Author: Satashi PM
What happens when you cross 11 Gryffindors, magical shot glasses and lots of secrets? One Excilent game of I've Never!Rated: Fiction M - English - Humor - Words: 3,661 - Reviews: 124 - Favs: 179 - Follows: 24 - Published: 12-22-02 - Status: Complete - id: 1137626
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
A/N: Okay, before you read, hear this. This was made for no purpose other than to get a laugh. All characters mentioned would not do even half of the things in this 'fic. It's all for humour's sake. Do not read this 'fic with a serious mind. I know you all know that, but just in case I wanted to say that. ^^. Now, on with the fun!
"Harry! Get your tale down here, mate! We're gonna play a game!" Harry sat up on his bed and looked at the door, where Fred was grinning at him like an idiot. "Neville, Seamus, Colin, Dean, Ron, You too. Meet me down in the common room!"
And with that, he retreated. Harry gave Ron a confused look, who shrugged in an answer. "As long as it's not another game of Truth or Dare, I'm all for it."
There were collective nods and the group made there way downstairs to where Fred and George were sitting at the circular table. It seemed that Angelina, Patty, and Lee were already there as well. Ginny looked up as the group passed and gave Harry an inquisitive look. "Come on, Gin." Harry grinned, taking her hand and pulling her up out of her chair. "You play too." Ginny blushed furiously, but allowed him to drag her to the table.
"What's this game?" Ron asked, looking at his brothers.
"Once you're in, you're in." George told them with a smirk. "Who feels brave?"
"I'm in." Harry grinned. This sounded fun. Instantly an empty shot glass appeared before him. "What the…?"
"Who else?" Fred leaned forward.
"Me." Ron offered, getting a glass as well. Soon, everyone claimed they were up to the mystery game and the glasses were complete around the table.
"Here's the name of the game, guys." George said, sitting down himself. "I've Never. It's simple really. One person says something he or she has never done, and whoever has, takes a drink."
"A drink?" Fred asked, faking curiosity.
"I'm glad you asked, my dear brother." George replied in an overplayed thankful voice. "Fire whisky was donated to the game by the profits of the Jokes R Us foundation."
"Fire whisky?" Ginny asked, looking at it. "Aren't we a little young?"
"No one is too young." Fred grinned. "You got into this, you're staying."
"Anyway," George picked up again. "Your shot glass will fill magically after a drink. Don't try and lie by saying that you haven't done something, because if you have, your glass will slide to you."
"And example?" Dean asked, looking at his now full shot.
"For example…" Fred thought for a moment before looking around. "I have never fallen for a Weasley Wizard Weezer."
Instantly everyone's glass slide toward him or her, excluding Fred's. The group all gave their glass a short glance before shrugging and gulping it down.
Harry and Ginny were the only one to cough, however. "Sweet Merlin!" Harry cried, clutching his throat. "That stuff burns!"
"But of course." George replied, seemingly unfazed by his shot. Their glasses slowly re-filled and Fred gave everyone a smug look. "We will all start to feel its effects at different times. My dear sister Ginny will probably be the first, followed closely by Harry, if you ask me."
"I can take this stuff!" Harry protested loudly.
"Then get a load of this!" George called. "I've never cheated on a potions test!" Harry, Ron, Ginny, and Lee's glasses all slid toward them.
"Ginny?" Harry asked amazed. She only blushed lightly and looked at her drink.
"Well," Ron said, holding up his glass. "Cheers."
And all four drank. Unfortunately, Ron coughed this time, getting him a good laugh from his older brothers and Lee.
"I've never made out with a girl in the common room!" Ron snorted at them. Fred, George, Lee's, and amazingly, Collin's glasses slid toward them.
Seamus blinked at his friend. "Collin?"
He grinned and tapped his glass to the other boy's. "To us." He said triumphantly and downed his drink.
Lee, having his third straight drink had a goofy grin on his face. "Chhhheeeeeeee!" He screeched out, watching his shot glass refill. "This stuff is great!"
"This is getting good." Harry smirked, looking at his friends. "Let's find some more stuff about each other." Harry slowly looked around the table. "I have never…." A grin hit his face. "Fantasized about a girl while playing quidditch."
Fred and George reached for their glasses before they even slid to them. The sound of a third glass made all their eyes turn to Angelina, who was blushing furiously.
"Angelina?" Neville asked, arching an eyebrow.
"Oh hush." She took her shot and slammed it on the table, eyeing Harry, who was looking apologetic.
"My turn." Collin called out, glancing at his camera and then to Harry. "I've never taken a picture of a naked girl!"
Everyone's eyes instantly shot to Harry, whose glass went toward him. Unfortunately, so did Ron's.
"Harry!" Ginny was shocked.
"Go little bro!" the twins cheered.
Ron gave Harry a smug look and the two clicked their glasses together and downed them as quick as they could. They were refilled as soon as they hit the table.
"Sorry, Gin." Harry smiled. "But she offered, and…"
"I don't wanna hear about it." She sniffed and turned around.
"Can I see them later, guys?" Seamus asked Ron, leaning close to him.
"Sod off." Ron smirked but gave him a grin that said he could.
He grinned back and then turned to the group. "I have never turned water into alcohol."
The three pranksters all reached for their glasses, and Neville surprisingly joined them. "To a good time!" Neville toasted, getting approving looks from the other three. As it was going, Lee just might be the first one to get drunk after all.
"Unfortunately." Neville continued, setting his glass down, looking at his friend. "I have never felt up a girl during class."
Dean's glass slid to him and everyone's eyes but Neville's went wide.
"Dean!?" Harry asked, amazed. "And here I thought you was shy about girls!"
Dean gulped down his glass and smirked. "Oh ye of little faith." Ron high fived him, laughing.
"You guys are so immature!" Hermione scolded, walking up and standing behind Harry's chair. "This is stupid! Revealing secrets and drinking! Why, I have never been so appalled in my entire life!"
Everyone's hands quickly shot out to their glasses. "We have!" they chorused, drinking. Suddenly Hermione found herself being pulled into a chair and a shot glass in front of her was being filled.
"Oh no!" She shook her head. "Not me!"
Harry grinned, already a little buzzed on the few drinks that he had (being his first time to drink something so strong). "When you're in, you're in." He smiled stupidly at her. "Let's get you up to speed, shall we?" he picked up his glass and made a motion of toasting to her. "I have never posed for a naked picture!"
Hermione's glass slid toward her. "Harry!"
"Drink up." Ginny grinned, crossing her arms.
The girl's eyes went to the drink and to everyone else's. Suddenly she realized that she indeed needed a drink after that had been revealed. Quickly she drank it and coughed horribly, bringing cheers from everyone at the table.
Dean looked at the new comer with a smile. "It's okay Hermione." He comforted. "You get used to the stuff after the first two drinks or so." Hermione gave him a small smile of gratitude. "Unfortunately, I know you and I, personally, can say that I have never spent more than six hours in the library studying."
Hermione's freshly filled glass slid toward her again.
"Good one!" Ron congratulated.
"Drink up." Patty smiled at the girl.
Hermione sighed and drank again, once more coughing. She was already getting a headache. "This taste so nasty…" Slowly she took a steadying breath. "I'll get you guys for this."
"How about I get them for you?" Angelina asked sweetly. "You're two best friends, actually. You'd be surprised at all that goes on at quidditch practice." She smiled. "For instance… I have never had an orgasm while riding a broom stick."
Harry and Ron's face drained of all colour as their glasses moved toward them.
Ginny choked on her own breath and broke out into helpless laughter, soon followed by everyone else at the table, save the two boys.
"To us, I guess…" Harry muttered to his friend, tapping his glass to Ron's.
"To us." He agreed, equally embarrassed.
"Awww, Is Harry a little weak in the self control category?" Ginny cooed at him, patting his arm. "It's okay, Harry-warry, It's okay… Hahaha!"
Harry blushed even more and looked around the table for some sort of help. Surprisingly, it was Patty who came to his aid. "I have never kissed someone of the same sex."
The table went dead silent as Ginny's glass slid toward her. A moment later, another glass slid to Hermione. Harry smugly looked at the two, arching an eyebrow. "Something you two aren't telling us?"
Two more glasses slid and all eyes turned to the twins, who were eyeing each other with a gross look on their faces.
"My brothers are gay!" Ron squeaked, face pale. "Oh. My. God."
"We are not!" Fred snapped, glaring at a happily amused Patty. "If you must know, a girl got us drunk!"
"Very drunk." George added, quickly taking his shot and wishing he could take another.
"Bottoms up." Harry cooed at Ginny, who had still not drank her glass yet.
"I hate you." Ginny said half heatedly, coughing after she drank the liquor. Hermione wasn't taking it much better.
"I have your backs." Lee told his friends, glaring at Patty. "I have never cast a vibrating charm on my wand."
"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god…" Other than Patty's glass, Ginny's slid to her as well. The poor redhead was whispering under her breath.
"Well well well." Seamus mused, look at the two.
"I do hope that you still get a decent amount of sleep at night?" Dean joined in.
Harry leaned close to Ginny. "Hey, can I watch one night?"
Ginny quickly downed the liquor and eyed it appreciatively. She definitely needed it after that was revealed.
"Sorry about that, Gin." Lee said softly, obviously embarrassed about revealing that about her while trying to help out his friends.
"S'kay." Ginny meekly replied, still too embarrassed about the whole ordeal. Five drinks were starting to get to her small frame, and the room was starting to get a little fuzzy. Her mind wondered on how to get back at everyone for laughing so hard. Suddenly an idea came to her. She knew at least one person at the table did it, so it was good enough at least. "I have never had owl post sex."
All at once, everyone's glass (Save Ginny's) slid to them. A moment passed before Neville grabbed his and thrust it into the air. "CHEERS!"
Harry grabbed his as well and thrust it up, clashing against his, followed by everyone else. "CHEERS!" They all called together. Even Hermione didn't look embarrassed.
'Well that didn't work…' The redhead thought sadly.
Fred was laughing now. "You know what guys?" He asked the still chuckling group.
"What?" Angelina asked, smiling.
"I have never tried on women's robes."
Harry, Ron, Lee, and Dean all groaned.
"It was just once…" Harry began.
"Hermione's fault…" Ron added.
"I thought it'd be a funny joke…" Lee blushed.
"Screw it, it was fun." Dean held his glass up proudly. "Here's to curiosity!"
"Yeah!" The four boys disregarded the laughter around them and drank.
"Speaking of fun," Fred began, getting everyone's attention. "I have never streaked through the halls after hours."
George snagged his glass. "To me!" He gulped it down and bowed to the group with a huge smile on his face. Suddenly everyone was finding things to be less embarrassing and more funny.
Ron held up his glass to get everyone's attention to him. "I have never changed my sex during transfiguration class." He said, glancing to his right, where Hermione's glass slid to her. She looked at it a moment before shrugging and gulping it down as Ron sat his back on the table, not having to actually drink it. When her glass hit the table top, everyone cheered; as she didn't cough.
"Atta girl!" Angelina praised.
"Okay, okay, My turn!" Harry mimicked Ron's move to get attention and raised his glass. " I have never mistaken a quidditch player's privets as a 'snitch' before."
"Whoo-hoo!" Fred grabbed his glass along with George and Angelina. "To quidditch mistakes!"
"To mistakes!" They echoed and drank.
"Speaking of quidditch…" Colin mused, looking at his glass. "I have never been "caught" with a girl in the quidditch locker room."
"Well I sure as hell have." Harry commented, grabbing his glass and smiling at Hermione.
"I'm with you their, Harry." George joined in, raising his glass.
"Don't leave me out guys." Fred added, holding out his glass with the other two.
"Here's to a good time after the game!" Harry shouted, clashing all three glasses together and downing it.
Harry's world suddenly lurched and he felt the urge to giggle for no reason now. "Whoa there, mate." He heard Ron tell him, placing a hand on his shoulder. "You've never drank hard stuff before, take it easy there."
"Bah, I'm fine." Harry grinned and laughed.
"How many has he had?" Seamus asked, amazed. He personally was only feeling a little light.
Ginny counted on her fingers, but stopped when she starting getting weird sums. She giggled to herself. "Good lord!" Angelina shouted. "He's had eight!"
"Whoa!" Lee grinned, obviously a little tipsy. "And he can probably get drunk on five butter-beers!" George and Fred laughed with Lee, all having had a little too many drinks.
"I think he should drop from the game." Hermione slurred. Five drinks on her small frame were starting to make her feel a little weird and hot.
"Once you're in…" Neville began.
"… You're in." Seamus finished up, holding up his glass to Harry. "I have never been successfully drunk!"
Fred, George, Lee, Neville, Dean, and amazingly Ginny's glasses moved to them. They all picked it up and drank. George's head smacked the table along with his drink. He was laughing madly. Fred leaned back in his chair. "I think I'm gonna hurl…" He mused to himself.
Lee placed his head in his hands. "Geeze, that's… eight now I think…" He wasn't looking too hot either.
"How can you be 'successfully' drunk?" Hermione asked, finding a strange urge to giggle.
"Well Harry isn't quite drunk yet," Patty answered. " If the game stopped now, he would be 'tipsy' but not 'drunk', even though if he continued, he most definitely would be."
"Makes since." Hermione answered before laughing for no reason.
"Oy," Dean looked over at her. "She's kind of small. Should she be drinking this stuff? Even the twins are getting affected, and they have a tolerance."
Ginny hiccuped. "Oh shush! Girls can handle this stuff just as well!"
"Yeah!" Hermione confirmed.
Neville held up his glass, drawing attention. "I have never accidentally magiced out a sexual fantasy."
A sharp blush darted across Patty's face. "Why me?" She asked, drinking and getting catcalls from three very drunk pranksters.
"Well then, Neville," Dean grinned. "I've never shagged a girl on the night bus!"
"To me!" Neville grinned, gulping down his drink.
"Way to go mate!" Ron congratulated. "I underestimated you!"
"You and everyone else." Neville grinned. "Magic isn't my best subject, buuuuut…."
Lee broke into laughter. "Yeah right, Neville!" He looked up, obviously drunk. "You probably polish your broom more than all of us combined!" He raised his glass. "I have never masturbated more than four times in one day!"
Harry, Ron, and Dean all groaned, having their glass moved to them. "To not having a girlfriend." Harry muttered, but stopped mid toast and Ginny held up her glass too.
"Ask, and die." She said darkly, but snorted in a laugh and soon fell into helpless giggles.
"Ginny, dear, get a little horny do we now?" Hermione asked her drunken friend.
Ginny downed her drink and glared. "Well, I have never masturbated with my wand in DADA class!"
Harry and Ron's eyes instantly shot to Hermione, who was picking up her glass. "Wha… HOW?" Ron stammered, looking over at Harry. "You sit by her don't you?"
Harry was grinning madly, obviously having just fallen over the drunk and not drunk line. "I was wondering what she was doing that day…" He hiccuped.
"Ginny, you little… You said you wouldn't tell anyone!" Hermione drank her drink furiously, but soon found that it didn't really matter anymore. "Well I have never dry humped Harry in his sleep!"
Ginny casually picked up her glass and toasted herself. "To hormones!" She drank. When the hot liquid went down her throat, she suddenly found that people were starting to dance around her. She snorted once, then again. Finally she beamed at everyone in a drunken smile and promptly passed out face first onto the table with a soft 'thump'.
Ron, having eight shots himself along with his brothers, patted Harry on the back and congratulated him on being a 'sexy bitch'. Fred and George were in hysterics, laughing at their little drunken sister having done something like that to Harry. The less drunk of the group, Dean, Seamus, Patty, and Angelina, were all shaking their heads. Tomorrow sure would be interesting.
"Know what guys?" Fred asked, waving his hand casually to get attention. "I've never shared my broomstick with another guy.
Harry and Ron grinned at each other and clinked glasses together, followed by Seamus. The three drank happily. Ron and Harry put their arms around each other's shoulders and shouted out how uncomfortable it really was, laughing like idiots. The rest of the table joined in.
"Hey, hey," Ron leaned forward and whispered. "I've never been in a threesome." He turned to look at his brothers and snickered once before falling onto the table with laughter. The twins and Patty sang a short song about how two heads are better than one before gulping down their whisky.
"Speaking of sex," Neville grinned, leaning forward. "Just so you all know, I've done it more than ten times… And I've never done it with a girl under twenty years of age."
"Whoa…." Ron gave him a look, picking up his glass. "You're the man, man."
The rest of the group all toasted him and gulped down their respective drink. Harry coughed and almost threw up. "Guys…. I think I need a nap… yeah, a nap."
And with that, the boy who had dueled Voldemort four times and lived to tell about it passed out stone drunk on the common room floor.
Ginny stirred lightly. " 'Never been on the bottom…" She managed out before once again slipping into sleep. Angelina and Patty tapped their glasses together and drank. Hermione looked into her's and tilted her head back and brought it to her lips. The only bad thing was, Her body hit the floor instead of the glass hitting the table.
Fred grinned. "Three down."
"Make that four…" Ron sank his head down onto the table.
"And the little brother finally calls it quits!"
"As you all should!"
The still conscious players turned their eyes to a very angry McGonagall. "Oops." Seamus grinned sheepishly. "Busted."
"I've never been caught playing I've never!" Dennis suddenly called out, scampering to his room.
McGonagall was fuming. "This is unheard of!" She lectured. "In all my years, I have never been so ashamed!"
With everything revealed this night? Only two words escaped the still awake members: "We have!" And with that, they all drank to her.
A/N: Yeah! I just had to do that! Everyone always does Truth or Dare in the Harry Potter universe for some reason. Why not throw a twist on it? Just in case anyone is wondering, no I have never played "I've never" and none of the things said are from my personal experience. Actually, me and my friend Lee made out a chart of all the things said, who said it, and who has done it. Regretfully, I only used half of it for this 'fic. Some of them were rather crude and I decided to leave them out. I personally don't drink any, I don't like the taste of it. I'm in college as well. Geeze, I'm a loser. LOL! *raises his fire whisky. * Here's to never drinking alcohol and writing fanfics while not in class! * downs it and passes out all in one smooth motion. *
Hermione: Wow, his tolerance is weaker than Harry's!
Ginny: Harry? Low tolerance? No way, never.
*In the background one could see a naked Harry Potter dancing on the common room table with his boxers on his head and three butter beer bottles at his feet. *
If you're gonna drink, do it responsibly kiddos! ^. ~
Review and you'll get to see what happens when Ron gets plastered! Well, not really, but do it anyway?