Subspace Rising (formerly Delfino MAYHEM!)

By TRUE Unknown

Disclaimer: I do not own "Smash Bros." license. But I do own this fic. All characters belong to their respectful creators.

It appears that things have taken a turn for the worst...

GMS: So a new story will be crafted in tune with Brawl.

Thanks, I figured that. Oh, this story is BACK, BABY!

(Inside the Smash Air Cruiser, the Melee cast have decided to cut their vacation short, due to both the Space Pirates attacking, and the resident human psychic, Ness, becoming incapacitated during the fight in order to protect Samus, whose feelings she has realized thanks to Captain Falcon's words.)

Samus: (Zero Suit, brooding) Why...?

Mewtwo: (Mentally outloud) Samus, there is no more brooding to be done here. A great force has tried to attack us, and because of it, Ness is out of commission for the time being.

Samus: But... he did it to save me...

Mewtwo: (nods) That he did. He's a brave young man, standing up to such an attack.

Bowser: (bashes his fist hard into the armrest of his seat, angry) ARRRGH! This still doesn't add up! (roars in irritation) Who would send those lousy Space Pirates after us? Did they honestly think they could take ALL of us?

Captain Falcon: (unmasked, cleaning his helmet) That's not really the point here, Mr. Spiky Scales. How did they know to attack us at that point? While we had our guard down?

Luigi: (not crazy) Excuse-a me. You might-a think we had-a our guard down, but even with that-a 'surprise attack', they still-a fell to our-a combined might!

Captain Falcon: (brown eyes looking back at a stabilized Ness) Yes, but if you haven't noticed, we're one guy short now... I still can't believe Ness hasn't woken up yet.

Samus: (uncharacteristic gloom) I'm the one responsible for his condition...

Roy: Hey! (slaps Samus across her cheek, netting a gasp from Bowser, Falcon, and Luigi; chiding) There's no acting like an emo here! It doesn't matter how Ness was beaten, or how he came to be injured like this, but the worse you can do now is just give up and act all bitter and low, like you won't even try anymore! That's NOT how we do things here, Samus Aran!

Samus: Roy...

Roy: Or do you have to think about how you were so powerless when the Pirates attacked your own home, killing off your family-(gets decked by Samus's fist)

Samus: (murderous) How DARE you even bring up my parents-

Mewtwo: (loud) Enough! (Mewtwo vibrated his voice through Samus and Roy's minds, as if zapping their brains and halting their moves. This also hits Luigi)

Luigi: What?-AUGH! MY BRAIN! (slightly crazy tinge) You made-a the purple Lumas come-a back-

Mewtwo: (To Samus) Samus, you will calm yourself now. (To Roy, with glowing eyes) Roy, you KNOW that's a low blow for Samus. She was only an infant.

Samus: (hateful) His funeral... And YOURS as well if you keep invading my thoughts-

Mewtwo: Irregardless, It's not just Samus, or Ness's condition. The others are just in as much a state of shock about this as the rest of you!

Bowser: (scoff) Hmph. Really, I don't see why their holding this 'meeting'. This is a problem we can handle ourselves, right?

Captain Falcon: No. Not anymore. (Bowser perks his eyebrow) This has become a threat not only to us, but to the very worlds we all call home. Given the fact that this mystery evil sent the Space Pirates to terrorize Delfino Isle, that means it can send ANY evil force out anywhere, at any given time.

(The minds of those in this part of the Smash Air Cruiser were suddenly occupied with thoughts of evil, terrorizing their homes, their worlds, their very universes. One thing was on everyone's minds.)

Bowser: (stands up defiantly, roaring loudly) Whoever these punks are, they're not gonna take over MY kingdom!

Roy: Good for you, my comrade in arms! Our resolve will not falter!

Luigi: Just-a promise that you won't-a sing the Fire Emblem-a song!

Roy: Hey! It's a good song! Filled with determination and fighting spirit!

Luigi: And if you say it's-a good song, then that's just like-a saying that you-a must-a be gay with Marth!

Roy: (screams in frustration) Why does everyone think that? I'm not gay with Marth!

Samus: Blame the lousy fangirls.

Bowser: You call that a SCREAM, ROY?

(This 'discussion' was interrupted when the elder Mario brother walked in.)

Mario: Guys, we're-a getting close to our-a home base.

Captain Falcon: (sighs) Ah, good ol' Smash Mansion.

I'm guessing it's a written rule that the characters all live in a mansion or estate of sorts, lol, so who am I to change things?

Mario: Because of-a the situation, we have-a decided to bring in some-a new recruits!

(A resounding "What?" was from the majority of the Smashers inside this area of the plane)

Mario: A few of-a them are awaiting us back at-a the Mansion. We'll just have to-a wait for our opponents now to make-a their next move, so until then, we're-a just-a relaxing.

Luigi: (sarcastic) Ooh, good-a FUCKING idea, big brother! We wait-a for-a the end of-a the world to interrupt us from-a the R&-a-R!

Mario: (right up to Luigi's face) HEY, What's-a-matter-with-a-you?

Roy: (ignoring Mario and Luigi's childish scuffle; wondering) There's nothing we can do before these guys strike?

Mewtwo: We know nothing about them, and neither do the others. It would be pointless to try to coax them out if we know naught of what they're gonna do.

Mr. Game and Watch: (announcing from the pilot's box) Beep beep bip bip beeeoooop [Everyone sit back and hang on tightly!) (static) Beeeeoop Blip beep beep beep [We're coming in for a landing!)

(At the runway, four people were waiting on the sidelines, waiting for the plane to come down.)

Wario: (throws his fists up in the air) I don't believe this! I could be making MILLIONS right now by marketing my games, instead of waiting for that LOSER, and his LOSER friends, with THESE losers! (gets startled slightly by a giant broadsword breaking runway next to himself)

Ike: I dare you to say that word one more time. Really, I dare you to.

Wario: MWAHAHAHA! What are you going to do about it, huh?

Ike: (glares) I'll cleave you in two, you fat fool.

Pit: (stands between Ike and Wario) My friends, we are all on the same side. We have no time to bicker amongst ourselves. A considerable threat looms on the horizon, and we instead pick fights in our own ranks!"

Ike: Hmph. I apologize for that outburst. Just keep Garlic McStanks away from me.

Wario: (anger) WHAT YOU SAY ABOUT MY GARLIC?

Pit: (pinches his temple in irritance) Oh almighty Palutena, give me strength...

Diddy Kong: (jumping up and down, pointing in the sky) [shrieking monkey noises)

Wario: (confused) What's his shit?

Pit: A plane's coming in! I think that's them!

Ike: If that's a plane... (concerned, and starting to back away from the runway) Why are its engines lit in flames?

Diddy Kong[shrieking monkey noises x2)

(And with that, Pit, Ike, and Diddy Kong motor right out of there; Wario tries being fancy by getting his motorcycle out and riding it to safety... too bad he gets sent skyrocketing into the stratosphere)

Wario: -(ding)

(And from the crashed plane, the door is burst open, with the heroic Donkey Kong leaping out first... or that's what he would have done if he hadn't enjoyed going down the emergency evacuation slide.)

Diddy Kong: (giddy) [excited monkey noises)

Donkey Kong: (turns around to see Diddy) [overjoyed ape sounds)

Zelda: (next one out) And there's a second ape; well that's just fantastic.

Link: (slides down as well, not noticing Pikachu, Kirby, Young Link, Falco, Fox, and Marth sliding down as well) And to think; humans supposedly evolved from them!

(And now to interrupt this, we now have Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong doing some kind of weird, ritualized determination dance, where they slap each other's hands, butt butts, high five with low fives, do some kind of 'giddy finger motion', and ending with a grand finale that somehow caused Ganondorf to burst into flames-)

Ganondorf: AUUGH! Why won't you ever let me ravage happy places?

(-the dream team of Donkey and Diddy are back!)

Donkey Kong[ape noises)-banana smoothie that's so nice and creamy that you HAVE to eat with a spoon! (astonished) Hey! I got my language back!

Diddy Kong: You could speak their-COOL! I can too!

Fox: (unamused) And they can talk now. That's just super.

Donkey Kong: That reminds me, Fox ol' buddy... (walks up to Fox and Giant Punches him in the face) That's for dissin' my voice! Fuck you, furry!

Fox: (ignoring his bleeding face, giving DK the 'unhappy finger') Up yours, poop tosser!

Mario: (choosing to ignore Fox and Donkey Kong renewing their hatefulness) Okay, well that was-a smooth landing, and now that we're-a-(quickly dodges a falling Wario) Oh don't-a tell me they hired you too?

Wario: (correcting his busted nose) Yeah, with LOTS of moneys!

Pit (running up to Mario, Luigi, Wario, Pikachu, Kirby, and Bowser): Mr. Mario! Is everyone okay? What happened to the plane? Was it enemy forces?

Bowser: Nope. Mewtwo thought it would be funny to jam a flock of seagulls into the jet's engines.

Mewtwo: (teleports in) That's why I never indulge in my sense of humor.

Kirby: Or indulge in your sense of physically fighting, either.

Mewtwo: (vein in his forehead) My psychic abilities are far superior compared to my physical prowess. That won't stop me, however, from giving you a hard shot to the face with my mighty hand!

Kirby: (goading) Oh yeah, try it! Come on, just try it!

Samus: (loud) MOVE IT! COMING THROUGH!

(The eight of them move aside as Samus, Peach, and Jigglypuff take a medical hearse, with Ness resting on it, all the way to the Infirmary.)

Pit: Was he one of ours?

Mario: (nods) Yep. He got-a wounded during our-a vacation.

Wario: Well, that sounds like one HELL of a vacation! MWAHAHAHA-(smacked upside the head by Luigi)

Luigi: Compose-a yourself, you-a rotund fuck.

Mr. Game and Watch: (skids in) Beep MEEP meep meep beebop beep beep[What's WITH all the hate going on around here?

Ganondorf: (slightly charred) Oh, that's pretty easy to get.

Pit: (astounded) You knew what it said?

Ganondorf: Yeah... you spend a good eternity stuck with these things-

Pikachu: PIKA [THINGS?)

Mr. Game and Watch: BEEEEEEP [THINGS?)

Yoshi: WAAAA [TURKEY?)

Ganondorf: And you become attuned to what their weird languages mean. (turns to Pikachu) And yes you are! (turns to Game and Watch) Yes YOU are! (turns to Yoshi) And you're a moron, you raptor wannabe!

Mario: Hey! Don't-a diss my imitation-a raptor!

Yoshi: (insulted) Yoooshi... [Asshole...)

Pit: (sweat drop) Well, it looks like I'm gonna have a swell time with you guys.

Luigi: (walking ahead, with his arm around Pit) Don't-a worry, my-a new best friend. We'll-a get along JUST fine!

Pit: (thoughts) Oh almighty Palutena, watch over me...

Ike: (walks up to Roy and Marth) I've heard a great deal of the both of you, Prince Marth and General Roy.

Marth: I remember recalling your face somewhere... Aren't you that mercenary Ike?

Ike: That is correct. I have also heard about both of your heroic exploits. And I find it very admirable and respectable!

Roy: Hey thanks!

Ike: (proud) Yes, your determination and unwavering, manly loyalty to each other is a constant-

Marth: What are you talking about-(shock) WE'RE NOT GAY, IKE!

Ike: ... Really? (looks the other way) Boy, the fan club won't like this horrifying news.

Marth: ... (glares) I don't like you... (envelops himself with his cape and walks away)

Roy: Aw, don't let ol' Marthy Marth get to ya, Ikey. We'll get along just-

Ike: Don't ever call me Ikey, Roy. (unsheathes his giant sword) Unless you want to take a round with me?

Roy: Um... maybe later, but let's get inside for now. I'll show you the new quarters.

Fox: (rushing up to Mario) Hey, plumber! Ness needs a doctor to see him right now!

Mario: (all determined) Very well...

(With a throw-off of his clothes, Mario becomes...)

Luigi: (horrified) OH GOD!

Mewtwo: (horrified shock) ...If only I could stab my own eyes out right now with my mind...

Ganondorf: (laughing his ass off) MWAHAHAHA! OH MY-HAHAHA-YOU SUCK SOOOOOOOOOOO BAD!

Mario: (confused) Huh? (looks down; is covered only by a black censor bar) WAAAAH!

Bowser: (tastefully turned the other way) Good thing I'm not caring about this situation... although I so WANT to mock him, but that would require looking at him... which I just CAN'T allow myself to do... (motors along the ground towards the mansion) WAIT UP!

Mario: (wraps the black censor bar as a makeshift towel) Meh... I got-a the spare doctor clothes inside. Let's go!

Wario: Man... and I thought I was the weird one!

(Inside the Mansion, our Smashers, including the four new recruits, are lazing around the VERY spacious Lounge, watching American Idol, with Luigi laughing VERY outloud at his good pal, Bandit Keith, singing the Team America: World Police theme. Everyone else backed away from the cackling Luigi. Meanwhile, Mewtwo, Peach, Samus, and Mario (in his doctor garb), were analyzing Ness, looking over his statistics.)

Mario: Hmm... C'mon-a Ness... try to reach us...

Samus: How will that help?

Mewtwo: Except for his PSI Magnet, PK Fire, and PK Thunder, Ness is naturally a healer.

Peach: (in awe) A healer?

Mario: (annoyed) And you started-a talking again. (gets slapped by Peach)

Mewtwo: That is correct. I found this out one day, and he told me that his friend Paula taught him those attack spells, but otherwise, Ness was responsible for restoring the health of his friends during his adventure.

Peach: For a healer, he really hurts.

Mewtwo: Naturally, his healing technique, the PSI Lifeup, was locked away from his repetroire while he was amongst us by Master Hand himself. Because a foe who could always heal himself in the brink of defeat would be near-impossible to defeat.

Mario: Not to-a mention that he could just-a heal himself while his HP tumblers kept-a plummeting.

Mewtwo: (confused) Now you're just breaking the fourth wall here, Mario.

Samus: If what you guys are saying makes ANY kind of conceivable sense, then what you want us to try, is to make Ness subconsciously use his healing technique on himself?

Mewtwo: Precisely, although it's not as easy as it sounds. Master Hand was the one who locked his healing skills, and more than likely, only he can undo the lock on our comrade. (deep) If only the Master Hand was still with us... (annoyed) if only he wasn't vacationing in the Melty Molten Galaxy...

(And cue to the giant white hand enjoying himself, riding the lava torrents of the lava galaxy from Super Mario Galaxy.)

Samus: Mewtwo, perhaps you can try breaking the lock on Ness?

Mewtwo: (to Samus) It's not that easy. The last time I tried to break one of Master Hand's spell locks, which was on a jar of Mew-shaped cookies that I wanted to eat, I failed to open it, AND it opened up a portal that unleashed a Dark Pulse on me...

Mr. Game and Watch: Beep beeeep MEEP [Super effective damage!)

Mewtwo: (eyes glowing yellow; ghetto) UP YOS, FOO'!

(Mr. Game and Watch pulls out his bucket in anticipation of one of Mewtwo's special moves. With a wave of Mewtwo's hand, he fires a fast wave of energy, knocking the liquid mercury man straight out, as well as cleaving the big, comfy sofa in half)

Bowser: (on the floor and on his back) Oh great, NOW I'm upside down! (Marth helps him up)

Mewtwo: (proud) Psycho Cut. An example of my physical strength.

Samus: Enough gloating! Can you do it, Mewtwo?

Mewtwo: (smirking) Hmm, eager to be reunited with your special one, Samus? (smirk becomes a smile at her infuriated blush)

Mario: (annoyed) Oh don't-a you speak-a like-a the Rosalina!

Mewtwo: Nevertheless, I will give it a shot.

(With this, the Psychic Pokemon closed his eyes, and began glowing a blue aura. The aura then enveloped Ness, some random objects in the room, and Ike's Aether sword.)

Ike: HEY! That sword is not yours!

Mewtwo: I am only borrowing this for a moment, human!

(An angry-looking hand spirit flew out of the Onett boy's head, and was cackling all over the room.)

Luigi: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (panicking like a fuck) GHOST! GHOST! GHOST! GHOST! GHOST-(gets backhanded by Donkey Kong and Roy)

Donkey Kong and Roy: SHUT UP!

(The hand spirit starts firing lasers all over the place, making everyone take cover behind something that can't exactly be lasered.)

Mewtwo: (spinning Ike's sword around his body; directing his 'voice' to Wario) Distract that hand.

Wario: Hey! Who are you? The boss of me? I'M NOT DOING IT-(dodges a laser coming his way) WAAAAH! (starts running around)

Pit: Hey, look! (waves his bow, and fires an arrow through the hand) Over here!

Zelda: What the? (notices a spiritual chain between Ness's head and the hand) There's a link there!

Link: Huh? I'm over here!

Zelda: Not what I meant, hero!

Link: (rude) Hey, excuuuuuuuuuse me, princess! (dodges a laser) OH JEEZ!

Mewtwo: I see it! (His glowing body launches the Aether sword, severing the link and banishing the seal from this dimensional plane)

Wario: (unmoved by it's stupid-sounding death) Meh, I've seen worse.

(Unfortunately, the side-effect of banishing the seal takes effect, opening a large set of dark fangs digging right into Mewtwo's sides, letting loose a pained scream!)

Mario: MEWTWO!

Samus: (catches the falling Mewtwo) Are you alright? Mewtwo?

Mewtwo: Damn... that's one strong Crunch...

Ganondorf: Bah. Walk it off, pussy-(gets a chair flung into his head) OW! Try again!

Mewtwo: Not... funny... (breathes hard, then faints)

Pikachu: PIIIIIIKA[MEWWWWTWO!)

(Suddenly, a warming pulse of energy went through Mewtwo's body, removing any damage down to him. Everyone turns around to see Ness, sitting up and channeling a technique through to the Pokemon.)

Ness: (focused) Come on... PSI Lifeup Gamma! (sends another charge of life energy to Mewtwo, bringing him back from his faint condition; tired) Phew... I'm pooped... (is suddenly glomped by Pichu, Jigglypuff, Pikachu, Young Link, and Diddy Kong) H-hey guys! I know I don't know ONE of you here! And I'm STILL pissed at another one of you guys!

Diddy Kong: OOK! Guilty!

Young Link: Yeah, and up yours, Ness!

Captain Falcon: Heh! We thought we lost ya, little man!

Mewtwo: (getting up on his feet) Well, it worked, for once. We were able to remove the limiter on Ness's ability to use healing abilities. It should prove useful to us in the future...

Mario: But importantly, it is-a starting to get-a late.

Zelda: We should all get some rest, and then in the morning, we will be preparing for our battle.

Ness: (lost) Battle? What's going on?

Mr. Game and Watch: Meep bing ding meep beep bing. Beep, (yawns) meep biiiiiing beep. [We'll explain everything in the morning. Now, (yawns) it's sleeeeepy time.)

Donkey Kong: Yep. Time to hit the hay, everybody!

Falco: Hey, I got my first line in-WHAT WE'RE HEADING TO BED ALREADY? But I got so much to talk about!

Ike: (slightly irritated) Oh, I'm gonna have fun beating on you, birdy.

That's technically the end of the chapter here, but here's two extra scenes: one to further boost my favorite pairing here for Smash, and one of hilarity. So enjoy! Or not; either way, review and tell me what ya think!

(As everyone heads out of the Lounge, Ness is about to do the same, but his hand is immediately gripped by a stronger, slender one.)

Samus: (looking down at the Onett boy) Ness...

Ness: Samus, (happy) I'm glad you're okay-(gets slapped by Samus) Ow! What's your problem?

Samus: (fluctuating anger) Don't you ever... EVER... PUT yourself in that kind of situation again!

(Before Ness can even protest about it, Samus kneels down and holds Ness tightly. Her eyes were shut hard, trying to keep herself from acting all girly by crying and sobbing. The instant his hands held her body in turn, however, broke her down, even if just a little, with a few tears coming down her shut eyes. They stayed like that for a few minutes.)

Ness: Samus... (guilty) I made you worry because of me, didn't I?

Samus: (brushing her eyes) D-don't be ridiculous, boy... (sighs) but then again, I can't exactly hide that from someone who can read minds... (feels a nod from Ness) Heh... I guess Mewtwo was right when he called you my special one.

Ness: (blushing madly) So you do like me, then?

Samus: But I can't! (feeling the tears coming again) Because... because of that Paula girl, and the fact you're still a child, and we're completely different people!

(Her tears suddenly stopped, when his hand pressed against her cheek, and she felt a shot of energy course through her.)

Ness: (looking into a confused Samus's eyes) PSI Healing. Good for curing crying, amongst other things.

(A shy smirk crawled up her lips, as she planted her hands on Ness's shoulders, and kissed him. His face beyond crimson, he kissed back, feeling the warm feeling course through them both.)

Roy: Okay, fur bag, let me in first!

Donkey Kong: No way! I'm in first!

(Roy and Donkey Kong are pushing each other, and even close to battling each other, to see who gets to use the bathroom first)

Roy: Let me in, Kong, or I'll skin you and wear a gorilla chest vest!

Donkey Kong: Try that, and I'll rip your pretty hair off and use it to get all the ladies while you suffer with unpopularity! Oh wait, you already DO!

Roy and Donkey Kong: (scuffling) RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE-

Captain Falcon: (kicks his door down; rage) I'M NOT PUTTING UP WITH YOU TWO AND YOUR ARGUINGS! (his fists are burning red!) Time to end teen pregnancies! FALCOOOOOON...

Roy and Donkey Kong: ... CRAP!

Captain Falcon: PUUUUUUUUNCH!

(Commence pain)

NOW it's the end... PEACE OUT until the next chapter!