Title: The Second Coming

Author: Meghan aka KRAMMIT THE FROG

Rating: PG-13

Summary: It's been 5 years since the events of "Dogma". Bethany lives with her 4 year-old daughter in Illinois, Jay and Silent Bob still hang outside of Dante's store in New Jersey, Serendipity has take in an apprentice muse who might be bisexual, Rufus STILL is overlooked as the 13th Apostle, and Metatron keeps bickering with the Angel of Purity who just happened to go Gothic. Everything's been okay. But Bartleby and Loki have escaped from hell as demons looking to corrupt the new savior aka Bethany's daughter. Can the old gang save the world, again?

Author's Notes: For some reason I want Metatron and Bethany to hook up. Don't ask me why. Normally, I would say more curses to make it feel like a Kevin Smith original, but my faith and upbringing has taken over and I decided not to say the *F* word in this. Sorry folks.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters except Rory, Anish, and Margaret. The rest belong to the master himself, Kevin Smith.

Feedback: Yes please!

Epilogue

Serendipity and Anish

For the next three years, Serendipity trained Anish to use his powers to his full potential. During that time, Anish had conflicts with his sexuality. Not that long ago, he came to terms that he's bisexual. Anish now has a crush on both Hermione Granger and Heath Leger.

God finally caved in and let Serendipity use some of her ideas. She currently is the editor of The National Enquirer. She still can't write a grocery list.

Rufus and Rory

Despite Rufus's constant complaining, he's still not in the Bible. He is currently bugging the Virgin Mary and Jesus to help him out.

Rory's luck has been getting better. She has currently has helped Adrien Brody win the Best Actor Oscar and made Peter Jackson direct The Hobbit and The Silmarillion. She is, at this time, trying to make Ozzy Osbourne a saint. Hence trying.

Bartleby and Loki

After that whole fiasco with Azreal and Cassandra, God returned Bartleby to his place as a Grigori. This made Shaylee very happy.

Loki, meanwhile, became a Messenger Angel. He has no assignments right now, but he will in the future.

Metatron and Bethany

As for these two, well. They eventually get married. Maggie looks up to Metatron as a father figure, though he's not home all the time do to work. Over the next three years, they have a son named Elijah. They are expecting their next child soon. They are very happy together.

(A/N- Read the title aloud in a Cockney accent) Meanwhile, in Hell…

Azreal and Cassandra were sitting in a poorly lit room, both chained to their seats. Lucifer then strolled in, two lackeys at his feet. Something was in his hand, but the two demons couldn't see. Satan stood in front of them.

"Tisk, tisk, tisk. Am I really that bad? Well, it doesn't matter what you think. For now, you're just gonna watch a little movie, 'kay?" He told them and turned around. Behind him was a T.V. set with a VCR on top of it. Lucifer slipped in a tape and turned up the volume to its loudest notch. He pressed the play button and quickly left the room, locking the door behind him.

From the television, the song Ice, Ice, Baby boomed. Azreal and Cassandra's eyes widened. Azreal knew what this was.

"Holy shit, Lucifer's turned on Cool as Ice!" He shouted at the top of his lungs. Cassandra turned to him and asked,

"Cool as Ice? What the hell is that!"

"It's Vanilla Ice's movie. It makes Glitter look like The Godfather!"

"That sick bastard!" The two demons then shouted for mercy. It'll never come.

As for Jay and Silent Bob, well, every day's a new adventure. They will return in Jay and Silent Bob Visit the Magical World of Disney (which will be posted in the "Kevin Smith" section of ) and Prophets (will be posted in the "Dogma" section) but those won't be posted until, like, the end of May. Sorry folks.

If anyone wants to read any of my other work, I'll be posting story in the "10th Kingdom" section within the next two days. That's if any are fans of the mini-series.

The End.