SUMMARY: Everyone's been analyzed to death except this character-it's
Episode 22 from the horse's point of view!
Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin belongs to Nobuhiro Watsuki-sama, Shuiesha,
Sony, and a bunch of other people, not us! (rats) Please don't sue us, we
WARNING: Choking may occur if reading while eating/drinking anything in a
Fireflies in the Grass
It was a beautiful, clear spring day, the kind with skies as blue as
cornflowers and the sun shining like gold. It was the kind of day that made
you glad to be a horse grazing the grass. I glanced around and noticed
fireflies circling lazily nearby. Granted it was daytime, and during
daytime fireflies just look like ugly boxelder bugs, but fireflies they
were nonetheless. Ah, the bliss of the equine life...
Suddenly, my reverie was broken by the force of an immensely powerful sword
ki. "My God," I thought, "I haven't sensed something like that since I
trained that arrogant horse's ass years ago." Hmmm, maybe that's why, when
my student dispatched me to the afterlife during our last training match,
I ended up being reincarnated as a horse. What a fate to befall the exalted
12th master of the Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu--not the reincarnation, mind you,
but the bitter pill of having that twit take over as the 13th Hiko Seijuro!
It was clear that I, the reincarnated 12th Hiko Seijuro, could not ignore
that battle cry. Galloping at full speed, I rushed to the source of the ki
that had rendered nearly bare an entire forest of newly-leaved trees, only
to find--what?! A pint-sized, red-headed girl with a sword and really
"Horse, I require your services," a low voice commanded. The figure in
front of me grabbed my halter and swung onto my back. Now, I've had
experience with females before. They giggle a lot, pretend to be total
ditzes, then proceed to humiliate me with all sorts of cooing and sweet
talk. This was no female!! Not only did he dig that blasted sword hard into
my side, but I could tell from the anatomy of his seat that this was a man!
Damned if I was going to do anything for him!
"Horse," he demanded again, "I require your services. If you don't comply,
I will be forced to use the feared Hiten Mitsurugi techniques on you, that
Aha, now I knew who I was dealing with. You see, on occasion I would wander
up the mountains near Kyoto to annoy the current Hiko Seijuro, and I knew
he had trained a little red-headed pipsqueak many years ago. He never had
another pupil--this kid was the only one stupid enough to stick with the
guy, even coming back at one point for more abuse just to learn the
ultimate succession technique. Talk about masochism!
Well, if this pipsqueak was going to threaten *me* with Hiten Mitsurugi,
then the least I could do was show off my own prowess. "Do Ryu Sen!!" I
neighed, and with god-like lightening speed, I shot off, the poor sucker
clinging for dear life. "Oh dear," I chuckled to myself, "did dear old
Hiko neglect to teach you horsemanship? Too bad!"
In the space of 10 minutes, the idiot and I had covered nearly 10 miles
(gad, I must be getting old--that should only have taken 5 minutes!) and
overtaken one of those noisy, foul-smelling locomotives that have been
polluting Japan's skies for the past few years. I was ready to keep pouring
on the speed just for fun, when what does this baka do but point to some
boats out in the canal and yell, "Jump!"
"Crap," I'm thinking, "he expects me to actually exert myself for him?"
Well, what the hell, it's been awhile, and I'm sure this will positively
throw him-- Ryu Kan Sen!!--and I rise on my hind legs like a true dragon
taking flight. Damn, he's strong, he's managed to stay on. Oh, well, maybe
this will do the trick--Ryu Tsui Sen!! I make a super-godlike leap spanning
at least five horse lengths to land on a boat. Ah, the immense feeling of
satisfaction I get when I feel the pipsqueak's body leave my back. Ah, the
immense feeling of disappointment when I feel him crash back on. Oh well,
maybe I'll get another chance to show him who's boss.
He's yelling at the train and urging me on, but do I hear even one word of
appreciation for that magnificent leap (not to mention my previously
displayed superhuman speed)? Sheesh, such ingratitude. Instead, he wants me
to somehow get enough momentum to jump from this tub to another rickety
boat. Maybe I should just buck him off my back.... hmm, that would be
enjoyable! But then I remember, technically he *is* one of my successors,
so perhaps I should at least humor him again with another unbelievable
display of Hiten Mitsurugi horse strength. I take another flying leap--Ryu
Shou Sen!!--and again land in high style. This time he gets the hint and
flies off my back, but then he decides he has to show me that his leaps are
better than mine as he takes his own flying leap off the boat and onto the
Well, thanks a lot, mister, for leaving me here alone with a band of water-
logged yakuza and not even a sake-coated sugar cube as thanks. I'm so
annoyed I decide to take out every human in sight--Kuzu Ryu Sen!! Let that
pipsqueak have his train, I have this pirate ship all to myself! And not a
bad decision, either, for I've found a keg of sake and a sack of sugar. And
it's all mine!!! Now the only question is how to eventually catch up with
that pipsqueak to leave my calling card--and you can guess how fragrant
that will be!
Well that was.....interesting. If you didn't already know, this is based
off of episode 22 in the first series, which was one of the most
incomprehensible fluff episodes ever! Kenshin on a horse? Give me a break!
Plus that whole thing with the pirates and the logs and blah blah blah blah
blah etc..... So what would you think of a sequel? No? Better tell us
before we come up with another hair-brained scheme! Of course, if you liked
it, we would still love to here from you, so please send us your COMMENTS