Written by Melfice

Warnings: Shonen-ai, slight suggestions of het (Squint real hard! I've heard it's there!), Relena bashing, Dorothy bashing, various other offensive things, blah blah.

--

Zechs hadn’t been in a good mood all day and he still wasn’t. His trip to the small kitchenette had proved futile, as someone had drank the last of the coffee. His coffee, that he was rightly owed.

He still had no idea how there was no coffee. He had been the first to arrive at the large church, to finish up the last bits of his work, and yet somehow someone managed to drink his coffee. It was unforgivable as far as he was concerned.

As of now, he had just finished the last bit of arrangements and was going to try to find someplace to sit down and relax for two minutes. His schedule told him he didn’t have time for three minutes, but two would be fine.

“Mm...Zechs?”

He stopped short, looked at the girl, then sighed. Zechs was not in the mood for chit chat, especially when his relaxation was hanging so close by.

“Well?” He inquired, tapping his foot impatiently. If only he had a chair to sit in.

The girl gazed down at the floor, a look of embarrassment melding into her features. “We have...A problem.”

Thoughts of coffee and chairs were flying around in Zechs’ head, trying to regain their importance. “What sort of problem?”

If possible, the girl looked even more embarrassed, and Zechs was struck with the sudden feeling that he didn’t want to know.
Frightening noises were drifting out from the room the girl had came from and Zechs suddenly felt uneasy.

“It’s Relena, sir...”

"...I don't believe this."

The pink clad girl crossed her arms as best as she could and gave him a very stern look, challenging him. "Milliardo, this is none of your business."

"Like hell it isn't!" Zechs replied, glaring just as hard. "This is a wedding, Relena, not your personal playground."

An indignant look. "I am very aware of that, Milliardo. I'm not playing, I'm absolutely serious."

Somehow, that's what Zechs had been afraid of.

But, he wasn't going to let things get out of hand. Quatre had entrusted him with the duty of supervisor and he'd be damned if something like this was allowed to happen. Not that being supervisor really meant anything; everyone knew Quatre was really the one in charge of their existence.

Yet, as things were now, it seemed as if they had a tiny crisis on their hands. It was itsy bitsy, really. Nothing to worry about.

"Relena, give me the key, we need to get you both dressed and out there before it's time," Zechs instructed.

Relena shook her head firmly. "I will not. I'm making a stand, Milliardo, and I will not back down. I'm tired of being thrown into the background and ignored; I'm going to be heard now!"

Zechs sighed. It was always best just to humor younger siblings when these things happened. "Then speak away, Relena. We're all listening."

A determined smile lit up her face and she stood, hauling Heero to his feet as well. She turned to him and her smile grew almost gentle. "Heero, I know you never believed me before, but you have to listen. You are the only one my heart belongs to and I will love you forever."

"Hn."

Zechs clapped his hands together. "Now that we've gotten that through with- Relena, do you feel better now?"

A nod, then another happy smile directed toward Heero. "Yes."

"Good, then hand me the key and we'll get on with this thing-"

"What are you talking about, Milliardo? I will most certainly not! Did you not hear what I just said?"

A headache was quickly approaching. He was two minutes away from finding the key himself and getting this all over with. "Relena, we don't have time for this. You need to get in your dress, Heero is still in spandex..."

A 'huff' came from Relena and she sat back down, arms crossed again.

"Relena...?"

She looked up expectantly. "Yes?"

"GIVE ME THE DAMNED KEY!"

Relena jumped a bit, then looked sheepish. "I..."

Heero's glare turned into a look of exasperation and he sighed. "She swallowed it."

An uncomfortably long pause.

"She..."

"Swallowed it," Heero finished, glaring at the device on his left hand.

Zechs waited a few moments again, before he turned to Relena, grabbed her by her shoulders, and began to shake her. "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!"

The pink clad girl pulled herself free from her brother's grasp. "Milliardo! Consider this a blessing! The wedding can be called off!"

Heero looked ready to kill.

He just might have if Zechs hadn't grabbed Relena's other hand and begun to drag her out of the dressing room, none too gently. Of course, this resulted in Heero being dragged after her, which he wasn't very pleased about.

Amidst the yelling and cursing Zechs was doing, the only other sound was that of the metal clanking of the handcuffs connected to Heero and Relena.

Quatre was tired.

Or perhaps "tired" is too small of a word to use in such an event as this. Perhaps exhausted is a better choice, as Quatre wanted nothing more at the moment than to find somewhere quiet and just fall asleep until the whole ordeal was over with.

Whatever had possessed him to agree to this wedding, he didn't know, but was sure that it was laughing at him now. With good reason.

Both of his hands ached from addressing each individual invitation, although he was grateful for having Wufei there to share the torment with him.

If you are going to suffer, it's always best to bring someone else along for the ride.

He stopped momentarily to look into the bright purple room, with a very kitchen-type look to it, and noticed there still wasn't any coffee. Not that he wanted coffee, mind you, as he never cared much for the stuff, but he knew everyone else did.

Whenever he saw Hilde again, he would mention it to her. She seemed to have a new fixation with making coffee. But, Quatre didn't know why. No one did.

Great philosophers of the universe had sat down, spent time in absolute silence; they couldn't figure it out. Suspicion had arisen that perhaps she was trying to poison them all and turn them into five headed goblins. Or perhaps she just wished to make coffee.

Nobody knows.

But, Quatre didn't bother worrying himself over such matters. He adored tea and didn't see any reason for him to think of coffee. The vile concoction never had done anything for him.

Right now, Quatre was intent on finding a nice cup of tea and some sort of couch or chair to sleep in.

"Quatre! There you are!"

The blonde stopped, turning around to smile as Catherine ran up to him, stopping only to catch her breath. "Yes, Cathy?"

"We have a problem."

Problems were not good. "Is everything okay?"

"It's Duo, Quatre. You know those flowers that Trowa had managed to put up on the ceiling?"

The blonde nodded. "Did he pull them down?"

"Not quite..."

Rubbing the bridge of his nose, Quatre crossed his arms and looked thoughtful for a moment. "Cathy, what's happened?"

The performer coughed discreetly. "You had better come see for yourself. I don't think you'll believe me otherwise."

Nodding, Quatre followed the girl down the hallway towards the large room at the end. He was, at this moment, preparing himself for a scene of mass destruction upon his arrival.

Things could not have been going worse for Trowa, who was currently in the process of surveying the whole mess in front of him. Actually, it was about twelve feet off the ground and attached to the wall, but that wasn't important.

It had really been just a simple process. Duo always managed to complicate things.

"Hey! Don't leave me up here!"

At the present moment and time, Duo Maxwell sat at the top of a large ladder, which happened to be positioned right in front of a particularly pink flower bundle, which he happened to be attached to. His right sleeve of the nice suit he wore seemed to be attached to the flowers, which, in turn, were attached to the wall.

Trowa thought he should at least be happy that the ladder was still up there for him to sit on it, otherwise he might get tired hanging around.

"Trowa, what's goi- Oh my..."

Ah, things were looking better already. If Quatre was here, then a solution wouldn't be far behind. Quatre was good at those things.

Trowa turned to face the Arabian and shrugged, choosing to say as little as humanly possible.

"How is he attached to the wall? Did you use nails, or...?"

"Staples."

"Oh, okay...Isn't there some way we can just take them out and let him down?"

Catherine cleared her throat, Trowa blinked, and Duo whimpered. Quatre truly felt as if he was being left out of something.

"Normally we could, but Trowa bought these special kind of staples...Apparently they are a little harder to get out."

A microscopic smile appeared on Trowa's face at the memory of his beloved purchase. The staples, he had been assured, would take at least two weeks and a large construction tool to get out. Those flowers were going to stay up there.

Of course, Trowa hadn't anticipated Duo being stuck up there too, but he didn't think it would be too bad. Duo made a nice decoration.

"How much harder?" Quatre asked, raising an eyebrow skeptically at the scene before him. He wasn't really surprised at the predicament Duo had gotten himself into, but he did find it hard to believe that it wasn't as simple to fix as it seemed.

Trowa felt a sinister sort of smile tug at his lips and Catherine gave him an exasperated sort of look.

"Apparently it'll take some time, Quatre," Catherine answered. "Time which we don't have. What do you think?"

A long pause stretched out over the entire room, interrupted only as Duo whimpered every now and then.
A frog croaked outside, somewhere someone noticed that someone needed to make more coffee, and Duo whimpered again.

"Well," Quatre began, a determined look crossing his face again. "We'll just get him down and let him go as he is. The flowers will match his outfit nicely, so we shouldn't have to worry about it too much."

Catherine nodded, although the frown stayed on her face. "I guess that's the only option we have. Let's just hope everyone else is having more luck than we are."

Duo whimpered again, Catherine sighed, Quatre climbed up the ladder to get Duo down, and Trowa considered purchasing more products from the company he had gotten the staples from.

Kumi Asoya's day had gone spectacularly well so far. Certainly she had been weary when her co-workers had joked about rabid elephants stampeding through the store and trampling her, but that was all in the past.

So far there hadn't been a single elephant and business was going as well as could be expected.

She sat behind the counter, smiling cheerfully at the customers, offering her help whenever needed. The little metal bell above the door chimed pleasantly as another customer stepped inside and Kumi busied herself with arranging several bags of elegant coffees into a lovely display on the counter top.

"I need coffee."

The young girl looked up and smiled cheerfully. "Certainly, how may I help you?"

"I need coffee."

Kumi's smile never wavered. "Yes, ma'am, what kind?"

The blonde in front of the counter glared. "Do I look like I drink coffee to you?"

"Umm..."

"Look, I just need some coffee."

"What kind, ma'am?" Kumi repeated, although regretted it when the woman's eyes lit up in fury. "Or perhaps I should recommend some to you."

"Grrr..."

Kumi swallowed nervously and turned to the many different varieties behind the counter. "We have-"

The blonde reach over and grabbed Kumi by the front of her uniform, glaring dangerously. "Look here, girl, I need coffee. Just plain, ordinary, everyday coffee. Do you even have plain coffee? I want a gallon of it."

"Oh! Yes, ma'am, I know what you're talking about now. Here, I'll put you some in a bag."

"About time..."

"There you are. Your total comes to 502.53, will that be cash or charge?"

"..."

"Ma'am?"

"Forget it. Zechs will have to learn to live with disappointment."

BAM!

"You almost hit my finger!"

BAM!

"..."

BAM!

"Heero, say something! Stop him!"

BAM!"

"..."

BAM!

"Heero!"

BAM!

Zechs laid the sledgehammer down on the table, inspecting the handcuffs, which looked quite beaten and banged. It had taken a mere ten minutes to find the sledgehammer, twenty seconds for Zechs to marvel at what could be found in a church these days, and now another twenty minutes of hammering onto the handcuffs.

Despite the force behind the swings, the handcuffs still stayed in place and didn't look as if they were getting off any time soon. They were, however, all nice and dented now though.

"This is hopeless," Zechs sighed, collapsing into a conveniently located chair. "We'll just have to have a key custom made."

If only Relena hadn't ordered the expensive handcuffs.

Relena gave a small huff and sat down on the table, crossing her legs in a dainty manner. "It isn't that bad."

"Relena, shut up."

"Heero, you can't blame me for this. I was only following your advice."

Zechs looked over at the suicidal pilot. "You gave her advice?"

"Yes, he said 'follow your emotions'. So, I did," Relena smiled.

Heero shrugged, looking quite bored. "I had hoped her emotions would lead her off a cliff somewhere."

Another huff from the pink princess. "You had better make the best of this, Heero, because we're stuck together until a key can be made. That means no wedding."

The killing look had returned and Heero was eyeing the sledgehammer with quite a bit of interest.

Zechs, sensing that he might very well lose a sibling if this continued on, thought very quickly. Actually, he didn't think at all, he just decided on something and that it would be done. It was just that simple. "I've got it!"

The two looked over at him.

"We'll just continue on with the wedding. We can find some convenient way to hide the handcuffs and life will be grand."

Heero's eyes narrowed dangerously. "I am not walking up the isle with her."

"Why not?!" Relena schreeched, glaring daggers at the Japanese pilot. "Why can't you just marry me?! WHY?!"

"You're not my fiancee."

Zechs felt like banging his head against some nearby object, preferably something pointy. If this kept up he might have to go and actually request help from Quatre, and it would be a cold day in hell before he resorted to that.

Relena continued to glare. "Only because you never asked me! I would have said yes, had you bothered to even ask!"

"Hn."

"You could still ask me, you know. It's not too late."

"Hn."

"Heero, don't you think we would be good for each other?"

"No."

"Heero, seriously. I cannot even begin to imagine why you would ask that wretched filth before asking me."

There was that murderous glint in his eyes again. "What did you say?"

"You heard me!"

"Omae-"

"ENOUGH!"

The two teenagers turned to look at Zechs, who appeared to be quite close to having some sort of mental breakdown and wreaking havoc upon them all. They both silently agreed that remaining quiet for a moment or two would greatly increase their chances of surviving this wedding.

It was really quite a good idea.

Clearing his throat, Zechs walked around to Relena, placed his hands on her shoulders, and glared. They all seemed to be doing a lot of glaring at each other, which makes one wonder if they've been around Heero for too long. "Relena, I want you to listen to me."

"I don't want to hear anythin-"

"Relena."

"I'm listening."

"Heero hates you. He enjoys this hatred of you and any possibility of him liking you is little to none."

"I don't belie-"

"RELENA."

"Sorry..."

"Now, I want you to calmly realize that Heero is, indeed, going to be married today. It will not be to you, Relena," Zechs stated, ignoring the obvious way Relena was trying to ignore him. "And you are going to go get in your dress, smile, and participate in this wedding. Whether you want to or not."

Relena smiled, a determined look on her face. "No."

"You don't really have a choice, sister darling. You've connected yourself to Heero's wrist there, so you have little choice but to help find some way to get yourself disconnected from him."

"No."

Zech's patience was running thin. Letting go of his sister's shoulders, he grabbed hold of her waist and slung her over his shoulder, forcing Heero to stand up as well.
Then, making sure Heero understood that if he didn't keep up that he might be dragged along for the ride, he left the small room and headed out into the hallway.

And at that moment shocking news of a blizzard in Hell was being broadcast on television.

As it stood, the stakes were high and nerves were on edge. Everything counted on this one last effort at success and just the tiniest slip-up would result in chaotic failure.

If just one distraction made itself present, they might as well call the whole wedding off and drown in their sorrow. That's just how awful it would be.

Or at least how it would be for Lucrezia Noin, who was ever so carefully gazing over the perfectly printed list, which was attached to a bright blue, plastic clipboard. The list itself had already been checked eight times by Noin and she had been there when it had been printed out.

This list was, at the moment, the main focus in Noin's life.

"Name?"

This process was very, very carefully laid out. Each detail had been discussed and practiced on a group of people Noin had picked out. The entire process was to be absolutely flawless.

"How funny, Ms. Noin," the blonde stated, humorless. Dorothy Catalonia was in no mood to be trifled with. Her trip to the gourmet coffee store had put her in a fouler mood than normal. She had made it easier on herself by just going to the general store and picking up a container of instant coffee.

After all, she wasn't going to be the one drinking the stuff.

Noin's face remained stoic, her clipboard still tightly gripped in one hand, as she scanned across it. "Miss, I can't let you in if you aren't on the list. And for me to tell if you are on the list, I'll need your name."

Dorothy glared at the woman, deciding to be nice today and humor her. "Dorothy Catalonia."

There was a brief pause while Noin checked her list, flipping several crisp sheets of white paper up to check underneath them.
After a moment or two, Noin returned the papers to their original location and gave Dorothy a blank look.

"I'm sorry, Miss Catalonia, but I can't let you in."

"Damn it, Noin, get out of my way!"

Dorothy took a step forward, intent of shoving the other woman aside, but stopped short when she saw the murderous look in Noin's eyes.

"This is going to be a long night."

"Heero, you seem to have a growth."

"Duo, shut up."

Zechs sat the girl back onto the floor, ignoring the braided boy attached to the flower arrangement and instead focusing all of his attention onto Quatre, who raised an eyebrow at him. "We have a problem, Quatre."

Quatre climbed down from the ladder, followed by Duo, who was still attached to the flowers. "So I see..."

Nudging Heero slightly, Duo motioned towards Relena. "What happened?"

A shrug from Heero told that he really didn't want to explain anything at the moment and Duo decided to let it slide. He didn't really want to know.

"It seems you have a similar problem..." Zechs stated, gesturing to Duo.

"A minor problem," Quatre assured him. "We can cut the flowers off and just leave the staples."

From behind them, Trowa cleared his throat and the entire room turned to look at him. "I ordered the flowers too."

Quatre put his head in his hands, shaking his head in disbelief. Trowa patted the Arabian on the shoulder in comfort, but made a mental note that perhaps he shouldn't order anything ever again.

Zechs sighed. "Forget the flowers. We have a human being attached to the groom and, unlike flowers, she's a little harder to remove. Does anyone have an extra key to these handcuffs, or maybe an idea, or a powertool...?"

Silence fell over the room.

Duo tugged at the flowers, wrinkling his nose at them in disgust, Heero glared at Relena, and Quatre sat down on the floor and tried to think up a solution.

The solution, apparently, was being very evasive.

Then the door to the room burst open and Dorothy fell inside. They barely had time to blink before she was up, had closed the door, and fell against it, breathless.

A loud pounding echoed through the room moments later, coming from the other side of the door.

Dorothy's eyes widened and she gave them a pleading look. "Help me."

Quatre stood and crossed over to the door, pulling Dorothy up onto her feet. The blonde woman hid behind him and the door burst open again, this time Noin fell inside.

She stood up a lot quicker than the other woman had and immediately her eyes focused on Dorothy. "DIE!"

Dorothy yelped and clung onto Quatre's back. The young Arabian sighed and put a hand on Noin's arm.

"Noin, calm down," Quatre said, feeling more at ease when the glowing anger in the woman's eyes mellowed down into a calmer shade. "Now what is all this about?"

"She's not on the list," Noin stated, then produced her clipboard from practically nowhere, pointing her finger at it. "I've checked it. Twice. She's not on it."

Zechs practically jumped over to the three of them, grabbing Dorothy and turning her towards him.

Dorothy looked at him as if he was crazy. "W-What?"

"Where is the coffee?" Zechs questioned. "What kind did you get?"

The woman shrugged. "There were too many choices. I got this instant stuff instead. I'll go tell Hilde to-"

"You got what?!"

Two hours before the wedding and Hilde Schiebeiker was experiencing the very first signs of pre-wedding jitters. She was a nervous wreck and the most comforting thought she had come across was to hide underneath a desk somewhere and not come out for a few days.

And it wasn't even her wedding.

"Dorothy...What is this?"

"It's called coffee, Hilde."

"I know that, but I mean...This isn't real coffee."

"Deal with it. It's all we've got."

Hilde frowned at the small package and sat it back on the counter. "How is Quatre dealing with the wedding problems?"

A smirk spread across Dorothy's face. "Oh, he's dealing."

The other woman started searching through the cupboards, thoroughly ignoring the instant coffee. Feeding such things to Zechs could (and had before) resulted in very bad things.
There just had to be coffee somewhere in the small kitchen.

"Shouldn't you be helping, instead of standing around watching me make coffee?" Hilde inquired, frowning even further.

Dorothy shrugged, seemingly unconcerned. "You're not making coffee."

"I will be shortly," came the irritated reply. "I think you should probably help Quatre. Or at least go help Zechs remove his sister from Heero's arm."

A delighted laugh. "That couldn't have been a better plan even if I had done it myself!"

Hilde stuck her head out from the cupboard and raised an eyebrow at the blonde. "What are you talking about?"

"Can you imagine it? Do you realize what is going to happen if no one can figure out how to solve these problems?" Dorothy asked, her voice laced with amusement. "This is going to be great."

Another frown. "You don't seem to realize the seriousness of this."

"Oh, then do enlighten me."

"Well," Hilde closed the cupboard door with more force than was probably needed. "Think of it like this. Duo and Heero were to be wed today at precisely 1:34. It is now 12:15, most of the guests have arrived, and that's not all, oh no."

Dorothy's smile widened.

Hilde glared. "Relena has handcuffed herself to Heero and has, for some reason, eaten the only key. Trowa has managed to get Duo stapled to a bouquet of flowers, Zechs is on the verge of taking a chainsaw to Heero's arm, and--!"

If possible, Dorothy's smile widened even further. "We have no coffee."

Pausing from her rampage, Hilde's face fell. She sighed and cast a weary glance around the kitchen. "And we have no coffee."

A delighted laugh escaped from Dorothy and the blonde spun around in a circle. "This is the best day of my life."

Zechs was, normally, a very docile and calm individual. Or, at least, that’s what he would tell people, if people ever asked. It sounded very nice when spoken and didn’t look half bad written on paper.

Zechs liked things to go how he wanted them. Oh, yes, everyone does, but Zechs thrived on it. If things went right, it meant he was right, and he very much enjoyed being right.

But, sometimes things couldn’t go as planned and some changes had to be made. Zechs had learned to live with this flaw of life and had worked his way around it many a time.

His gaze fell onto the three individuals that sat in front of him. “Any suggestions?”

Relena smoothed out a wrinkle in her dress. “No powertools.”

A fleeting look of disappointment flashed across Zechs' face. "Right, no powertools. What else?"

Duo's hand shot into the air. "Quatre said we can't do anything that would involve nuclear power either."

"I don't know how he expects me to work under these conditions," Zechs grumbled, then he glared at Duo. "Why are you still here? I fixed your flower problem; go away."

Quatre had shoved Zechs, Relena, Heero, and Duo in an almost empty room, claiming cheerfully that it was up to Zechs to find some sort of solution to all of the problems.

Zechs' solution to Duo's problem had been simple. While everyone else had worried and fretted over such a simple thing, Zechs found that just by cutting off the sleeve of Duo's suit he could get rid of the flowers.

It was all very simple.

Duo waved his flower-free hand again. "I can help!"

Wondering absently if it were possible to just leave without Quatre knowing it, Zechs sighed. He focused his attention onto Relena and gave her his best glare. "You had better be helping me think, sister dearest."

"Why should I?" Relena snapped, glaring just as hard back at her brother. "I see nothing wrong with the current arrangement."

"Do you really want to go with Heero and Duo on their honeymoon, Relena?" Zechs asked, raising an eyebrow. Duo gave a maddening kind of grin at this statement.

Relena's face went a few shades whiter than what might be considered healthy.

"This isn't happening to me..."

"It's not as bad as you think."

"...Yes it is."

"Oh, come on, lighten up."

"Hmph."

A soft sigh. "I know there's a joke in here somewhere, hold on and let me find it."

"There is nothing humorous about this, woman."

"Has anyone ever told you're cute when you're annoyed?"

A loud crash echoed through the room, signaling that the table the two had been sitting on had tipped over.

"Oh yeah, that was brilliant, Wufei."

"I should kill you."

"Then what? You can drag my dead body all over the church with you? Won't that look nice?"

An indignant sound. "I hate women."

If Sally had been the type to giggle, she might have done so. But, she wasn't, so she managed to smash the urge to do so into little pieces. "Does that mean you prefer men?"

"Woman..."

"It's a simple question, Wufei, really. I mean, obviously you have no problem with that since you're at Heero and Duo's wedding and all."

She really was enjoying the situation immensely.

Wufei shifted uncomfortably. "I prefer no one. Not men, not women, not you."

Sally smiled sweetly, or as sweetly as she could manage with the amusement glinting in her eyes. "Why did you bring me into this? Did you automatically assume I would ask about myself, or are you nervous that I'll find out that you actually do like me?"

"I do not like you."

"Oh right, sure you don't."

"That's it; we're going to go find Zechs."

"Ohhh but, Wufei, isn't this fun?" That amused look had turned to something more malicious.

Wufei stood up, bringing her with him. "Move, woman. We're getting out of this predicament now."

"Right. We can talk about your love life some other time then, okay?"

"Move!"

"Name?"

Catherine stared blankly, shifting a rather large box (marked in bold letters "WEDDING CAKE") ackwardly in her arms. "What? Do you mean me?"

Noin appeared bemused. "Yes, miss. Your name?"

"Catherine Bloom." Apparently Zechs hadn't been joking when he had warned her of the dangers of trying to enter the church.

A rustling of papers followed the answer and Noin ran a finger across her blue clipboard. There was a momentary frown and then the woman smiled happily, stepping aside. "Go on in."

Giving Noin a sympathetic glance, Catherine hurried inside, hitting the side of the box roughly when it growled slightly.

Things were going slightly more smooth than they had been. Noin had received word that certain complications had been taken care of and was almost certain that this wedding would be pulled off.

Almost all of the guests had arrived and had been seated properly (Noin decided she would thank Une later for offering to prepare seating arrangements) and things were just looking up.

Oh, yes, there had been a few problems, but what was a wedding without complications?

The door behind her opened quietly and Zechs stuck his head out. He gave her a small smile. "Noin, could you come here a second?"

Noin frowned. "What about my post?"

"Let Une take over for a while," Zechs shrugged.

Another frown, but Noin sat the clipboard down and followed Zechs inside. "What do you need my help with?"

"Oh, that's not it at all," Zechs replied, a sadistic smile slowly spreading across his lips. "I didn't think you'd want to miss this."

Hilde had been through her share of misery and heartache. But, despite all her hardships, she'd still managed to make it out of each and everyone with all her limbs still attached. Certainly she had come close to losing an arm a few times, but she was still here and that was all that mattered.

Weddings weren't weddings unless they came with chaos. Six days ago, when Zechs had pulled her aside and asked her to help with the wedding, she had been ecstatic.

Hilde loved weddings.

That's why, when Zechs had also discreetly mentioned that it would most likely be hell, she hadn't quite understood.
Over the last few hours, she had given herself some time to think. And, yes, she understood now. Quite clearly.

But it had been worth the trouble, Hilde thought to herself. She stood at the very back of the church, gazing happily around at the guests and at the decorations.

She had decided it would probably be best for her sanity if she didn't do anything like this again for a very, very long time.

From beside her, Dorothy nudged her slightly. "It looks great, but where are Heero and Duo?"

"They must not be ready yet," Hilde replied, then frowned. "Come to think of it, Zechs and Quatre should've been here by now too."

"Hilde...We're the only ones here."

"...This can't be good."

Zechs was really trying his best to maintain the calm appearance he had been struggling with all day. He'd finally managed to get it back moments ago and now it was slipping.

"Let me get this straight," he began.

It really wasn't as if he was surprised, because he wasn't. He was more in awe of the fact that more disasters had happened on this single day than had happened in the entire year.

"It's moments before the wedding," Zechs continued.

Sally nodded.

"We still haven't gotten Relena unattached from Heero-"

Another nod. "That's right."

"Duo's suit is torn up from invincible staples-"

"Yes."

"Noin had handicapped some of our guests with a clipboard-"

Noin gave a sheepish smile, but Sally nodded again.

"I still haven't had any coffee-"

"You're still on this coffee bit?"

"And, to top it all off," Zechs glared at both Sally and Wufei. "You've both somehow managed to glue yourselves together."

A thick sheet of silence fell over the room. Uncomfortable, Duo coughed loudly.

Sally nodded, yet again. "Yes, that just about sums it all up."

Zechs sighed and slid down to the floor. Noin, whom was comfortably seated in a chair next to him, gave him a sympathetic smile and patted his shoulder.

"I don't see why you had to come bother me with this," Zechs remarked, shrugging. "If the glue is only on your clothes-"

"Wufei'll have a heart attack if you tell us we have to take off our clothes," Sally replied. "He has some fear of seeing me without clothing."

An irritated 'huff' came from Wufei. "I fear nothing! And, woman, if you'll remember, this is all your fault."

"How is it MY fault?!"

"It just is!"

Zechs let his head fall onto Noin's chair, sighing in exasperation.

Noin patted his head. "It'll be okay, Zechs."

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"Oops."

The whole room seemed to stop. Slowly, all eyes turned to the door, silently waiting.

From the other side of the door, Dorothy cackled. "Hope you all have fun!"

A loud 'click' filled the room, once, and then it was gone. The hurried sound of escaping footsteps faded and then were gone.

The entire room remained silent.

Looking up from the chair, Zechs gazed sleepily at the door. "Dorothy and Hilde just locked us in here, didn't they?"

Sally nodded slowly. "Yep."

The silence didn't last as long this time, as Duo slid closer to Heero and, giving him a quick kiss, smiled brightly. "Never a dull moment with you, is there, Heero?"

"Hn."

Relena shifted slightly, accompanied by the clinking sound of metal, and frowned. "This has just not been my day."

Zechs groaned. "I need an asprin."

"Is not."

"Is too."

From his seat by the door, Quatre smiled and turned to look at Trowa, who sat next to him. "I don't suppose there is any way to open the door?"

Trowa just shrugged, choosing to say as little as humanly possible.

From across the room, Zechs sighed. "If we ever get out of here, I'm going to kill Dorothy."

A chorus of agreements answered the remark. Except from Heero and Duo, whom had decided that just a quick kiss wasn't enough. And Relena, whom was sitting as far away from the two as she could manage, her eyes clenched tightly closed.

"And I still haven't gotten any coffee."

Thank you for reading! :)