Set: Just play along! Spike's in love with Buffy, but she doesn't know, Riley doesn't exist (yay!), Buffy's sharing a dorm with Willow still cuz Tara doesn't exist, and Dawn isn't . Just trust me on this one. Summary: Come with me into a world of fairies and demons, goblins and witches, Buffys and Spikes and Willy the Snitches, Watchers and werewolves, vampires galore, myths and black magicks, princesses and more! (OK, spontaneous outburst. Ignore it.) A response to homework 2, set by DKFairy on 2/6/02 Rating: PG-13 Pairings: B/S - I wouldn't be writing it otherwise. Disclaimer: Once upon a time there was a genius called Joss Whedon - stop me if you've heard this one before - and he made a terrible film called Buffy the Vampire Slayer. This film really, REALLY sucked, but it inspired a TV show with characters such as Dawn, Willow, Tara, Xander, Anya, Angel, Cordelia, Giles, Buffy herself and the 'sizzling Spike'. People around the world loved this show, and so they wrote stories about what they think will or should happen. None of the characters belong to these fans, but they like to borrow them for no fee. Thus was born the fanfiction phenomenon. The End. Oh, and that's what this is. Don't sue. Feedback: Praise to s_star , insults to your Recycle Bin. Kidding, but no hate mail or death threats, 'kay? Dedication: DK: only you could come up with that! /b

Must have:

Scooby Gang minus Tara, Oz comes back.

Clown suit

Pink umbrella with frills

Faulty fireworks

Alarm clock

Buffy turned into garden fairy for a day

Shrunken shoes

Optional (at least 6): Beanstalk

Cans of spray paint

Blue hairspray

Bubble bath

Toothpaste

Faulty radio

Tic Tacs - orange and lime

Mini car crash

Screwdriver

Giant pile of balloons

Water butt

Antique silver cutlery

Cat

Sandwich presser

My Little Pony

Bottles of wine

Cheese sandwiches

Washing line

Ant colony

Storm /b

'Come on, Will, this isn't funny!' moaned Buffy, scrabbling around in her closet for her shoes. 'We're on stage in five minutes, you can at least give me a clue!'

Willow giggled as she watched her friend frantically searching for her satin shoes. They were due to put on a performance to raise money for the college renovations, and someone had had the idea of doing a fairy tale montage. Willow had been in charge of directing, and Buffy was fairy number three, responsible, along with numbers one and two, for set changes and skits during the intervals. There was just one problem: she couldn't find her costume.

'That's it!' Buffy finally emerged, newly dyed blue hair a mess after hunting round their room for about half an hour. 'What have you done with them?'

'I haven't touched your shoes, Buff, honest! Why don't you check the laundry room?'

'I've still gotta sort out my hair. I have no idea what possessed you to suggest one fairy with pink hair, one with green and one with blue.'

'Disney's Sleeping Beauty, mostly. That and the look on your face right now.' Buffy continued to glare at her so the witch finally levered herself off her bed. 'Fine, I'll go.'

As soon as Willow had shut the door, Buffy collapsed on the bed with a groan. What a day it had been so far! And, glancing over at her alarm clock to see that she had less than five minutes till curtain up, she knew that it could all get worse much, much faster.

Suddenly she remembered that instead of going down to laundry with the shoes, she'd taken them to the new laundry place on campus. Pulling on a heavy black coat and some boots which she found by the bed, Buffy took off at a run. She arrived at the new 'garden' area at the back of Stevenson Hall in record time and checked the list. Sure enough, there was Buffy Summers, listed as having wanted shoes washed by hand, and hung out to dry, not tumble-dried, so that they stayed the right colour. There was just one thing she hadn't bargained for, though: when she reached the collection point, she saw a pair of blue fairy the right size for a real fairy. Apparently the students desperate enough to work here had no idea about how to clean. Grabbing them off the line, she turned to go back to her dorm.

'At least it can't get much worse, barring the entrance of the four horsemen of the apocalypse,' she muttered. Then the lightning began to flash. 'Or that.'

She sprinted to the auditorium, bumping into Willow on the way.

'Any luck?' asked the redhead urgently.

'Got them. They just happen to be toddler size.' She held up the ruined pair of shoes and pouted. 'Kill me now.'

'Buffy, the show's gonna start any minute! You can do this, just work round it!' With that, the redheaded whirlwind flew off to supervise the lighting, leaving Buffy the fairy to sit down on the step, head in her hands.

'Shut up!' she yelled to the thunder, which was getting progressively louder. 'At least if fairytales were real, none of this would happen. I bet we'd all get a happy ending, even the Slayer.' The only response was another flash of lightning, and this somehow motivated her. Picking up her shoes, she marched off to the stage with a new resolve, and, as the curtain rose and she stepped on, she felt as if she was walking into a new world.

.Because she was. When Buffy Summers walked onstage, she found herself not on the badly painted set, but in a real forest. At least that was how it seemed. The plants around her were lush and green, and the air had that fresh smell, as if it had just been raining. Everything seemed more vivid now, more alive somehow. Turning as a strand of grass brushed against her side, she noticed that everything also seemed bigger. At this point, she also realised that she was floating. No, no . With a small pair of wings that were somehow attached to her back. She was a fairy. A real fairy. At the bottom of a garden, or so it seemed. She decided to investigate, flying as high and fast as her wings would take her, arriving at the back of what looked like a small stone cottage from a storybook.

Curiouser and curiouser, she thought to herself with a bitter laugh, fluttering up to the window. There, inside, was a small boy. Squinting, she recognised the face - Xander. He was sitting inside at a low wooden table, waiting patiently for something.

Well, she reasoned, if Xander's being patient, it really can't be worth waiting for. Raising her arm slowly, she knocked on the window as hard as she could, calling out Xander's name.

Either he didn't hear or he just wasn't responding, and Buffy sincerely hoped it was the former. Just then, a woman entered. She looked young, with extremely pale skin and jet-black hair, and she laid a large platter of butter cake down in front of Xander. Then Buffy twigged. Hansel and Gretel! That lady was going to eat Xander. Why the demons always went for him, she'd never know, but they did. Then Buffy gingerly reached out and picked a small lump of brick from the wall and lifted it to her mouth. Sure enough, it was gingerbread. She had to find a way to save him, but there was no way in or out, and, being so small, Buffy didn't really think force was the way to go. None of her fairy magicks seemed to be working either, so she decided to go get help.

Off she flew, not knowing her destination, just hoping for someone to help her. On the way, she passed a village, and in that village was a small copse. Instinctively, she turned towards it, and was just in time to see a slight figure all in red turning down a path. Little Red Riding Hood? she thought. Clichéd much? Still she followed, and was just in time to hear a ferocious growl followed by a shriek. Speeding round the corner, she saw a half-transformed Oz snarling as the girl ran away, deeper into the woods. As soon as Red Riding Hood had gone, though, he appeared to calm down, turning back into his human form.

'Oz?' she asked. 'Oz? Can you hear me?'

'Who are you?' he asked, sounding slightly freaked out, which was an amazing surge of emotion coming from him.

'It's me, Buffy. Look, do you know why we're trapped here?'

'Trapped?'

'Yeah. And anyway, why are you here? You left, remember?'

'Do you know the way to Grandma's or not?'

'No, I don't. Why are you asking me that?'

'Stop wasting my time,' he said, sloping off into the trees.

That wasn't like Oz at all, she thought, turning and retracing her path back out onto the road. Well, if he won't help, I'll find someone who will.

So on she travelled until she reached the sea. And there, sitting on a rock amidst sprays of water, was Willow, auburn hair shining, looking just like Ariel in Disney's The Little Mermaid. She frowned, wondering why Disney. She could remember her mother telling her the original story when she was younger, and this was not it. She cautiously fluttered closer to the mermaid, relieved that one of her friends would help her.

'Will, hey.'

'Who's there?'

'It's me, Buffy. I've been turned into a fairy and you're a mermaid. You need to help me reverse it.'

'Whoever, or whatever, you are, please go away. The sun is setting.'

Turning to follow Willow's gaze, she noticed that it was. Deciding that Willow wasn't going to be much help, Buffy flew off again, eventually reaching the gates of a castle. She carefully entered, and found herself at the main door, face to face ?

'Greetings, good fairy,' she said, as if reading from a script. 'My mistress and her son and daughter dwell inside, and whatever your business may be, you must answer three riddles to enter.' She proceeded to unroll a long scroll and began to read from it.

'First question: Old Mother Twitchett has but one eye, And a long tail which she can let fly, And every time she goes over a gap, She leaves a bit of her tail in a trap.'

Buffy hovered for a minute, thinking. She'd always been terrible at riddles. Just then, a jovial voice came from behind her.

'It's a needle.'

'Correct. Second question: Two bodies have I Though both joined in one. The stiller I stand The faster I run.'

'An hourglass,' the man replied instantly.

'Correct. Final question: In marble walls as white as milk, Lined with a skin as soft as silk, Within a fountain crystal clear, A golden apple doth appear. No doors there are to this stronghold, Yet thieves break in and steal the gold,' Anya finished triumphantly, certain that neither would get the final riddle right.

But almost as soon as she'd finished the last line, the man answered, 'An egg,' and the two of them were admitted into the castle.

'Thank you. For doing the riddles, I mean. Logic really isn't my strong point.' Turning to face the man she gasped in surprise. 'Giles?'

'No, I am Rupert, private magician to the Queen.'

'But your surname, it's Giles, right?'

'That really shouldn't concern you. Have a good day.'

With that, he vanished into thin air, leaving Buffy alone once again.

Looking around, she noticed a small staircase to her left, and decided to try it. So up she went, following the winding path round the castle until she finally reached a small, dark room on one of the top floors. It contained a small, hard, straw bed and was very plain, with no carpeting or windows, unlike the rest of the house. The light source was one almost burnt out candle on the table, where someone was sitting.

She decided it was worth a try. 'Hello?' she asked tentatively, expecting anything but the response she got.

'Slayer?'

'Spike?' she asked, taking a closer look at his face.

'Yeah, it's me. Now do you want to tell me what the hell is going on?'

'I don't know.'

'What do you mean you don't know? And where are you?'

'I'm right here. I got turned into a fairy for some reason.'

'Where is here?'

'Right here. You really should get some windows in this place.'

'Vampire, remember? Sunlight doesn't really suit me.'

'Oh. Right.'

'And anyway, I'm not allowed. Feel like I'm sodding Cinderella, stuck in here.'

'You are.'

'What?'

'Everyone's been turned into fairy tales or characters. None of them realise that this isn't the real world. Except you and me.'

'Because I'm a vampire and you're the Slayer, I'd wager. We can sense things they can't.'

'I guess.'

'So, are you going to come out or not?'

'I'm not hiding!' she replied indignantly, but suddenly she had an idea. 'Find me.'

'What?'

'Find me. I've had an idea.'

Spike turned around, and, after about a minute's searching, found the fairy perched on the edge of the windowsill.

'So now you get three wishes.'

'What?'

'Three wishes for finding a fairy. Look, this may be our only chance to escape. But we've gotta do this properly, like a quest or something.'

Spike nodded, unsure. Since when was that amount of intelligence part of the normal Slayer package?

'So what do I have to wish for?'

'Okay, first, wish that you can go out in sunlight. We can't go on a quest if you can only come out at night.'

'Fine. I wish that I can go out in sunlight.'

'Wish granted. Okay, now we can't just wish ourselves out of here, so we need tools. Wish for a map.'

'A map? Oh please, the only map that'll help us now is that enchanted one that shows where you need to go, and that's legendary.'

'Wish for it.'

'Okay then. I wish for the enchanted map that'll tell us where we have to go.'

'Got it,' she said, and the map flew into his hand.

'Now finally we've gotta wish for-'

She was cut off by Spike blurting out his final wish. 'I wish that Buffy was her normal Slayer self again.'

'Fine,' she replied, instantly transforming back to normal size. 'Thanks.'

''S okay. Just didn't much fancy having to go on a quest with a fairy buzzing round my shoulders.'

'It was still nice, though.' At that point she yawned widely.

'Long day?'

She nodded. 'All too long. Do you mind if I take a nap?'

'Fine by me, pet. Mind if I join you?'

'What?'

'I said mind if I join you. I have to get some rest as well, y'know. Spent all day bein' bossed around by Darla.'

'Darla's the queen?'

'That's not the best part. The ugly sisters are Angelus and Dru.'

At this Buffy began to laugh in earnest. 'And you're Cinderella.'

'Yeah, God help me. When do we leave?'

'We leave in the morning. Sleep now.'

Spike walked over and tentatively lay down, putting as much space between himself and Buffy as possible, before they both drifted off into a long, dreamless sleep.

-*-*-*-

Buffy woke up with a cool arm draped round her waist and Spike's head buried in her hair. The vampire was still fast asleep, but she still wondered how much of this was intentional. Banishing the thought as quickly as it had come, Buffy snuggled closer into his embrace. He may be her mortal enemy, but, as he'd said before, he was all she had. At least for now. It was scary how much she relied on him, actually.

'Slayer? You awake?'

'Mm hmm,' she replied, before realising just how close they were. She scooted forward a bit before turning to face him. 'We all ready to go?'

'I think so. But you might wanna comb through your hair first.'

'Hey!' She hit him gently before reaching for a comb that was lying handily on the desk. She quickly ran it through her hair before standing up. 'So how do we get out of here?'

'Front door?'

'Window?'

'Can't take the Slayer out of the girl. Just say I'm running an errand for the queen. That'll get me past Anya the doorman.'

'Yeah, what's with that?' she asked as they left the room, handing Spike the bag containing the map and everything else they'd had handy.

'Don't ask me. I wasn't the one that got us here.'

'And I was?'

'Must've been. You didn't make any wishes lately, did you?'

'Not that I remember. I did say life would be easier if we were all in fairy tales, but that's kinda different.'

'And then you had that crappy little school play to do.'

'How did you know about that?'

'People talk.'

'About UC Sunnydale's drama schedule?'

'Well, nothing interesting's been happening lately. Anyway, you wish that, and, being in the play?' She nodded. 'Your wish must've come true.'

'So now what?'

'You've gotta live a fairy tale, like you wanted. Then life'll return to however normal it can be.'

'Which fairy tale?'

'That's the million dollar question, love.'

'How do you know about this anyway?'

'Lived with Dru for over a century. Turns out that about one in every hundred of her insane babblings actually makes sense.'

'Cool. Now let's do this.'

When they reached the door, they found . She wasn't there. Breathing a sigh of relief, Buffy walked out into the sunlight, but Spike didn't follow. When she looked behind her, though, he was standing in the hallway talking to someone in a clown suit.

When she got a closer look, she couldn't help but snort with laughter.

'What?' asked the person indignantly. 'Is there something funny about my uniform?'

'Uniform? I thought you were the doorman?'

Anya turned and glared at her. 'The queen is having a party today and I am court jester!'

'Why does that not surprise me?' Buffy muttered. 'Spike, are you coming?'

'Er, yeah. Just gimme a sec.'

'Why?'

'I haven't been out in the sun for a hundred years, pet. I wanna savour the moment in case the mojo you worked turned out wrong.'

'Just get out here.' She grabbed his sleeve and pulled him out into the daylight. After a few seconds of standing there open-mouthed, he took her hand and began to run out of the castle grounds and into the field nearby, laughing and leaping like a kid in a sweet shop.

She stopped for breath and watched as he gazed at the world around him, noticing the way his blond hair appeared to shine and the way his eyes - had they always been that blue? - twinkled as he looked at the world in a new light: the light of day.

'Okay, so where first?' he asked, finally calming down.

'Check the map.'

As he opened it out, a glittering mist puffed up and settled over a spot just to the north of them.

'That's settled then. Coming?'

They walked together through the fields, chatting absently about this world, the real world, and what they thought the quest would entail. As they reached the edge of the next plain, they gasped simultaneously. There, towering in front of them, was a huge beanstalk.

'Fairy tale number one,' murmured Buffy, glancing up to where it disappeared into the thick layer of puffy white clouds. 'Ready to climb?'

'As I'll ever be.' They walked together to the base of the plant and looked up. And up. And up. The base was about the width of the two of them when they stood side by side.

'Okay, well, I'll go first,' she said, unsurely taking a step up onto the first branch. Spike followed after her, and together they climbed up the beanstalk.

When Buffy reached the top she looked around with astonishment. Everything around was white, and the cloud she was standing on was soft and springy.

Spike came to stand beside her. 'Bloody hell.'

'You said it first. I'm beginning to think that maybe this wasn't such a good idea.'

'Look on the bright side: we haven't met the giant yet.'

'Oh God. Let's get out of here.'

'Buffy, listen. We can't leave this world unless we do this. Do you wanna be stuck here forever?'

'No. Which way do we go?'

Spike took out the map and waited for the mist to settle. 'That way,' he said, pointing straight ahead.

They walked for about ten minutes but didn't see anything but clouds.

'Are you sure this is the right way?'

'You conjured the map. If it's wrong we can only blame you.'

'Me? You made the wish! It's the way you worded it that makes it wrong if anything!'

'I don't believe you're saying this! It's your fault we came here in the first place!'

'Look, can we this right now? We've been zapped into a fairy tale dimension where we're on a mysterious quest involving beanstalks which we have to complete in order to get home and if we don't we'll be stuck here forever.' She sank down onto the ground in despair and Spike just watched her indecisively.

'Buffy, we'll get out of here. Trust me, we can do it.'

'We?' she asked finally.

'Yes, we. We're in this together. I won't rest until we get back. Even if it kills me in the process.' He gave her an unsure smile and then offered his hand to her. She took it and pulled herself up.

'Thanks.'

''S okay.'

They continued to walk, still hand in hand, until they came to a house.

'Fee fi fo fum,' she whispered, reaching out a hand to knock on the door.

It was answered by a plump giantess, or at least that was the only way she could be described, brandishing a pink umbrella. 'Who's there?' she demanded, in an accent, which for some reason sounded distinctly British.

'I didn't know Mary Poppins was a fairy tale,' whispered Buffy, taking in the frilly dress and umbrella.

'Magic flying umbrellas aren't exactly everyday items, love. What's her deal?'

'I think it's for protection against intruders,' she replied, 'Not that someone that size needs it.'

'Who are you?' she asked, looking down at them.

' . Could we come in?'

'I don't know about that, dears. You see, my husband isn't exactly friendly , anything that moves. You see,' her voice dropped to a whisper, 'he has a thing for humans. He likes to eat them.' The giantess stepped back, expecting that news to have struck fear into the hearts of the visitors, but Buffy and Spike just exchanged amused looks and stood fast.

'But we've travelled so far and we're really tired. Please just let us stay for a few hours.'

'Well, my husband isn't due to be back for another five , okay, make yourselves at home.' She stood to the side and watched as the two small figures stepped past her into the main room. It contained a table and two large chairs, each leg of which was wider than the beanstalk, and everything around them was giant-sized too.

'So, what would you like to eat? I'm afraid we only have meat, my husband's very strict about that.'

'Do you have any blood?' asked Buffy carefully, sparing a glance for the vampire beside her.

'Blood?' She gave them a strange look but went into the pantry and fetched the giants' equivalent of a pint glass filled with blood. 'It's human. From the last time he went out to hunt.' She placed it in front of Buffy who passed it to Spike.

'It's for my friend,' she explained. 'Do you have any bread?'

'Actually, I think we do.' She left again and returned with a small loaf of bread and some water. 'There you go. So do you little darlings want to tell me where you're from?'

Spike smirked at the use of the endearment. The two of them were anything but darlings. He wondered what the giantess would say if she knew that he was a notorious vampire and she was the legendary Slayer. But then again, would the myth of the Slayer still exist in a fairy tale world? And if not, would Buffy still be the Slayer? Well, he had wished for her to be 'her old Slayer self', that should have done the trick. And the kick that hit his shin at that moment assured him that she was, indeed, still Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

'What is it now, , Buffy?'

'I was just telling this nice woman about the castle where you used to live.' She gave him a look that said play along or they'll be finding your body for weeks.

'What about it, pet?'

'The queen, your brother and was it like to live with them?' asked the giantess eagerly.

'Well.' Spike began, and he proceeded to tell a sob story of 'Spikerella' without the happy ending. By the end, when he and Buffy had escaped after a long adventure involving a dragon, both women were staring at him open- mouthed.

'That was so sweet!' exclaimed the giant. 'I need a drink. Anyone for cocoa?' She bustled off into the kitchen to make their chocolate and Buffy turned to the blond vampire beside her.

'Where did you learn to lie like that?'

'I wasn't lying, love. I was telling a story. I always wanted to be a writer, but frankly my poems sucked. Guess something stuck, though.'

'Got that right. But did you have to put in the romance scenes?'

'Essential to any fairy tale, Slayer. Princess and prince or whatever. Made it more authentic. In this world I'm betting the truth won't get you anything but a few strange looks. Things like what I just told you are more everyday around here.'

'You really didn't have much of a life, did you?'

'Still don't.' He shook his head sadly. 'I still don't.'

Just then a rumble came from outside, and a glance through the window confirmed their fears: the giant was home. They jumped down from the chair they were sharing and ran into the kitchen.

'We've gotta hide,' they said simultaneously, and the giantess helped Buffy into a large cookie jar on the side and Spike into the oven. Then they watched in horror as the giant, larger than his wife, entered the house. Except there was no 'fee fi fo fum' with this one. He just walked over to the giantess and pinned her against the wall.

'Where are they?'

She just pointed dumbly to the kitchen and he released her and walked in. He stood in the middle of the floor between the two and sniffed. Buffy stiffened in place as he walked over to her hiding place. So much for the giantess trying to help. Just as he reached out his hand to open the lid of the cookie jar, a voice sounded from the other wall.

'I think it's me you're after.'

Buffy gasped audibly when she saw Spike standing in front of the giant, effectively distracting their foe.

'You don't smell fresh,' complained the giant.

'Yeah, well, maybe you need some gum for that cold then, cause I'm the freshest meat you're gonna find in this room.'

The giant paused for a moment, considering this, before lunging at the vampire. His massive bulk hit the floor but Spike rolled away.

'And if you want me, you're just gonna have to catch me first.'

The giant may have been larger, but Spike was faster and nimbler, dodging and darting away, gradually dragging all the giant's attention away from Buffy. As the fight went on, she could see the vampire was beginning to tire, but was unable to move as she watched the two battling it out. The opponent, however, had enough fat to store three lifetimes' worth of energy, and Spike had always , Spike-sized. Vampires didn't really gain weight. But now, even with all the blood he'd consumed earlier, the various gashes on his body weren't healing as quickly as they should have done, and he was visibly slowing, finding it harder to deflect all the blows that came at him. Finally, he was kneeling on the floor, panting for unnecessary oxygen as he tried to restore at least the smallest proportion of his energy, but the giant had other ideas, picking him up and placing him on the tabletop.

'So, little one, you try to defeat me?'

'Damn right I do. You're a bloody threat to mankind, goin' round eating people like that,' he choked out.

'Well, I won't be eating any more people for a while, because I think you'll keep me going for a few more days. You seem quite strong for someone so small.'

'Better believe it.'

The giant laughed. 'Joking until your dying breath. You've got quite a character. It's a pity I won't be getting to know you any better.' He reached down to hit the vampire for the last time, and, with his last unneeded breath, Spike managed to choke out four words.

Buffy stood in the cookie jar, watching as Spike willingly lay back on the table, assuring herself that no matter what, she could get herself out of this. He'd helped a lot, but you couldn't win everything. Remembering that the giant in the story had always wanted to sleep when he'd finished eating, she made a plan to make a break for it when he took his post-Spike nap. She settled back, smiling, content with this plan. Then she heard Spike's last words followed by a loud bang. Suddenly the world appeared to fade away, leaving nothing but her. Her and the giant and Spike's final sentence echoing in her ears, over and over again: 'Buffy, I love you.'

-*-*-*-

'Buffy, I love you.' I love you. The words any woman would be dying to hear. I love you. And Spike had said them? That was just confusing. And icky, in a nice, floaty feeling kinda way. I love you. His last words had been for her. Buffy, I love you. That's what he'd said. And now...now he ? In a giant's stomach, most probably. And his last words had been those four. Short, small words. Words that meant the world. Buffy, I love you.

Her thought loop was cut short when the giant roared. 'Buffy? There's another one here?'

'No, mate,' said Spike, obviously in pain. 'That was kind of a declaration of despair. God, how many people did you say you've killed? You've gotta know that a person's last thought is for the one they love. Honestly, you call yourself a murderer?'

'What does that mean?'

'I've killed, what, thousands of people back home? I've been living for about a hundred and fifty years, surviving on human blood alone until I got this stupid chip in my head, but that's not the point. The point is that every guy I've killed so far has been thinking love thoughts right until the last drop has gone. So that's all it is. Now, are you going to kill me or not?'

'You've lived for over a century?'

Spike nodded. 'Damn right I have.'

'And you've killed that many?'

He nodded again. 'And more.'

The giant came to sit in front of him, interested. 'So what type of creature are you?'

Spike told him about vampires, and everything about his life, all the while buying time for Buffy to escape. But she just shook her head and listened, spellbound, to his tales, mouthing that she wasn't leaving without him.

'Just get out!' he had mouthed as the giant retreated into his bedroom.

'I'm not leaving you.'

'This is your only chance. I'll catch you up.'

'You'll never make it. There is no argument, I'm staying until we can both escape.'

'Fuck, Slayer, what is wrong with you?' he shouted, this time out loud. This exclamation brought both giants rushing from their chamber. Buffy had no time to hide properly, and the hungry couple advanced on her.

'Dammit!' Summoning his last ounce of strength, Spike levered himself up and grabbed a small sword which just happened to be propped up against the wall. Thank goodness for fairy tale logic, he thought, as he jumped from the table, embedding the blade partway into the larger giant's back.

When the giant turned to see Spike with the sword, Buffy seized her chance. Picking up the nearest piece of kitchen equipment, her Slayer strength enabling her to bear its weight, she swiped at the giantess, taking her off guard. Buffy's fight was over very quickly, her power and speed giving her an advantage over the giant, who fell to the floor, dead. Spike wasn't faring quite so well, though: the earlier match had drained him, and it was all he could do to remain standing.

Without any further thought, Buffy ran over and helped him, killing the giant almost instantly.

She turned to Spike who, if it was possible, seemed paler than usual, and smiled.

' God you're all right,' he said before collapsing.

'Spike?' she asked, kneeling down beside him. 'Spike, come on; stop it. You need blood, I can get blood, just get up, okay?'

'I'm afraid he can't hear you,' said a familiar voice. Turning, Buffy saw Joyce standing over her in a long puffy blue dress.

'Fairy godmother,' she whispered. 'I could've done with your help a little sooner.'

'Sorry, I'm on a schedule. I just have to give you this.' She snapped her fingers and the room changed to an elaborate chamber. 'And this.' A book appeared in front of her, all in French, with gold writing on the front. 'Complete Fairy Tales' was the title, but Buffy found herself unable to read any more than that, despite the amount of French classes she was meant to have taken. 'It may take more than language to translate it. Actions speak louder than words. Good luck, Buffy.' With that, she disappeared, and Buffy found herself alone in the room.

She took in her surroundings carefully: the walls were deep cream, pale gold, and they shone in the light of what was now sunset. Glancing through the window, Buffy was relieved to see that she was back on ground level. There were two red velvet chairs, one on each side of the bed. It was a four-poster, with red velvet drapes and red silk sheets, and lying on it, still sleeping like the , bad metaphor, thought Buffy, looking down at him. But he looked dead. Obviously he didn't have to breathe, so he just lay there, not moving, arms crossed over his chest, like a corpse. She reached out and tenderly brushed her hand over his cheek. 'Don't worry; we'll get through this. Together. I promise.' She smiled to herself and lay down next to him, snuggling close to his cold body as she waited for sleep.

-*-*-*-

When she finally woke up, Buffy found the dressing table laid with items for her and the bathroom door open. Picking up some shampoo and some bubble bath, she bathed and washed her hair, before getting dressed in the new clothes which had been considerately put out for her. She laughed out loud when she saw herself in the mirror: she had her hair loose and wavy, glowing gold in the light, and she was wearing a typical pink princess dress. She took a piece of bread and butter before brushing her teeth with the toothbrush and toothpaste above the sink and then returned to the bedside. Spike was still out cold, and there was nothing she could do to help. Tears threatened to spill then, so she did her best to try and hold them back. It was just so unfair, though: Spike had almost willingly given his unlife for her and now she'd somehow managed to get him locked in an enchanted sleep. Enchanted was it! All things considered, it wasn't that difficult to figure out. Kind of a one plus one deal, actually. Spike put in enchanted sleep, to awake had to kiss him. It was Sleeping Beauty, except that he was more a beast than a beauty. Hmm, Sleeping Beast. She had to remember that in future. Leaning down to kiss him, she heard a soft voice from behind her.

'That's not it.'

Buffy turned to see why the voice sounded so familiar, but it belonged to someone who she'd never seen before. There was a girl standing there, about fourteen or fifteen years old. She had long brown hair and brown eyes, and still, there was something strangely familiar about her.

'What?'

'That's not it.' Buffy continued to look at her blankly. 'Meaning there's more?' There was still no reaction, so the girl sighed loudly. 'You can wake him with a kiss, but you won't be able to escape yet. There's more to come, more to do first.'

'I.I'm sorry, do you?'

'Not yet. But you will. I can promise you that.'

'So why are you here?'

'God only knows. They probably ran out of members of your gang to use. They've already got Anya doubling.'

'So I've seen. Wait a minute, doubling? Like this is all an act?'

'A little show put on by the Powers That Be for your enjoyment.'

'What, so everyone's in? None of this is real?'

'All the world's a stage, Buffy.' At this, the girl faded away, leaving a very confused Buffy.

'Fine. Well, even if I can't figure out her deal, she said that I can still wake up Spike this way. So, here goes. Kissing a sleeping dead guy, take one.' Buffy leant down and gently pressed a kiss to his lips. Almost instantly, his eyelids fluttered open.

'Buffy?' he asked groggily.

'Right here,' she replied, running a hand through his hair. 'You know, you might wanna wash.' She gestured towards the table and the bathroom. 'Cause I don't think being dead explains that smell.'

He hit her playfully and then looked around. 'Where am I?'

Buffy laughed softly. 'It's kind of a long story. Okay, strike that. It's pretty short. But I think we've done fairy tale number two.' She lay down next to him and explained everything that had happened since she killed the giant.

'Oh, yeah, about the whole last words thing. I didn't.I mean , I'm so bad at this. Buffy, I-'

She cut him off with a kiss, which he returned with just as much passion, and she rolled them over so she was on top of him.

Joyce stood with her arm round Dawn's shoulders, watching through her magic glass as the two lovers discovered each other for the first time, but soon she blanked it out and stood looking down at the map in front of her, her finger tracing a path to a large cavern on the eastern side. Within it would lie their third and final challenge. She sighed sadly, knowing that it would be hard for her daughter to overcome the last obstacle, but Dawn turned to her and smiled.

'She'll do it. Don't doubt her heart. Buffy may be the Slayer, but she'll do the right thing.'

'I hope so, Dawnie. I really hope so.'

-*-*-*-

'God, I love you so much,' whispered Spike, placing small kisses on Buffy's hair.

'I know,' she sighed, stretching languidly, noticing the pain and disappointment that crossed his features when she didn't return his sentiments. She began to feel slightly uncomfortable, so she wisely decided to change the subject. 'So, what are we doing next? With the quest, I mean,' she added quickly.

'Check the map.'

She reached over for it and laid it on the bedspread between them, and the mist seemed to settle to the east, above a cave.

'Guess it's eastward-ho then,' Buffy said without much enthusiasm.

'I'm gonna go have a shower first. Just in case you were serious about that smell.'

'Would I be lying here with you if you smelt?'

'There's no accounting for taste, love,' he replied, standing up and moving towards the bathroom.

She watched as he disappeared and shut the door behind him and then retrieved her dress and put it on. Slumping into one of the chairs, she groaned. Why was her life so complicated?

-*-*-*-

As the couple walked, hand in hand, to their destination, the atmosphere between them was light and happy. The sun was shining down on them, and the world seemed brighter somehow; the colours were more vivid, and the small sounds, like birds singing, seemed louder. Everything seemed alive. So on they went, sometimes talking about anything and everything, sometimes just being silent; being together.

Finally they reached their destination: a small hollow in a rock face, just large enough for the two of them to squeeze through. When they did, they stopped, awestruck. Inside the cavern was a large dragon, far, far below the small ledge they were balancing on. There were other ledges positioned around the wall, but there was no way they could reach far enough down to slay the dragon without killing themselves in the process.

Buffy hopped down onto a larger ledge just below and Spike followed. She told him her plan and he nodded, accepting the sword she offered him. Then Buffy stepped up to the edge and threw down a large rock. It hit its target and the dragon moved, causing the entire cave to shake. It let out a tremendous roar before flapping its leathery wings and flying up, gradually nearing their spot. As soon as it was within reach, Buffy took a running jump and landed on the beast's back, plunging her sword deep into its neck. This didn't kill it, but slowed it sufficiently for Spike to jump down behind her. Together they worked on gradually piercing holes in the dragon's tough hide, but suddenly it twisted in the air. Buffy managed to grab hold of its ears to keep her upright, but Spike had nothing but the shiny scales around him. As he fell, he tried to grab one of the dragon's large claws, but it took a swipe at him and the talon pierced his skin. He immediately vamped out, and, with a roar, fell to the bottom of the pit.

Buffy could do nothing but watch as he slowly disappeared from view, hoping beyond hope that there was nothing sharp and wooden below them. With renewed vigour, she stabbed at the dragon, which was now losing power rapidly and writhing in agony, and, with one final thrust, she buried the sword to the hilt in the creature's heart. It let out a horrific cry before vanishing in a puff of smoke. She grabbed onto the nearest platform and pulled herself up, jumping from ledge to ledge as she tried to reach the bottom. When she arrived, all her friends were standing in a ring around her, with Joyce and the mysterious girl in from of her.

She slowly took the book out of her bag and laid it down in front of her. Suddenly, it began to glow gold and the pages fluttered open. Then Xander stepped forward and a golden mist flew out of him and landed on the page, transforming itself into the words 'Hansel and Gretel', and then the story wrote itself out on the following pages, with an illustration of Xander. He stepped back and Oz floated forward. From him came 'Little Red Riding Hood', and from Willow 'The Little Mermaid'. 'Jack and the Beanstalk' and 'Sleeping Beauty' appeared, Giles, Anya and Joyce gave 'Cinderella', and the girl gave 'Snow White' for some reason. As soon as that story appeared on the page, Buffy remembered everything.

'Dawnie?' she asked softly.

The girl nodded and then stepped aside to reveal Spike. He was locked in a cage in full vamp mode, growling and snarling.

'What happened?' asked Buffy, rushing over to the cage.

'The dragon cut him,' explained Dawn. 'Its talons had something in them; it brought out his demonic self. Behind every successful man is a demon. I wonder where I've heard that before?' She smiled for a minute before looking back over at Buffy, who was kneeling down in front of the vampire. 'You've got to decide what to do now.'

Buffy thought for what felt like an age before walking back over to her bag and picking up a stake, which she took in her hand firmly before walking back to the cage. She took a deep breath.

'Okay, I killed Angel and he was good, so I can kill Spike the evil demon,' she assured herself.

Joyce and Dawn exchanged worried glances. Surely she wouldn't do it? She couldn't kill him, couldn't fail having gotten so far? Everything she'd done so far had led up to this choice of heart or destiny, and she had to make the right 't she?

Buffy opened the cage door and stepped inside, still holding up the stake.

Spike backed into the corner, amber eyes glowing with an ethereal light as he watched her movements. She came and stood in front of him, her resolution fading as she saw, deep in those glowing eyes, some trace of the man she had been in the arms of only a few hours earlier. A tiny trace of the man who would have willingly given his life to a giant for her only yesterday. A glimmer of the man who had been lying in an enchanted sleep that morning, looking young and vulnerable as he lay on the bed, unconscious. And something inside her snapped as she remembered his last words to her yesterday. 'Buffy, I love you.' And, in the eyes of the demon, that still remained. A constant, holding him back from his instincts to attack her. He loved her. He still loved her. And he would always love her. Unless she killed him now, and then he'd never know that she.

Dropping the stake, Buffy fell to the ground, tears flowing freely.

As if from nowhere, Spike wrapped his arms round her, rocking her gently in his embrace until her sobs died down. She looked up at his face, still demonic, and smiled.

'I love you,' she whispered, leaning up to kiss him.

Suddenly the cage disappeared, along with the stone walls around them. As Spike looked down at her again, he smiled too. His face was human again now, but something else was different.

'Your heart's beating,' Buffy breathed, putting her hand on his chest to feel it.

'I' ?' he whispered.

'Yep,' said Dawn, standing beside them. 'You're human again. But you've still got the vampire healing and strength. Figured it'd be kinda cruel to throw you out there with just a human body to survive in. But yeah. That's the final fairy tale.'

'Thank you,' said Buffy.

'I had nothing to do with it. It's your heart, you know.' With that, she disappeared, leaving the two alone.

'I love your sister,' said Spike with a smile.

Buffy pouted. 'More than you love me?'

'I love nothing more than I love you,' he replied, leaning down and brushing her lips with his own. Suddenly the entire setting shifted, and they were standing on the stage in the UC Sunnydale auditorium. But they didn't notice the thunderous applause from the crowd, didn't notice as the fireworks to celebrate the end of the show were fizzled out, didn't notice the wizard, the godmother, the girl, the jester, the boy, or the mermaid and wolf cuddled up together standing in the front row, their cheers almost deafening.

The kiss didn't break as everyone gradually filed out, Dawn giving them one last smile before she shut the door. All they knew were each other, the only things they needed at that point.

With one final glow, the words poured from their hearts and appeared in the book: 'La belle et la bête': Beauty and the Beast.

Whether or not they would live happily ever after could only be answered by time, but for now they were living a fairy tale all of their own.

*End*