London's Burning - Panto

Written by: Gemma
First published online on: 3RD December 2002
Genre: Humour
Archive: Just ask me
Spoilers: None
Staring: Sally Fields, Geoff Pearce, Adam Benjamin, Charlie Mead, Craig Ross, and George Green.
Authors notes: I had nothing better to do and it's nearly Christmas, well near - ish to Christmas, so I decided to write a themed fan fic.
Summary: Stand - Alone fic -- The Blue Watch are in their own panto of Jack and the Beanstalk, here's a behind the scenes look...

"I don't see why I have to play his mum," Sally groaned as she stood on the top of a middle - sized wooden stage in the local Church hall. A back - drop of a house with a bit of scenery was pinned to the back and stage lights, which varied in colours, hung from the ceiling.

Geoff had decided to get into the festive spirit this year. After conversations with Fiona about wanting to take little Eve to a pantomime, but there being no suitable ones in the area, he came up with a brilliant, or not so brilliant idea, that the Blue Watch would produce their own...

Geoff sighed loudly, "Sally, you're the only female person available for this production..."

"Production?" Adam repeated, pulling one of his slight confused, slight mickey - taking faces, earning himself an evil stare from Geoff, before he carried on...

"... so that means you play Jack's mother," Geoff finished.

Sally rolled her eyes, "Then at least can I wear something a bit more?"

"More what?" Geoff asked.

"Nicer... flattering?" Sally asked, holding up the end of what was an excuse for a dress.

Geoff sighed again, "This is a pantomime Sally, not a fashion show. Now come on and please start practising your lines!"

"I thought geezers played the women in panto's sub," Charlie added, matter - of - factly, earning a round of applause from both Sally and Adam, but Craig stood still on the stage, eager to carry on, as Geoff's facial expressions displayed how even more annoyed he was becoming.

"Well do I have any volunteers to play Jack's mother then?!" Geoff asked, glaring in the direction of Adam and Charlie who shook their heads, before glancing at each other and laughing like school children. "I'll take that as a no then..." Geoff murmured, before prompting Sally to carry on...

Sally rolled her eyes, as she held up her hands, lifting up her script sheet. She placed her hands on her hips dramatically and glared at Craig, "Beans... you traded our cow for beans?" she read, not exactly enthusiastically.

Geoff sighed loudly yet again, "This is going to be harder than I thought," he muttered. "Sally! This is supposed to be acting, please try to put some effort into it or you won't be in this production."

"Doesn't bother me," she muttered quietly, before rolling her eyes again and deciding to carry on and this time she put some effort into her line. "Beans?! You traded our cow for beans?!"

"But mum, they're magiiiic beans!" Craig stated as his role of Jack, as Sally cringed to being called 'mum', behind her script.

A smile finally grew on Geoff's face, "Very good Craig!"

Craig grinned, then glanced over at Sally, then Craig and Adam who were standing in the audience, hoping they would share his happiness, but was disappointed as their faces remained blank. Geoff then carried on again.

"Now Sally... this is the point when you disguard of the beans..."

Sally took hold of the three brightly - coloured sweets that were being used as the magic beans, then threw them off of the stage, hitting George who wandered in through the door, "Oi!" he yelled, "... that was me head!"

Sally smiled, trying not to break into laughter as her and Craig carried on their scene.

The scene between Jack and his mum then ended and Craig then had to run off of the stage as quickly as he could, as George was ordered to bring on the Bean Stalk prop. Geoff had assigned Frank and Mick to be in charge of the props and lighting but they had other important 'engagements' to attend to and couldn't make it to the rehersal.

George grabbed hold of the 'prop' that was made by Geoff in his spare time, which consisted of a load of cardboard, which was glued together. Apparently the real prop was being saved until the production, although no - one was actually allowed to see it until then.

One the cardboard mess was placed in the centre of the stage, Craig was required to appear back. "A beanstalk..." he emphasised, as he then pretended to climb the cardboard beanstalk, but really just made himself look completely stupid.

"Next scene!" Geoff yelled, as Adam, Craig and George sat at the back of the hall on chairs eating a packet of crisps each...

"Wow! A castle!" Craig carried on as he stood alone on the stage, then he pranced towards a door and knocked it.

"Next scene!" Geoff yelled again, "Giant's queue!" Geoff yelled, as he took his position next to the stage, waiting for the 'Giant' to appear. He stood for a minute or so, still no sign of the giant, "CHARLIE!"

At the back of the room, Adam elbowed Charlie hard in the side and he quickly got up to his feet, "Do I 'ave to do this Sub?" Charlie asked as he crossed the room, towards the stage, "I'm a fire fighter, not a bloody actor."

"Just get on the stage Charlie," Geoff replied tiredly as he handed Charlie a script.

Charlie ran up the steps of the stage and took his position on a stool next to a toy xylophone, which was being used as a harp, until one small enough was made.

"Aah, what beautiful music..." Charlie read his lines, disguising his cringing by grinning.

Craig then crawled onto the stage and it the background behind Charlie, who then stood to his feet, "FEE FI...!" Charlie began as Craig grabbed the xylophone and began to run, then slipped over, falling to the floor, causing Charlie to stop reciting his lines and Adam, George and now Sally, who were all sitting in the audience, all to laugh.

"Cut... cut... CUT!" Geoff yelled as he shook his head, hitting himself in the face with his script. He sighed quietly, then looked up at Charlie and Craig who were on the stage. "Now lets complete the last scene... Mum we need you up here, Jack needs the harp and George, we need props up here... Beanstalk, chair and axe..."

There was a little bit of movement for a while as George prized himself off of the chair he was sitting on and wandered to the back of the stage where he grabbed the 'Beanstalk', a chair and a plastic axe. Sally and Craig made their positions on the stage and Charlie waited for his chair to stand on so it looked like he was actually up the beanstalk...

"ACTION!" Geoff yelled as if he was a director of a film.

"Mum! Look at this harp!" Craig yelled, getting the attention of Sally, as Charlie mumbled words that he was following Craig, "Quick mum... get an axe!"

Sally grabbed the toy axe that was sitting on the floor, as Charlie then stepped up on the chair, then she pretended to chop down the beanstalk and ended up just kicking it over and Charlie faked a fall.

"CUT!" Geoff finished, as he stepped towards the staircase of the stage and walked up. "That was..." he paused, thinking of the appropriate wording, "Average," he stated, doing a Simon Cowell, "This definitely needs a lot of work, but I think we'll get their eventually..."