Title: You Can't Be Serious

Title: You Can't Be Serious!

Genre: Action, Adventure, Humor, and a little Angst

Main Characters: Snape, Sirius, and Harry

Rating: PG Summary: AU. Feeling the guilt of not being able to prevent the Potters' deaths, Snape goes over to Godric's Hollow before Hagrid or Sirius to see what's left. There, he sees baby Harry is still alive, and decides to take him. Sirius sees him leaving, and won't let anyone take his godson away. Therefore, the two men decide to raise him...together. Many laughs and tough times are to follow as the two enemies attempt to raise the little boy.

"We attack tomorrow...on Halloween."

Those words echoed through my mind over and over again like a broken record. "We attack tomorrow... Tomorrow... Tomorrow..."

I cursed out loud. Damn that Pettigrew when I got my hands on him!

I Apparated in front of Godric's Hollow, since Voldemort had broken through the barrier. I sucked my breath in when I saw the house. It was almost in complete ruin. Smoke was rising from one section of the house, floating higher and higher as it mixed in with the air. I cautiously took a step toward the house, anticipating the bodies I would see. Sure enough, I saw the body of my enemy throughout my Hogwarts days, lying on the ground flat on his back, his eyes open. There was a defiant stare in them, though, and that made me feel a little better.

I noticed that James' body was laid in front of the stairs, and I smiled. "Defended his family to the end." My voice sounded odd and out of place in the chilling silence.

I pulled my cloak tightly around me, shivering in the cold night air. I bent down and placed James' hands on his chest, and gently moved him away from the stairs. I slowly put my foot on the bottom stair, knowing that Lily's body must be upstairs - along with their son.

But I noticed something strange coming from an upstairs bedroom - it sounded like someone was crying. Did someone get here before me? I wondered. I quickly climbed the rest of the stairs, following the sounds of the soft sobbing. What I saw when I entered the bedroom stunned me. I saw Lily's body, which I completely expected. The look in her green eyes where also determined, just like her husband’s, and her body was placed right in front of her son, who was still alive. I stared at the little baby, who was crying quietly, blood running down his face from a cut on his forehead.

"Oh my God." I crossed the room and bent down in front of the baby. The baby looked at me, silent tears running down his cheeks. He lifted his arms towards me, begging to be picked up. I awkwardly picked him up, holding him close. The little infant looked at me, green eyes wide.

"Mummy?" he whispered, looking at his mother on the ground. He lifted an arm toward her, trying to touch her.

"No, Harry," I said quietly, grabbing the arm that was reaching toward his mother.

"Mummy!" Harry persisted, now trying to pull himself out of my arms. My heart broke as I guided the crying baby out of the room, who was now positively bawling.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. "Mummy can't help you anymore."

I carried the baby downstairs, where we met James. Harry's lip quivered.

"Daddy?"

"Daddy and Mummy saved you, Harry," I said, struggling to get the words out. "They want you to live your life. They loved you that much. They died for you!" And I found myself completely babbling to a one year old that probably had no clue what I was saying. But as the words spilled from my mouth, I could see understanding in those big green eyes.

I carried the now silent Harry out of the house, and we stood there, watching the house one last time. I gently stroked Harry's head as I took in a deep sigh.

"Hey! What the hell do you think you're doin'? What are you doing with my godson?"

I whirled around at the voice. "Black?" The man stopped dead in his tracks.

"Snape? What are you doing here?" I silently nodded my head toward the house, and for once in my life, began to feel sorry for Black. I watched him sink to his knees, his face growing pale as he began to shake.

"No...not James! Please!" Black's voice was weak, and I didn't know what to say. "He's dead, isn't he?"

I nodded. I have never seen a grown man break down like Black did. He was screaming as he cried, shrieking "No!" over and over.

"I'm sorry," I told him, my voice void of any emotion. Black stood up angrily.

"You're sorry? YOU'RE SORRY? Listen here, Death Eater," he spat. "You better get the hell off this land before I get someone here to arrest you. Don't you DARE even think you can tell me you're sorry after all the hell that you have given us! How dare you show up at his house!"

I felt my own anger well up him me. "Hey, I didn't kill him, you git! So don't even think you can put the blame on me! I would have stopped this if I could!" I forgot that I still held a baby in my arms, and at the sight of the two of us screaming at each other, he began to cry.

I quickly began to rock him, trying to shush him. "I'm sorry Harry, it's okay," I kept repeating. Black began to run to me.

"Give him to me," he whispered darkly. "He's my godson. I'm supposed to take care of him now."

I shook my head, pulling away from him. Black stared at me in disbelief. "Now you are going to take the only thing I have left of James?"

"He's not James, he's Harry," I told him, not looking up, still trying to still the crying baby. When I didn't hear a response from Black, I looked up. His head was in his hands, and he said something so quiet I almost couldn't hear him.

"Just let me hold him." I hesitantly gave Harry over to Black. He smiled thinly at the sight of the baby.

"What happened to his head?"

"I don't know," I replied. "I got here after...all this."

The anger returned in Black as his face tightened up. "Pettigrew," he almost growled. "He'll pay!"

"Yes," I quickly agreed with him. "He'll pay. But not now, Black. We have to do something with Harry now." It took a couple seconds for Black to nod his head in agreement.

"All right. So what do we do?"

I know I shouldn't be starting this story. After all, I have two others that I'm supposed to be updating. But I had to post something, because I can't post with my others yet. This chapter was dark and depressing, but you'll see why it's humor in the following chapters. Let me know if I should continue! Because if I shouldn't, I should be spending my time on my other stories. I just wanted to see if you guys would want to read it. Let me know!