, and before the rambunctious crowd and the drunken Doug could notice the rising Yami Bakura, Ryou quickly pushed him back to the floor, before whispering to his Yami to stay down.

"Just lay still, Yami," Ryou whispered, a very uncharacteristic smirk on his face. "I got an idea, trust me."

Yami Bakura was too drunk and dizzy to argue so he just laid his grateful head back on the hard floor as Ryou put his acting skills to the test, ready to cause a major scene.

Doug was grinning and slapping his friends high fives, the crowd hissing and booing at the cheap shot Doug had given Bakura, when he suddenly heard Ryou fake a hysterical shriek.

"Oh my God! OH MY GOD!" Ryou screeched, staring at his Yami's still body with a grief-stricken look on his face. "HOW COULD YOU!"

"He'll get over it!" Doug chortled, earning laughter from the crowd, only to be interrupted by an even louder and more frantic scream from Ryou, who was trying very hard not to laugh.

"H-he's not breathing! I-I CAN'T FEEL HIS PULSE! What have you done! OH GOD! OH GOD! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!" Ryou sobbed, forcing very realistic tears to flow from his eyes as he threw himself over his Yami's body, crying hysterically.

The crowd became quiet suddenly, the music and dancing abruptly coming to a halt as they realized that Yami Bakura had not yet risen to his feet and as they heard Ryou's words. Ryou glanced up for a split-second to look at Paul's face, and was delighted when he saw the tough guy's face become slightly pale.

"W-what are you talkin' about twerp? He a-ain't dead…" Doug stammered, forcing a nervous smile as he looked for support from the crowd, who only blinked in return, anxious looks on their faces.

Ryou laid his face against his Yami's chest, sobbing hysterically, clenching his shirt in his hands, when he slowly raised his tear-stained face to Doug, who was starting to look panicky.

"Do you have any idea…what you've done…?" Ryou whimpered, looking so pathetically sad that Paul took a tentative step forward, to get a closer look at the victim of his chair, only to jump back in surprise when Ryou exploded on him.

"I ASKED YOU A QUESTION! Do you have any idea what you've done! YOU'VE KILLED HIM! HE'S DEAD! DEAD!" Ryou screamed, poking his Yami who in turn forced his tongue to hang out of his mouth, giving him the look of a run-over dog.

"I-I didn't do nothing!" Doug stuttered, clearly starting to panic, as Ryou wailed to the heavens before he threw himself over Yami Bakura's body again.

"You've killed him! He just came back from the navy after SIX FREAKIN' YEARS! HE WAS MY ONLY FAMILY! AND HIS WIFE! HIS WIFE!" Ryou shrieked, pointing at Doug accusingly, who had backed up to the very end of the bar, a horror-stricken look on his face.

"SHE JUST HAD TWINS!"

"NO!" Doug exclaimed in horror as the crowd gasped in shock.

"YES!" Ryou screeched back, making Doug flinch.

"You know what'll happen to you! THEY'LL PUT YOU IN THE ELECTRIC CHAIR! THEY'LL FRY YOUR INSIDES OUT! DAMMIT, YOU KILLED HIM! YOU'RE A MURDERER!" Ryou wailed, finally causing Doug to freak.

"I AIN'T GOIN' TO JAIL! I AIN'T GETTING IN THE ELECTRIC CHAIR!" Doug screamed back, panicking, his drunkenness getting the better of him.

Ryou ignored him now, knowing he had done his job, and he just continued to weep bitterly against his Yami's body, whimpering the word 'why' over and over again.

The crowd turned their accusing gazes to Doug, who had gone a pasty yellow color and was sweating profusely, before he kicked the door to the bar open, running out as fast as he could screaming.

The crowd blinked, wide-eyed at the door which Doug had just bolted through, and heard him screaming until it faded down the street, and a few seconds after he left, Ryou suddenly rose to his feet, a relaxed look on his face as he wiped the false tears from his red face.

"Okay Yami, he's gone!" Ryou said cheerfully, shocking the crowd when Yami Bakura opened his eyes, drew his tongue back into his mouth, and struggled to his feet, swaying slightly on his feet.

Ryou suddenly noticed that all the people in the club had their eyes on him, and he blushed a deep shade of crimson, giggling nervously.

"Uh…it's a talent?" He said meekly, expecting to be thrown out of the club for causing such a scene, when Joey, Tristan, Yami, Yugi, and last but definitely not the least, Seto Kaiba approached laughing their asses off.

At the very sight of the owner of the bar, the club erupted into a series of loud cheers and hooting and Seto acknowledged the people of his club before he made his way to Ryou, a very amused smirk on his face.

"I-I can explain!" Ryou stammered, ready to be kicked out as Seto approached him.

"I d-didn't mean for that to happen! That guy! Doug—!" Ryou was cut off with a wave of Seto's hand, who had regained that serious look on his face once again.

"I never thought I'd actually be in gratitude for one of Joey's friends, but I have to thank you for getting rid of that guy, Ryou. He's bad news all around town, and if you hadn't…" Seto stifled a smirk as Joey and Tristan burst into laughter again from behind him.

"If you hadn't done your little, uh, skit, I would've had to have the cops come down and bust the place. You saved me a huge deal of hell. Thanks." Seto said coolly, allowing a small smile to grace his face, before he turned to Yami Bakura, who was squinting at him, as if trying to recognize him.

"I don't think I'll be reduced to thanking someone formally like you…" Seto said, looking at Yami Bakura with something that resembled disgust and appreciation. "So…"

Seto turned and walked towards the bartender, whispering something to him. Moments later, he returned and thrust a bag into Yami Bakura's arms.

"I saw you admiring them earlier. Now do me a favor, and go home." He said, before he turned and disappeared into the roaring club. Yami, Yugi, Tristan, and Joey approached, curious to see what was in the bag.

Pulling the back the plastic carefully, Yami Bakura peered into the bag and broke into a grin.

"My darts!" He exclaimed, hugging the bag to his chest, as Ryou groaned in dismay at the sight of the little garnishing umbrellas in the bag.

"I wanna go home!" Ryou finally wailed, close to tears as his Yami giggled hysterically, holding the umbrellas close.

"Yeah," Yugi sighed, as he cast a glance at the table where they had left Tea at. Currently, she was lying face down on the table and was snoring contentedly.

"Will do…"