I look down at the street far below me and wonder why I suddenly feel I have to do this.

It started with the strike didn't it, fifteen years ago? That strike that occurred while my head was staying young in Never-Never Land with Peter Pan and my body was growing up in 1899 New York.

The strike…the newsboy strike of 1899…

They called me Jake then. My full name was Jacob Mathers, but they called me Jake. Always Jake.

During the strike, I was seventeen years old. I skipped around in my bright red vest, selling papers with my friends Snitch and Itey. Snitch, Itey and I were a tight-knit trio.

Until the strike…

During the strike, I noticed another newsboy, Skittery, started to grow more sure of himself. He evolved into the grown-up that he would be the rest of his life: he became Isaac Tatum. Sure, we continued to call him Skittery, but that was not what he was.

I fell in love with Isaac Tatum.

I knew about Snitch too, Mr. Danny Riccio, the little thief, stealing as many hearts as he did watches. I knew Snitch loved my Isaac. But…but to Snitch he was simply Skittery, the seventeen year-old newsboy with stormy dark eyes that wore pink each night. To me, he was Isaac Tatum, young man in his fullest bloom, the sole escapee from the Never-Never Land of New York. The rest of us were stuck young boys forever, until we learned to escape too.

I wanted to tell Isaac I loved him, somehow. I didn't know quite how I'd do it either.

(let me give you a kiss)

Christmas started to approach, the child's favorite holiday, the day when dreams come true. I picked that as the day when I would tell Isaac I loved him. I was especially delighted when Snitch left, certain that God was on my side for this.

Then, Christmas Day arrived. I saw the thunder in Isaac's dark eyes; I could read them. They spelt one thing: death, for Isaac.

Death for Isaac, meant death for me.

I tried to cheer him up, giving him my gifts. I silently blamed this depression on Snitch; though I also tried to convince myself that I could make Isaac love me.

But, love isn't meant for little boys in Never-Never Land.

Snitch returned that day, half-frozen, closer to death than to life. Yet, more than anything, he wanted to give a gift to Isaac. When they looked at each other, I was hurt to see that Snitch had managed to escape too, he had managed to flee this fairy-town that the rest of us lived in.

His love for Isaac had made him an adult,

(he held out his hand to her, and she, not wanting to embarrass him, placed a thimble in his hand)

as the strike had made Isaac an adult.

I turned myself away from them when they kissed, and wiped tears away from my face. Isaac would never be mine; he would forever belong to Snitch, no…Danny Riccio.

I shake myself from this fog of nostalgia and realize that I'm crying again. Why should I cry? They're happy together, aren't they? I hadn't seen either of them for years, then suddenly, this bright Christmas Eve, on my walk around Central Park, I saw them together under a tree. I recognized them instantly, though it had been fifteen years; Isaac's eyes were still dark and stormy, and Danny's smile was still filled with bright, though rather large, teeth. I stared at them as they held each other under the tree and counted the stars

(second star to the right, then straight on till morning)

above them, the stars that would be the only things to outlast their love. I ran off, knowing that I had not escaped Never-Never Land like I thought I had. If I had escaped, I would be the one in Isaac's arms right now, feeling his mouth on my neck, enjoying the warmth of his skin against mine...

And now, here I am. Atop the tallest skyscraper I could find that was open on Christmas, the only one that would let me climb to the top

(christmas has the highest suicide rate of any other day of the year)

and survey the gray, snowy Christmas of New York. The streets were empty; everyone was inside opening their gifts.

Except the new generation of newsboys, chanting headlines even on Christmas.

They would be the ones to find me, then the ones to read my headline the next morning.

(I want to give her a kiss)

I lean out over the railway, shutting my eyes against the sight of the cold hard ground far below me.

"If only I could have held you once in all my years, Isaac Tatum." I say softly. "If only you hadn't escaped Never-Never Land before I did…I never escaped it. I'm going to escape now

(no! no, you'll only break {his} heart!)

Too bad it'll be too late.

(no. a real kiss)

And I fall. Fall out of Never-Never Land and into the land where children grow up and become adults.

A land I was never able to live in.

A land I never will live in.

***AUTHOR'S NOTE***

Well…this was slightly different, I think.

I tried a Stephen King technique on this one, all the parentheses and italics are random thoughts from Jake. Stephen King does that a lot and I absolutely love it. ^^ I wanted to try it.

And this story was inspired from a song I heard at lunch today, from our local ska band, The Leftoriums (THEY ROCK!). It was called 'Never-Never Land', and I forget what it was really about, but it was an awesome song, and inspired me to write this. So! The real last part of the whole Mournful Gaze and Where Are You Christmas?…um…trilogy? I dunno. Whatever! Total random story that I had to write. That's all. ^^;; Bye!